Harry Styles Fanfiction - Remember Me?

Chapter 190

**HARRYS POV**
„I don't want you to see me like this..." I sniffled.

„Harry..."

„Please tell me you haven't given up on fighting, Y/n." I eventually looked up when she moved to sit in front of me. „I can't lose you. Don't give up...please I beg you...you're stronger than this. I know you are...why are you talking like you've already given up?" Tears ran down my cheeks.

„I am fighting, Harry...I'm sorry, sometimes it's just so hard to do so, because I'm so tired of it. Having this for the third time and going through it all over again is just so tiring and frustrating. I don't wanna make you sad, Harry. I'm sorry. I wann live, of course I do. I don't wanna leave you alone. I love you so much and I just want both of us to be happy again and to be able to live our lives no matter how boring they'd be." She said, hugging me properly this time. „I'm sorry I made you so sad. I don't wanna see tears leak from your beautiful, green eyes." She smiled a little so I did too.

„I love you more, Y/n. I love you so much." I kissed her lips when she let go of me. „I just don't wanna lose you. I cannot do life without you."

„You won't lose me." She then grabbed a tissue and wiped the tears on my cheeks away before she kissed me again. „You won't, okay?" She looked deep into my eyes.

I nodded and changed the subject. „Come on, let's get you settled in bed, you're shaking all over." I said after the tears stopped running and helped her up from the cold bathroom floor before I lifted the sheets of our bed and covered her again with them as soon as she was in.

„So, how have you imagined the show to be like?" I asked her after I sat beside her on my side of the bed. „What do you wanna do?"

„I wanna perform at a small intimate venue with just like a 1000 people and I wanna donate the whole income of the tickets." She started. „I want it to be like a tribute show or something, just for the fans. Like a goodbye, but no really, you know?"

I nodded with a small smile and let her continue explaining.

„I'll sing the songs the fans always wanted to hear but never got to, because I never performed them live and I'm gonna sing some new ones from the new album. I just...it's important to me that it's gonna be intimate and that the atmosphere is gonna be special. I wanna feel as close to the fans as I can."

„That sounds beautiful, love. It's gonna be as special as you want it to be. I promise." I assured her.

„Thank you, that means a lot to me." She smiled, falling back into the cushions.

„Love, your forehead is still really warm, I think you still got a fever." I told her after checking her forehead. „How are you feeling otherwise?"

„A bit nauseous and dizzy." She admitted with a sigh.

„Just lay down like that for a while."

Just then, the door opened after a knock on it and my mum walked in.

„Hey lovely, how are you feeling?" She asked Y/n.

„Alright as of now. I think I'll just sleep a bit, I'm really tired."

„Okay get some rest. Do you need anything?" She asked again.

„No, thanks, Anne." Y/n responded and my mum left the room afterwards.

„Okay then, I'm gonna let you sleep, love." I turned back to Y/n and kissed her cheek.

„Wait, stay, I wanna spend some more time with you."

„Don't fight it, love. I know you're beyond tired." I smiled at her. „Get some sleep, we can spend some more time together later."

„Okay...can we eat the Chinese food later while watching a movie?" She asked sweetly.

„Of course. Whatever you want." I nodded.

I then got out of bed and turned the lights off so she could get some rest and sleep.
I went downstairs meanwhile to Gemma and my mum who couldn't stop talking about my new hair, but I was glad they all liked it as I felt really insecure about it in the beginning. Suddenly having short hair after having it long for quite a while was a real change.

I went back upstairs after a while to check on Y/n only to find her curled up in bed, clutching her stomach, her eyes shut and brows furrowed.

„Baby, what's wrong?" I sat down on the edge of the bed right next to her, rubbing her back.

„These cramps...are killing me." She breathed.

„Sweetie, I'm sorry." I placed my warm hand on her stomach and gently massaged it. „Is that okay?"

„Mhm." She nodded.

„Did the cramps just start now?" I wondered.

„Yeah...woke up because of them."

„I'm sorry, my love. I hope that helps." I kept massaging her stomach.

„It does, thank you."

„No worries, lovely. I'm gonna reheat the heating pack."

„Thank you." She said silently before I quickly left to heat it up and came back, placing it on her stomach.

I soothingly ran my hand through her hair as she pressed the heating pack against her stomach and just sat there, keeping her company for a while until she felt better.

„Feeling better, sweetie?"

„Yeah, thanks." She sighed. „Harry?"

„Yes, love?"

„Should I have gone to the check ups sooner than I did?" She asked me, her voice quiet and I could tell she felt guilty. „They could have found it sooner where it still would have been operable."

„Baby no." I shook my head. „This is not your fault. You weren't supposed to go as many times anymore, they said it was okay. You couldn't have known. Nobody could have." I told her. „Don't blame yourself for this, Y/n. It's not your fault. Okay? It's important to me that you know that."

She nodded slowly. „Okay. It just feels like it sometimes, because I was so busy the last few months."

„Love, you did everything your doctor told you to do, you took care of yourself. You went to every single check up, this is not something you could have known. It's not your fault, sweetheart."

„Okay." She nodded again. „I just want this to be over."

„Me too." I agreed. „It will be soon, my love. Very soon." I took her hand and pressed a kiss on the top of it.

She smiled a tiny bit at me, her eyes looking sad though.

„What do you say to watching a movie or something together, huh?" I suggested.

„I'd love that." She smiled.

„Great, you choose." I handed her the remote.

„Can we please watch Mrs. Doubtfire? It's one of my favorites." She asked me.

„Of course, whatever you want." I smiled at her.

We ended up eating the Chinese food I got her earlier while watching the movie together snuggled up in each other's arms.

„Y/n love?" I asked for her later that night after we finished the movie and watched some random tv show.

„Yeah?"

„It's your birthday next week...what do you feel like doing?" I wondered.

„Haven't really thought about it. I don't know if I feel like celebrating to be honest." She admitted.

„We don't have to if you don't want to, but would you feel up to going out for a bit? Not into a restaurant or something, just maybe back to the beach for a while. You love that place and it's really warm at night so you won't be cold."

„Yeah I'd like that." She nodded with a smile. „It really doesn't have to be special or anything in particular, H. I'm happy as long as I can spend it with you."

„I'll always try to make it special for you, beautiful. You deserve something as special as you are."

„That's sweet." She giggled. „Thanks, Harry. Love you."

„Love you more, angel."