𝐼'𝓋𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 [ Adopted by Elizabeth Olsen ]

Chapter 19: "No more tears left to cry"

⚠️TW:⚠️ Panic attack, swearing

This is an emotional one, prepare yourself....
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Lizzie's pov:

"Thank you so much for dinner, it was delicious", Nova smiled at Robbie while leaning back in her chair. "Are you sure you don't want anything else?" I asked. "Yeah I'm sure, I'm stuffed."

"That is definitely the best pasta I've ever had", she exclaimed, offering Robbie a polite smile. She was really trying to be nice to him, even though it was clear that she wasn't comfortable around him. I really admired that about her. Always trying to be nice and polite to people.

"Do you want to go to the living room while we clean this up? We were thinking about maybe watching a movie or something", I suggested. "I can help clean this up if you want I mean, you cooked, so we clean, right?" She said to Robbie.

"Nonono, you're the guest here, we'll clean up", Robbie shut that down pretty quickly. "Yeah I can't accept that, I'm helping whether you like it or not", Nova stated, starting to clean up the dishes we had used.

We worked together with cleaning everything up, and we got it done pretty fast. Robbie's phone started ringing, and he walked out of the room to answer it. "What do you say to a movie?" I asked.

"Sure, if that's fine with you", she smiled shyly. "Of course! What movie do you want to watch?" I asked her. "I don't mind, anything is fine."

Robbie then came back into the kitchen with an apologetic expression on his face, and I visibly saw Nova tense up in his presence. "I'm so sorry, Marlana (one of the band members in Milo Greene) demanded we record something now, she got this song idea so I have to head to the studio, I'm so sorry", he apologized.

Nova's pov:

Robbie was leaving? I was kind of relieved. Don't get me wrong, he seems great, I just get uncomfortable around men I don't know. Actually, just around men in general. "Don't worry about it, we'll just watch a movie", Lizzie smiled.

"it shouldn't take more than two hours, again, I'm so sorry Nova", he apologized again. "Don't worry about it, that's just the way it is sometimes with music", I smiled.

Robbie left, which left me and Lizzie alone. We got settled on the sofa and ended up putting on Harry Potter. What can I say, it's a classic. I sat at one end of the sofa and Lizzie on the other.

I really wanted to sit closer to her, but I didn't want to push my luck. She had already invited me to her home for dinner, I didn't want to ruin that. Lizzie must have read my mind because she paused the movie.

"Come here", she motioned for me to come lay between her legs (get your mind out of the gutter). "Are you sure?" I asked and she nodded. "Of course, you must be uncomfortable over there."

I scooted over to her and laid between her legs. She draped a blanket over us and wrapped her arms around me protectively before continuing the movie. I was stiff as a twig, and she was quick to notice.

"Are you okay?" I nodded. "Then relax, I've got you", she whispered. And with that I allowed myself to melt into her embrace and get the comfort my body craved. I let myself become comfortable, but that came with a risk. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to keep my walls up, to keep up the facade that I was okay. Because truth be told, I was not okay.

My mental health was crap, school work was slowly starting to become too much, and I didn't have anyone except Ally and Griffin. I didn't have family, I didn't have an adult I could trust. Sure, I had Miss Riley, but she was way too busy to help me with my problems.

And Lizzie was just going to realize that she was way too busy to care for a random teenager, and she would end up leaving too. I didn't realize tears were silently streaming down my cheeks until I got a salty taste in my mouth.

My breathing quickened, and I could feel a panic attack coming. Fuck. I couldn't have a panic attack now, I was quite literally in Lizzie's lap, watching a movie. I tried to push the feeling down, but it eventually caught up to me.

I started having trouble breathing, and my vision became blurry with tears. Silent sobs started leaving my body as I tried to get my breathing under control before Lizzie noticed.

My hands automatically went up to my hair, and I started pulling it. I do it every time I get anxious, but when I have a panic attack, it gets more violent and unless someone is there to stop it, I end up pulling out bunches of hair.

Nova, just breathe. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Try and focus on something else. Okay... There's a green plant over there. Happy Potter is playing on the TV. I'm sitting in Lizzie's lap-

Fuck. I'm sitting in Lizzie's lap. She's going to realize I'm having a panic attack and then she'll realize just how messed up I am, and then she'll never want to see me ever again.

Well, that didn't work. My body started shaking, and it was becoming increasingly harder to breathe.

"Hey, Nova, are you okay?" Lizzie asked concerned. She paused the movie. "Hey, look at me." I slowly turned around, but kept my head down, not wanting her to see me in this state. "Hun, look at me please", she asked and my blue eyes met her green ones.

"Oh baby, try and take a deep breath, can you do that for me hun?", Lizzie asked while sitting up and pulling me closer to her. "I- I can't", I sobbed, panicking even more. "Yes you can, just look at me and try to breathe with me okay?"

"Breath in... hold it.... and breathe out", she coaxed me through it. It took me a few tries but we eventually got there. "There you go, good job, just keep breathing, in through the nose, out through the mouth", she said.

Her hands pulled mine away from my hair, gently holding them down and away from my hair. "You're hurting yourself darling, you need to breathe, you're safe."

She continued breathing with me, occasionally rubbing my back and comforting me. "You're okay hun, I've got you." As I got my breathing under control, the crying came. I never cried in front of people, only Ally and Griffin had ever seen me cry, but no matter how strong I was trying to stay, I completely broke down in Lizzie's arms.

"It's okay to cry, just let it all out, I'm here", Lizzie reassured me, realizing how hard I was trying not to let the tears fall. That's when my walls crumbled. I nuzzled my head into the crook of her neck and wrapped my arms around her, scared she would either disappear or let go.

I completely broke down. Lizzie rocked me back and forth, occasionally saying something comforting or kissing my head.

I cried my heart out. I cried until there weren't any more tears left to cry. I cried more than I had ever cried before. I cried all of the tears I had been holding in, the ones I had never allowed to fall.

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Hey! How are you doing?

Sorry about this chapter, it's an emotional rollercoaster, that's for sure.

Anyway, I feel like it's been ages since I last updated, even though it really hasn't, a lot has just happened.

We take care of ourselves here, so remember to drink something and at least try and have a little snack or something to eat if you haven't already <3

Love, Frida xx