Harry Styles Fanfiction - Remember Me?

Chapter 26

June 2015
**YOUR POV**
„Oh my god, Y/n, I had no idea. I'm so sorry." James got up and walked around his desk, towards me to hug me. He covered his mic for a second to whisper in my ear. „I'm so sorry, I wouldn't have asked this if I-."

I cut him off as I saw how genuinely concerned he was. „No, it's okay James. You didn't know."

„God, I don't know what to say, I'm so sorry you had to go through this." He sat back down behind his desk.

„It was...it was hard, very hard, but I'm glad that I got another chance to live and survived. I get to be here and I'm forever thankful for that. Life is tough, but it still is the most wonderful thing and to watch it get taken away from you by a disease is unfair and heartbreaking."

„And I think I speak for all when I say, we're all thankful that you beat it and are with us." James said before starting to applaud, followed by the rest of the audience, including all the crew members from backstage that appeared in the back.

It was so heartwarming to see how many people really cared. They cared about me, even though they didn't really know me.

I looked around, taking in that very special moment and spotted Harry and the four other boys standing in the back where the rest of the crew was. They were also clapping, but the look of Niall, Zayn, Liam and Louis, who didn't know about this at all, were heartbreaking.

I looked at Harry, my eyes meeting his. He nodded comfortably, smiling proudly at me. I smiled back a little bit, nodding slightly to show him I saw and right in that moment, I felt relieved he was there and supported my decision no matter what it was.

I looked at him, at his beautiful and innocent smile and felt the butterflies again. The feeling, that showed me once again how much I really missed him and how much I needed him. He went through so much for me and because of me and still, he stood there, supporting me, smiling at me and just being there for me.

We only broke eye contact when Mason led him backstage again. For some reason he didn't like it when I was around him or even just talked to him. I hated it, because now that he was gone, I felt a little more empty and alone already.

Mason knew how big of a deal this whole thing was to me, how much I was scared to come back and to even think of telling people my story. He knew how important Harry was to me all my life long. Why would he not let him stay there...for me? I sighed and turned back to James and the audience.

„Thank you so much. Thank you this means a lot." I blew kisses to the audience, trying not to cry as I realized they were still clapping.

„So, Y/n, now that you're back. Are you alright? Is everything okay with you?" James asked, genuinely worried again.

„Yes, I'm okay, still trying to get my power back completely, but I'm...I am cancer free." I breathed the last part more likely than saying it out loud and quickly wiped a tear away as it started to fall over my cheek, the whole story kind of hitting me again.

*

„This was Y/n Y/l/n with her new album ‚Believe', go get it now before it's sold out!" James finished the interview after what felt like hours. „Thank you so much Y/n!" He got up to hug me again.

„I thank you, James." I let go of the hug and went backstage as soon as we finished.

I got into my dressing room just as One Direction started their performance when I heard a knock on my door.

„Come in!" I called as I took my heels off and out my white sneakers on.

„Hey, Y/n." I looked up, seeing James standing in front of me.

„James, hey. Did I do something wrong?" I asked, not sure why he was here.

„No, no, no." He shook his head. „I just wanted to apologize. I didn't want to put you on the spot like that, I would have never done this if I knew."

„Oh no, don't worry, it's okay. You couldn't have known." I told him.

„Gosh, Y/n." He sighed before placing his hand on my shoulder. „You had cancer..."

I nodded slowly. „Yeah, I had cancer."

„I'm sorry you had to go through this. Are you really okay? Are you fine?"

„Yes, I am, I really am, thanks for checking."

„Does Harry know?" He asked kind of shy.

„Yes, he does, but I only told him a few days ago." I explained. „Nobody knew besides Mason, so everything is kind of new to everyone."

„Oh okay, well, I'm glad you're okay. I'll sed you soon, okay?"

„Sure, see you soon." I smiled a little bit before he left the room.

I packed together all my things so I was ready to go back to the hotel as soon as the boys were finished.

„We're leaving in half an hour." Mason informed me after the door opened and his head appeared from behind the door.

There was no ,I'm proud of you for telling' or ,You did good, great job'. There was nothing. Why was I even surprised? It was still kind of dragging me down, because I would have been okay with just a word about the performance or the interview, just a ,good job' would have been more than enough, but there was nothing. As always.

„Okay, I'll be ready." I answered him, getting back to packing my things.
He left the door open as he went. I looked at it, on my way to close it, but stopped in my tracks. I didn't care and just left it open as it was. No one was around, so I literally didn't care.

I was about to change my clothes, my hands gliding over the white fabric of my dress until they reached my stomach and I felt the scarred skin on it through the fabric.

I sighed deeply, looking at myself in the mirror in front of me. I didn't see the scars, but I knew they were there and I knew how I looked underneath the dress.

I let out a sob without even knowing why. Well, I knew, but I still couldn't really explain what was the actual cause, because I cried a lot over this whole thing, this situation and everything what was happening and happened in the past.

Everything went through my head. It was so much to handle, to process and to think of. It scared the shit out of me and I hated it. I hated to not have the control over things happening in my life. I couldn't handle this all by myself, but I had to.

The sound of my phone going off with the reminder of my next check up appointment tomorrow popping up on my screen was no help and it made me cry even more.

„Shit...it's tomorrow." I totally forgot about this appointment, but I couldn't reschedule it. I had to go and get checked out to see if I was still...cancer free. So as soon as I would land in London tomorrow, I had to go to the hospital to my doctor and get it over with before Harry and I would go to Manchester.

Tears were silently flowing down like a waterfall. Everything was so stressful and overwhelming right now and I had no idea how to handle it.