𝐼'𝓋𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 [ Adopted by Elizabeth Olsen ]

Chapter 41: "The urge"

Well, the title would mean something very different if Nova was a couple of years older...

Also, let's just appreciate this pic of Lizzie for a moment ^^^^

⚠️TW:⚠️ mention of blades

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We eventually made it to the house. Robbie and Lizzie carried all of my stuff inside, despite me trying to argue. It was my stuff after all. I ended up being allowed to carry my backpack though.

My mind was still scrambled and overwhelmed so I just kind of followed them silently into the house which was apparently my new home now. We took our shoes off and carried my stuff upstairs to my room.

"Do you want some alone time in your room to unpack if you feel like it?" Lizzie suggested and I nodded. "Some alone time would be great thanks", I gave a weak smile. "Of course darling", Lizzie smiled. "We'll be downstairs if you need us, take your time."

They eventually left and I flopped down on my bed. What now? What was I supposed to do?

I figured I had nothing better to do so I started unpacking. Soon my clothes were in the closet. They didn't even fill up a quarter of it. Yeah, I didn't have a lot of clothes, but I was fine with that. I didn't need a huge wardrobe, I had what I needed.

I put my riding clothes in a separate drawer so that the horsey smell hopefully wouldn't transfer onto the rest of my clothes. That's probably going to happen anyways, but a gal can hope.

The rest of my stuff was pretty much just school stuff and random knickknacks. The only object of worth for me was a framed picture of my mum and I. I think I was about three in this picture. It was the only picture of us I had that didn't include my father.

My mum was standing in a field, wearing a floral dress and holding me. We looked so happy. I teared up a bit while looking at it. It brought up a lot of memories that were a bit blurry. I was so young when she was still around, so I can't really remember much of it.

After debating on where to put it, I decided on my desk. I wanted to be able to look at it more. Especially as I had my own room now with (hopefully) a bit more privacy. Back at the orphanage, the kids used to just come in my room whenever they wanted.

Sure, I had my own room back there but I had no privacy whatsoever. I was hoping that Lizzie and Robbie would respect my privacy more than previous foster homes had done.

Another reason I had put it on my desk, was so that I could hide it easily. Either in a stack of papers, inside a book or in the drawer beneath the desk. I didn't need them to see it. it was personal, and what if they didn't want me having it?

Well, I guess that's all my stuff unpacked. What to do now?

I had no clue, so I just flopped down on my bed. I still had to go to the barn at some point today. I hadn't ridden Luna yet, she had just been fed her breakfast. I was thinking about going after dinner, that way I could do some flat-work and then do evening feedings.

My backpack and bag were still just laying on the floor, so I just quickly put them away somewhere in my closet. When putting my bag away, I found something in one of the side pockets. My PRIDE flag and my razor blade. Crap, where do I put these?

I ended up hiding the razor in the bathroom, behind some cotton pads. The flag ended up on the top shelf in my closet (how ironic), underneath a shirt of mine (fun fact, the author here, that's actually where I hide my pride flag, in my closet lol).

It wasn't really dinner-time yet, so I decided on taking the now empty cardboard box downstairs to ask where to put it. I folded it together first and took one last sweep over the room before concluding that I didn't have to take anything else.

The folded-up box in hand, I made my way down the staircase, trying to locate someone. Preferably Lizzie. Well, I wasn't that lucky. I found Robbie standing in the kitchen, stirring up some sort of pot.

He must have noticed my presence as he turned around, surprise coating his features at seeing me. "Nova! Hi! How can I help you?" He asked me sweetly. "I- umm...", I stuttered, suddenly very nervous in his presence.

Then the hero, sword in hand and with a cape; arrived. Lizzie. She appeared in the doorway, her eyes lighting up slightly when she caught sight of me. "Hey, I umm... I-, I was j-just wondering where I'm supposed t-to put this?" I asked, scolding myself for how uncertain that sounded.

Don't show weakness Nova, they'll take advantage of it.

Lizzie gave me a comforting smile, clearly trying to make me feel more at ease.

"We have a space for stuff like that, come on, let me show you", Lizzie encouraged me, exiting the kitchen. I followed her like a lost puppy, occasionally looking over my shoulder to see it Robbie was following us. He wasn't.

Lizzie showed me to a door. She opened it and revealed a small room, filled with lots of rubbish that doesn't really fit in your rubbish bins. Cardboard boxes, empty cans and bottles, and just some other junk that wasn't exactly rubbish, but something they apparently didn't care enough about to keep on display.

I put my box away and glanced towards the bag filled with empty drink cans. It was mostly soft drinks (soda) or flavoured water, but there were a decent amount of wine bottles and beer cans there as well.

So they drink. Fun.

I don't have very good experiences with drunk adults, but at least there weren't a ton of cans. I didn't really like the small claustrophobic space, so I got out of there as quickly as I could.

"Dinner will be ready in about an hour, so you can just chill up in your room if you want to or you can stay downstairs, it's up to you", Lizzie smiled. "I'm warning you though. Robbie gets really annoying when cooking. He starts throwing all these terrible jokes all over the place, so if I were you, I'd stay away for the time being", she joked.

"If he catches you as much as smiling to them, they'll never stop." She was saying it to make sure I knew I had a choice. There wasn't a wrong answer. She was also saying it to try and make me more comfortable with Robbie. To prove he wasn't like the men from my past.

I admired her for that. But, I wasn't really ready to face him, especially after me being a fucking coward. "I think I'll stay upstairs for the time being, I'll stay away from the dad jokes", I joked, not noticing what I had just said.

"Dad jokes huh?" Lizzie teased me, her eyes glowing. "I suppose so", I smiled shyly. "Have fun upstairs, I'll try and survive the dad jokes", Lizzie laughed, emphasizing "dad". I just rolled my eyes playfully, leaving her there.

What did I do the next hour you ask? Nothing. Absolutely. Nothing.

I pretty much laid there, trying to get my thoughts under control. I didn't deserve this. I was unlovable. I wasn't good enough. Why did they pick me? They could have picked anyone. They're famous. They're rich. I'm not. I'm messed up.

I couldn't feel anything. I needed to feel something other than emptiness.

Don't do it Nova.

Lizzie wouldn't like it.

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Sorryyyyy....
Y'all are gonna hate me for the next chapters...
I'm so sorry in advance

But we're not there yet, so I'll just try and distract you for the time being. How are you?

I hope you're doing well and that you're taking care of yourselves. Make sure you drink some water <3

Love, Frida xx