𝐼'𝓋𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 [ Adopted by Elizabeth Olsen ]

Chapter 39: "Spiralling"

⚠️TW:⚠️ panic attack

--------------------------------------------

We then moved on to the adoption papers. Miss Riley went through them with us before we were finally allowed to sign them. All this time, Nova had been leaning against my side, with her head on my shoulder.

I  had to stand up in order to sign the papers, but when I made any indication towards moving, Nova let out a little whine and pressed herself more against me. "I'm sorry babes, I have to get up", I told her, internally awing at her showing affection towards me.

She sighed and let me get up before getting up herself. We all signed where we were supposed to, and as soon as I put the pen down, I was engulfed  in a hug by Nova. "Thank you", she mumbled, her voice cracking.

"No, thank you", I answered. She pulled away and gave me a little smile before turning to Robbie. I was expecting her to keep her distance, maybe a handshake at most. But to my surprise, she actually  went up to him and wrapped her arms around him.

He seemed just as surprised as me, but he quickly reciprocated the hug. It was a little awkward, but nevertheless cute. It didn't last very long, but I  heard her mutter a quiet "thank you" to Robbie as well. 

We then quickly wrapped up and Nova gave Miss Riley a hug as well. They were both a little emotional, some hiding it better than others. Miss  Riley was full on crying, but I could see that Nova's eyes were glossed over too.

"Okay, so I know you haven't packed, so what about  you take Elizabeth and Robbie with you and go and do that", Miss Riley  suggested. Wait. Hadn't she packed? Why not? She knew she was getting  adopted today! Unless...

"I think I should stay here", Robbie said. "Nova and Lizzie need some bonding time", he continued, giving both of us a little smile. We knew why he didn't want to come, and the reason made me fall in love with him again for probably the 1000th time. 

He knew Nova wasn't very comfortable around him, due to some  past experiences with men that we didn't know the details of. Robbie was keeping his distance from Nova to not make her uncomfortable.

Even though Nova had just hugged him, that didn't mean she was just magically comfortable around him. It was going to take time, and Robbie was being so incredibly understandable and taking this at her pace. 

I mouthed a "thank you" to Robbie before going with Nova to her room. She pushed the door open, and it looked exactly the same as it had the last time I saw it. She hadn't packed. At all. Why?

She knew she was getting adopted.

"I'm  sorry, I haven't packed, you can just sit down while I do that, it's  not a ton of stuff", Nova suggested, looking down at her hands. She was  picking at the skin under her fingernails and I could see the skin turning red.

"I'll help you unless there's something in here you  don't want me to see", I offered, wanting to help but also at the same time wanting to let her have her privacy. When I was her age, I definitely had some stuff hidden in my room that I didn't want my  parents to see (*cough* stoner Lizzie era *cough*).

"I don't think I have anything, but you shouldn't be packing my stuff, I should have done it already. Now I'm just wasting your and Robbie's time and you're probably second-guessing the papers you just signed. I'm being an inconvenience over something  stupid, and you're still being kind to me. Why? I-"

I cut her rambling off before she completely spiralled. Her fingers had stopped picking at her skin, but they had found their way up to her hairline,  and she had started pulling at her roots. Something I noticed she did when she got stressed or anxious, and during a panic attack.

"Babes, you have to take a breath, you're spiralling", I told her, moving closer to her and gently prying her hands away from her hair. "N-No I- I shouldn't, no, I-I'm sorry-", she started fighting back, trying to free  her hands from my grip.

"Nova honey, can you try and take a deep breath for me? It's just me and you, breathe darling", I tried to  calm her down. I tried to hold her hands gently, as I didn't want to make anything escalate. She continued to try and break free from my grip to get her hands back up into her hair.

"Let's not do that okay, you'll hurt yourself darling."

"You're okay, it's just us, you're safe honey", I continued reassuring her. She finally managed to pull air into her lungs, and that's when it was like  a switch clicked. Her knees gave out and tears started streaming down her face.

I caught her before she could hit the floor, and  gently guided her to the bed. "That's it babes, deep breaths, let it all  out, 𝐼'𝓋𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊", I spoke gently.

She calmed herself down fairly fast with me holding her and reassuring her it was okay.

"I-I'm sorry", she hiccuped, profusely trying to wipe her tears. "No need to be sorry, it's all good", I smiled, using my thumbs to cup her face  and gently wipe her tears away for her. "Now, do you want to tell me why you haven't packed?" I asked her softly.

"It's just that-", her voice cracked. "Take your time babes, you don't have to tell me if you don't feel comfortable doing so", I told her. "But I feel like you   deserve that, I'm being an inconvenience, it's the least I can do", she mumbled. 

"Absolutely not", I cut her off. "You are NOT an    inconvenience in any way, shape or form, and don't let anyone tell you any different", I told her sternly.

That silenced her, but she eventually nodded in defeat. She still didn't believe me, but she was too drained and emotional to argue. "I don't know why I couldn't bring myself to pack, I think that packing meant that I was actually getting out of here, and that seemed too good to be true", she finally    started opening up.

"If I had packed, I would have accepted that I was getting out of here, but if you changed your mind, it would hurt. A lot."

————————————————

Heyy folks!

So how are we doing?

I'm okay, on my period and hurting, but otherwise fine. (Cramps are killing me)

But make sure you stay safe and hydrated :)

Love, Frida xx