Harry Styles Fanfiction - Remember Me?

Chapter 159

She looked at me with tears in her eyes and I just shrugged, in saying „it's really over".

„Haz..." She sighed before she tightly wrapped her arms around me. I buried my face in the crook of her neck, closing my eyes. „I'm so sorry, Harry...I don't know what to say."

„There is nothing to say really. It's just what it is." I hugged her back, enjoying every moment of it when I finally got the comfort I needed all along. „I'm really scared, Y/n."

„Baby, scared of what?" She rubbed my back.

„Of what comes after the end. I have to do this all alone after that. I've never done this alone. I don't know how it works." I admitted honestly.

„Don't already think about what happens after the end. You don't have to do anything at first, love. After...One Direction you're gonna have so much time to find yourself, what you wanna do and the style in your music. There is no pressure. You don't have to immediately start a solo career. Do what feels right, but I promise you, once it's time, everything will fall into place on its own and it's gonna be amazing. You're gonna be amazing." She told me and let go of me to look at me again, reaching her hand out to brush my hair out of my face. „Don't be so hard on yourself, it's all gonna be alright. And I'm here for you, always." She cupped my cheek and looked at me with a teary smile. „You'll be okay."

I nodded, hoping she was right. „Thank you. Love you, sweetie." I smiled back a little, noticing the cold wind made her shiver all over. „You're freezing." I chuckled at her trying to play it off. „Let's go home." I rubbed both her arms to warm her up before she stood up and got on her feet. I reached my hands out for her to take. „Help me up?"

She smiled and placed her hand in mine, pulling me up on my feet. „You're only getting older, baby..." She sing-songed the melody of Night Changes, making me laugh instantly.

„Either that or the metal in my back that got a little too cold."

„So it is bothering you!" She let out, emphasizing the „is" as if she just won something.

„I told you, it's the cold weather." I giggled at her and turned around, slowly heading towards the car after I slid my hand in hers and she followed me.

On the whole ride home up until we were getting ready and changed for bed, she didn't stop about talking how I should always tell her if something was up with my back, that it was important and that she always wanted to know and not see me suffer and stuff like that. I couldn't help but smile at her the whole time. I didn't know a person who would care more than Y/n did.

„Here, I got you a heating pad that will losen up everything a bit." She came back from downstairs as she entered our bedroom again.

„Babe, you didn't have to do that." I smiled at her, gladly taking it though.

„H, I can see it's bothering you, you know? Look at you, you're doing everything to avoid bending or twisting right now." Her expression was serious as she watched me go down to grab my shirt that fell to the floor, trying not to use my back. „We shouldn't have sat there so long, the cold wind didn't do your back any good."

„You know you sometimes forget that I had a bad back even before the surgery. I remember even having trouble with it on the day I broke it." I told her. „The cold weather just makes it a little worse."

„That doesn't mean you should suffer from it if there's something that can help." She placed the heating pad on my lower back as soon as I sat down on the edge of the bed. „Have you ever been to your chiropractor again?"

„No, I didn't dare to go after the surgery to be honest. I'm scared he'll just make it worse with what they put into my spine. It's all gotten a bit more sensitive since then."

„He's a specialist, babe. You can talk to him about it before he does anything. Maybe it's just some pinched nerve or something. He can help you with that." She told me, obviously being right.

I nodded. „I'm just a bit scared, you know?"

„You really don't have to be, lovie. He knows what he's doing, you're literally going to the best one there is." She smiled. „Does he even know about your injury?"

I shook my head. „Nope."

„Are you kidding me? It's been a year and you haven't told him?" She laughed at that, making me laugh aswell.

„I thought I'd just finish recovery and then go some time, so he'd never find out." I admitted.

„You do realize your injury was all over the news and he would have felt the metal back there as soon as he would have touched you anyways." She giggled.

„Well now that you say it." I shrugged, letting out a little laugh.

„Seriously though, promise me you'll make an appointment tomorrow."

„Alright alright, I will. I'm gonna call him tomorrow." I assured her and she leaned down to kiss my lips afterwards. „I thought of making an appointment with doctor Russell anyways."

„Why that? Is something else wrong?"

„No, no, I just want him to check my spine out and tell me if I've really officially finished recovery since he was the one that did the procedure in the first place and now that we're here in LA at the moment anyways, I got the time to do that."

„That's a good idea. After that, you'll know that it really is official." She smiled.

„Yes." I nodded, smiling back at her. „Wanna come with me tomorrow then?"

„I would if I could, but I have rehearsals for my performance at the Ellen Show tomorrow night." She said, twirling some of my hair around her fingers.

„Right. I'll come meet you there afterwards then. I wanna be backstage for your performance."

„Okay." She nodded, smiling before she came closer and cupped my cheek, looking down at me. „Are you okay otherwise?" She kissed my forehead.

„I guess." I nodded, not really sure what and how I really felt. „I don't know."

„Well H..." She moved to sit down next to me, rubbing my back. „No matter what, you're so loved. Not only by me and your family, also by the world. You're never alone and you're never not loved in any way."

I smiled at her always finding the perfect words to say in every situation. „I love you too, baby. Thanks for everything. I don't know what I'd do without you."

„No need to thank me, sunshine." She kissed my cheek. „Does your back feel a bit better? The truth please."

„Not really if I'm honest. It's fine though, I'll just sleep it off." I told her. „Baby, these news were pretty big and unexpected for you too, I know...how are you feeling about it? You've been there for all of it after all."

„Well, I am sad about it obviously, how could I not be? This was such a big part of your life, it's what made you get where you are now and it gave you so many opportunities you could have only dreamed of. I think I'm more sad for you than for the actual splitting, because I know it'll be hard for you as the band is so important to you and you only just got back at it. But you are right, some things just don't work out anymore as they used to and then it's time to stop. I'm proud of you for seeing that, because it takes a lot to admit that." She told me, still rubbing my back soothingly. „That sadness and the hurting is gonna pass though and you'll see what's in for you, what new opportunities you will get to still do the things you love just on your own. We always knew the day would come and now it's here. The band breaking up doesn't mean it's a step back in your career, it's the opposite actually. This will make you grow even more, it will make you even better until you reach the literal stars. And Harry to be brutally honest, after what you went through on tour, the band splitting is the best thing that could possibly happen to you right now for your mental and physical health and I know you know that as well as I do. You love it, but I don't want it to destroy you which it slowly started to do when you were away and that's not right. That's not how it should be. You'll figure everything out eventually and you'll see you're gonna be just fine. Maybe try something new, maybe don't, but the music, writing, singing, this art is your passion and your life. You're so good at it that's why you're gonna do absolutely amazing no matter what. You'll figure it out." She reassured me again. „Life is full of surprises, H. Who knows what's still in for you."