𝐼'𝓋𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 [ Adopted by Elizabeth Olsen ]

Chapter 35: "Not bad"

Lizzie finally watched MoM???

⚠️TW:⚠️ flashback, panic attack, a version of SH, yk, the usual

———————————————

Lizzie's pov:

I placed her in my lap, with a little difficulty due to her desperately trying to get away from me. "It's me hun, you're safe I promise", I continued talking to her.

Suddenly, it was like a switch flicked in her head. She stopped struggling and looked up at me, her blue eyes dark and  bloodshot. "L-Lizzie?" she whispered  hoarsely. "Yes, it's me honey, you're  safe", I smiled. "I-I'm sorry",  she choked out.

"It's not your fault. Can you try and take a deep breath for me?" I asked her. She shook her head. "I-I can't."  "Yes you can. You're safe, it's just me  and you, 𝐼'𝓋𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊  honey.  Look, breathe with me okay?"

With  my guidance and  accentuated slow breaths, she was able to get her  breathing under  control. I took her hands in mine, gently pulling them away from her  hair. She struggled a bit, but I tried to be as gentle as possible, I  knew that if I held her too tightly, she would panic again.

Her  hands tried to find her hair again, but I kept them away. I didn't like  when she pulled at her hair, she was hurting herself. "Try not to do  that okay bubs, you'll hurt yourself and that beautiful hair of yours", I  told her firmly, but still keeping my voice soft.

She  stopped struggling and as soon as I knew she was getting enough  oxygen  and that she wasn't going to hurt herself, I pulled her close to me,  wrapping my arms protectively around  her.

Her body was still  racking with sobs, and I felt my shirt getting wet from her tears. But  two things were different. She wasn't having a flashback anymore, she  wasn't seeing him. I didn't know who he was, I just knew he had hurt her, and I hated him for it.

And,  she wasn't trying to get away from me anymore. Quite the opposite  actually. Her limbs were wrapped tightly around me, and her hands were  clenched around the fabric of my shirt, almost like I was going to  vanish into thin air.

Her head was nuzzled away in my chest,  shutting herself out from the world. "You're okay bubs, you're safe", I  kept whispering sweet reassurances into her ear as she calmed down. It  took her a while, but I knew she had to let it all out.

The  longer she cried, the more weight she put on me. Her sobs eventually  died down, and she was struggling to keep her eyes open. She was  exhausted. Having a panic attack was draining enough, not to mention the  flashback.

"I-I'm sorry", she sniffled, trying to get herself together. "Don't  apologize, it's not your fault", I told her. "Except it is, I hung up on  you without permission and I made you come here." Her hands found her  hair again, and she resumed her pulling.

"Honey, stop that  please", I told her softly, not wanting to upset her more. I gently  pulled her hands away. "Noo..." she whined, tears threatening to escape  once again. She was getting tired and more sensitive and emotional.

"You're  hurting yourself", I told her. "I deserve it, I was bad", she mumbled.  "You weren't bad. Yes, hanging up maybe wasn't the best idea, I could  have helped you, but it wasn't your fault at all, I pushed you too  much", I told her.

"You don't deserve to be hurt, you deserve to be happy and loved, pain-free", I told her and she shook her head. "No I don't..."

"Yes  you do. End of story", I told her sternly. Her eyes shot up. "Now, you  have to rest, you're clearly exhausted. After that, we're getting you  some food", I told her, my voice softer again. "You can leave you know,  you don't have to stay", Nova told me. Her eyes went down to her lap and  she started fiddling with her fingers.

"But I want to stay", I  smiled, putting one finger underneath her chin, lifting it up so that  her eyes met mine. I used my thumbs to gently wipe away her tears. "Can I  give you a hug?" I asked, not wanting to overstep.

She just  nodded. I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around her again. She just melted  into me, her head nuzzled itself into the crook of my neck. "Rest", I  whispered before kissing the crown of her head.

"I'll be here  when you wake up, I promise." I leaned back against the wall so that  she was in a better position to rest. Her hands found my shirt, gripping  it tightly once again. Her eyes closed and after a few minutes, her  body relaxed as well.

I used one hand to mindlessly play with  her hair while she slept, while I texted Miss Riley with the other one. She was  worried. I assured her Nova was okay and safe, just tired. I spent some time on my phone while Nova slept, just replying to some messages.

After about an hour I got bored, so I put my phone away and put all my attention to the sleeping beauty in my arms. Her chest rose slowly up and down, she looked so peaceful. Her hands hadn't let go of my shirt, I think she was afraid of me leaving her, which I had no intention to do.

I continued combing my fingers gently through her hair, and my mind started wandering. Where was she going to stay tonight? I obviously wanted her to stay with me and Robbie, but I didn't know if she wanted to stay here at the orphanage one last night.

——————————————

Heeeyyyy....
Sorry abt the last few chapters, but I feel like this book was in need of some drama xD

I hope you're doing ok, stay safe <3

Love, Frida xx