𝐼'𝓋𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 [ Adopted by Elizabeth Olsen ]

Chapter 10: "Throwing all my problems out the window"

⚠️TW:⚠️ Panic attack

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Nova's pov:

As soon as Elizabeth left for her car, I went to try and find Ally. Just like last week, I felt a panic attack coming. Why do I have to be like this? Why can't I just be normal? I would do anything to be able to be around people without getting anxious or panicky.

I found Ally in the common room above the indoor arena, looking down at the person riding. She turned around when she heard me stumble into the room. "Hey! There you are! How did it go- omg, are you okay?" She asked when she saw my state.

I was gasping for air, my eyes glossy from tears. "Here, come on, let's sit down, you're okay", Aly reassured me. I fell into her embrace, and she wasted no time in pulling me into her. We sat down on the sofa, and she made me look at her.

"Novs, come on, look at me, you're okay, take a deep breath hun, you can do it." It took me a couple of tries, but with Ally comforting me, I was able to regulate my breathing. "You're okay, just let it all out", Ally said while I was crying my heart out in her arms.

I didn't even know why I was crying, it just happens after every panic attack I have. I think they just tire me out so much, panic attacks are very draining.

When all you could hear was an occasional sniffle, Ally suggested food. "Novs, I got us Taco Bell and sodas, are you up for that?" I nodded. "I'm sorry...", I mumbled after my first bite of the taco.

"Don't be, it's completely understandable", she smiled. "I'm here for you, on your best and worst days"

Ally was always there for me. She was there to cheer on me on my best days, and she was there to pick up my broken pieces on my worst days. She was hands down the best friend I could have asked for.

"Thanks, it means a lot", I smiled weakly. "Of course", Ally answered. We ate the rest of our food while chatting about random things. You know, like friends do.

After finishing our food, we decided to go for a hack (trail ride). We went to go fetch both of our horses, and we put both of them in the crossties.

Right away, Ally started complaining about how dirty Crystal was. I mean, that's what you get when you decide to get a grey, so just live with it, Ally. "Ugghhhh, I can't believe I got a grey, like I love you Crystal, but that was probably the worst mistake of my life", Ally complained.

I just laughed. "Well, that's what you get, next time you get a horse, maybe get like a bay or a chestnut, they're a lot easier to clean", I giggled. As usual, Ally just glared playfully at me. She did eventually get Crystal clean though, it just took a while.

We got ourselves ready first, before tacking up our horses. "Ready to go?" Ally asked me. "Yup, just let me do up her girth really quick", I answered, quickly doing that.

After leading Luna and Crystal outside, we both hopped on. Ally wanted to go for a hack in the forest, so that's what we did. We took it slow at first, just admiring the scenery and taking some time to relax.

The conversation never stopped, although it was mostly one-sided. Ally did most of the talking, I was still a bit shaken up from earlier. But that's not unusual for us, we're the introvert-extrovert best friend relationship, Ally being the extrovert obviously.

She was talking to me about anything and everything, I just said a word or two when it seemed fitting. Ally understood. She knew I needed some time to think, or well, overthink, and she did a really good job of taking my mind off it, but there's only so much one can do.

My overthinking won, and I spent most of the hack deep in my own head, thoughts spinning constantly. I was thinking about everything. How I had been struggling with an essay for school, I thought about my lesson next weekend, and most of all, about Lizzie.

Why did she care so much? I mean, I'm just some random teenage girl while she's an award winning actress. And even if she did actually care, which she probably doesn't, when she would eventually find out everything that's messed up about me, she would definitely leave. And let's be honest, there are a lot of things about me that are messed up.

Then after she left, it would just be me and Ally as usual. She's the only one who's stuck with me through it all. She and Griffin.

My thoughts were put to an end when Ally asked me if I wanted to canter down the track. Wow, I had been stuck in my head for a long time. We were almost at the end of the path and almost back at the barn.

Everything remaining was a straight track, maybe 200 meters long, with some cross country fences along the side. We would usually gallop through here and over the fences if we were feeling like it.

I wasn't really in the right mindset for doing any jumping, I didn't want to do anything stupid, so we decided to just canter on the side of the fences.

There was enough space to just completely let go and let the horse go as fast as it wanted to, so that's what we did. We gave our horses the command, and they were off.

Luna set off. All I could hear were Luna's hooves thundering against the grass, alongside my heart beating. Adrenaline was coursing through my veins, and I could feel my heart thumping.

I allowed myself to slack the reins a bit, and I stood up in the stirrups in order to make it easier for Luna to canter faster. The wind was blowing past me, and I felt a huge smile spread on my face. It felt like I was flying, and I felt utterly and completely free.

Having been too caught up in the moment, I hadn't realized that we had gotten to the end of the track. We slowed down, but even when we came to a halt, I wasn't able to wipe the huge grin off my face for the rest of the hack.

I love cantering on Luna, preferably racing someone. Those times are the only moments I manage to throw all of my life's problems out of the window and just enjoy the moment.

After our hack, we did the usual. You know, tack off, turn the horses out, sweep the barn floor, make sure everything which has to be done is done.

I was pretty tired so after making sure all of the barn jobs were done, I said goodbye to Ally and started making my way home.

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Hi!! Another panic attack.... fun times ey? Poor Nova, hopefully it goes better for her soon.

Anyway, how are y'all? It's finally Saturday which is nice, how has your day been so far?

Remember to drink enough and eat a little something, we take care of ourselves here :)

I'm always here if you need to talk or just have a question <3

Love, Frida xx