Harry Styles Fanfiction - Remember Me?

Chapter 112

February 2016
**YOUR POV**
„Yeah, I get that, I understand. It was too soon I know." Harry told her.

„Alright, good. You're free to leave and go home. We'll give you some pain medication to take home, something that's not too strong, so you can take it if the pain is unbearable. Maybe doctor Russell already told you this after your surgery, but I'd recommend to get one of those pregnancy pillows to place between your legs while lying down. A lot of patients after their spinal fusion said it would help a lot, so you should try it and see how it works for you. You can also do it with some normal cushions placed between your legs."

„Okay, we'll try that for sure, thank you." I looked at Harry and then doctor Brown, nodding.

„Okay, good. That would have been all. Take care, Harry, I'll see you at your next check up here."

„Yes, thank you." Harry said silently before she left.

„I'm glad it's nothing worse, H." Liam said as the boys stood up from where they sat.

„Yeah, really relieved." Zayn added.

„We're gonna have a serious talk with management tomorrow, I can promise you that." Louis said, still furious.

„Yeah, they shouldn't have forced you to perform already when you clearly still weren't ready." Niall said.

„Okay, thank you." Harry gave them the worst fake smile ever.

„Do you need anything else? A drive home?" Liam asked.

„No thank you, I'm here with my driver." I assured them.

„Thank you guys, wouldn't know what to do without you." Harry told them, his eyes closing again.

„No need to thank us." Zayn smiled a little.

The four of them made sure Harry was okay before they left the hospital, promising they'd come by sometime to visit at home while we had to stay and wait for Harry's discharge papers.

„Here, I'll help you." I stretched my hands out as I saw Harry struggling to sit up and helped him move to the edge of the bed so his feet would be placed on the floor, his eyes shut while doing so.

„Thanks." He said quietly. „Do you...maybe have a hair tie? I wanna have it out of my face."

„Yeah I have one." I nodded, looking for it in my purse. He held his hand up to take it, but instead of giving it to him, I walked around the bed, kneeling on it right behind him and kissed the back of his head before I gently gathered all his long curls so I could tie them up into a bun like he usually did.

„Thank you." He sighed. „I got such a headache." He breathed tiredly.

„My love, we'll go home soon. We just need to wait for those papers then we can leave and you can get some rest."

„Are you mad?"

I frowned. „Mad?"

„Cause it was too soon. I shouldn't have performed." He looked down on the floor.

„I'm not mad, Harry. I'm just worried. It's not your fault that management made you perform. You had no say in this which is shit, but it's definitely not your fault." I put my finger under his chin to lift his head so he would look up at me as I saw tears in his eyes. „Baby, why the tears, huh?"

It didn't take long for him to fully break down and burst out in tears before he was able to talk.

„Hey, Harry my love, what's the matter?" I cupped his cheeks, wiping the tears with my thumb away, but they just kept on coming, his beautiful, shiny eyes now red and puffy.

„I can't do this anymore, Y/n. I can't...I just can't." He sniffled.

„What do you mean, lovie?" I crouched down in front of him.

„I wish I never broke my back." He cried. „I wish I never stepped on that bloody platform so this would have never happened."

„Oh Harry." I said silently as he continued.

„It's been months and I can't do the simplest things. I wanna be able to move properly, to bend and twist, to be able to sing properly. I wanna go back to the gym and work out, get stronger. I lost so much weight, I look pathetic and I'm in so much pain all the time...I just wanna be my old me again. I wanna go back on tour and perform." He admitted, crying harder again. „As soon as I take one step forward, I'm going back ten again."

I knew this would happen at some point, that he would break down, because it was all too much. He's been handling it so well so it was just a matter of time until he would break. And now he did and it hurt my heart so much. He admitted some things he never said to me before during the past few months that made me feel somehow inattentive because I didn't notice, I never knew.

„You've been in more pain than you admitted?"

He nodded slowly. „This fucking rods and plates in my spine do nothing but hurt and limit me. You took care of me nonstop ever since the surgery and I don't wanna bother you anymore with this. I hate this so much, I can't do this anymore. It's messing with my mind." He cried, tears streaming down his cheeks. „I just wanna be me again." His voice broke at the last words.

„And you will be, my sweet darling. Come here." I got up to carefully hug him. He wrappd his arms tight around my body and buried his face in the crook of my neck. „It's gonna be okay, baby, you'll be okay. I'm sorry I can't do anything to help you more, honey, but I want you to know that I'm here for you, always and you don't ever bother me with anything. I'm here for you and I love you, so, so much. I just want you to be okay. Even though I can't relate to what you've been going through all these months, I wanna do the best to help you get better." I told him, gently stroking his back. „You heard what doctor Brown said. It's all about time and resting and you're gonna do that now."

„I love you so much." He sniffled. „Thank you for always being here for me. Thank you for being so patient."

„No need to thank me, baby and besides, you are the most patient person I know after everything that happened and you had to go through. I admire that really." I told him, pressing a kiss on his cheek. „I promise you, you'll be your old you again and will be able to do all the things you can't now. You'll be your old you again, but with time." I looked into his teary eyes, wiping the remaining tears on his cheeks away. „I believe in you and I'm so proud of how far you've already come. You can do it, I know you can and I'll be by your side, always. Okay?"

He nodded slowly. „I love you, Y/n."

„Love you more." I kissed his lips this time. „I know you're feeling down right now, but it'll be okay. We'll spend the next three weeks together and I'll spoil you again." I kissed him. „I hate to see you like this. I don't want you to be sad. Your teary eyes make my heart hurt. I wanna see your beautiful smile, your adorable dimples and that beautiful sparkle in your shiny eyes." I cupped both his cheeks again and kissed his forehead before I wiped his tears off his cheeks. „It's gonna be alright, I promise. And you know I always keep my promises."

He nodded slowly, wiping the last few remaining tears away himself. „I wouldn't know what to do without you. You keep me going every single day. You make everything better, less stressful, less pressuring, just better."

„I don't know what to say, Haz. I'd do everything for you." I cupped his cheeks again and pressed a kiss on his forehead.

„Likewise." He said silently, cracking a small smile.

„There it is." I whispered before I kissed and hugged him again.

A little while later, the nurse brought Harry's discharge papers and a wheelchair so he wouldn't have to walk all the way to the car.