𝐼'𝓋𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 [ Adopted by Elizabeth Olsen ]

Chapter 88: "The decision 2.0"

Once again, I think we all know what's going on

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"Elizabeth, I need you to come here. Hold her, and under no circumstance do you let her lay down, okay?" A stressed mum held Luna as Miriam made quick work of the tubes. Or well, the tube and the IV.

The IV was easy enough, but the tube was a bit trickier. At this point, there wasn't much point in trying to do it in the "correct" way. As gently as possible, Miriam removed the tube and discarded it.

"Nova, come on, start leading her around the indoor. Don't let her lay down."

Just like that, I felt myself doing what I had done a couple of hours ago. Except this time, my heart was heavier. I couldn't do this. When Luna laid down again, my attempt to get her up was halfhearted.

A sound came from deep within Luna's throat. A whinny, but so full of pain it sounded more like she was being tortured. You know the sound a horse makes when it dies in Minecraft? That was it. So horrifying, and it was happening to my horse.

"Novs, you need to get her up!" Ally took the lead rope from my hands as I had just frozen in place, staring at my horse. After getting forced to stand up again, Luna started to struggle walking a bit more, but with Ally forcing her forwards, she at least didn't lay back down.

All I could bring myself to do was watch the absolute agony my horse was in. As much as I wanted to deny it, the fight was slowly seeping out of her. Tears were silently streaming down my face, and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

The next few minutes were a blur, but the next thing I knew was that I was back in Ally's arms. The vet was here and explaining something, She shot me pityful glances in my direction every once in a while, which did nothing to ease the tears.

Everything seemed muffled, but I did make out some words. "Dangerous...surgery...fall over in the lorry...low success rates...expensive...not more I can do."

They were talking about the possibility for surgery. I didn't know much about it, but I knew it was expensive as hell. We had to get Luna there without her falling over on the way there, which was dangerous enough as is. The surgery was dangerous and success rates were low.

And at this stage, recovery would be hard as well. She was so far gone and so weak, her recovery would be difficult. If she even made it through surgery.

Deep in my heart, I knew what had to be done. She had given everything. And it still wasn't enough. But I just couldn't accept it. My vision became slightly more blurry and I could make out a figure in front of me.

They took my face in their hands which first made me flinch but when I recognized the touch, I was quick to calm down. "Nova baby, my sweet girl. Can you hear me?" Mum asked. All I could do was nod. A sense of dread filled my body from head to toe and breathing was getting painful due to it.

"I need you to breathe my love. Nice, deep breaths. We're here for you okay? There you go, good job honey. Keep up those deep breaths and focus on me okay? I'm here." Somehow, mum brought me out of my weird state. Somewhat.

"Now, there's going to be a big decision for you to make. I know it will be hard, but think about what's going to be best for Luna. There is the possibility of surgery", mum explained it to me in a slow, calm tone, but I could hear her voice wavering and her eyes showed nothing but pain.

"S-She can't die", I sobbed, the tears catching up to me again. "Nova baby, deep breaths remember?" Mum reminded me of as my breathing became laboured again. "I think you know about the success rates and the possible complications, but we want this to be your choice. She's yours and you're old enough to make this decision yourself."

I opened my mouth to speak again, but nothing came out. So I resorted to just rapidly shaking my head. Ally held me a bit tighter as my knees buckled. "Let's sit down yeah?" I nodded at mum's suggestion, and Ally slowly lowered us to the ground.

In the corner of my eye I saw Miriam hand Luna to the vet who resumed the walking. She approached us and slowly lowered herself to the ground as well. "Nova, I know this is a big decision and a hard one at that. But look at her. She's in so much pain and has practically given up", Miriam pointed out as she took one of my hands in hers.

"N-No, I-," I couldn't physically form a uniform sentence. "Nova, look at me. Think about it. What does she deserve? She has given you everything these past few years. She has been loved so much. You have loved her so much."

I knew surgery wasn't an option anymore. It was too late for it. She probably wouldn't even make it through it. "I-I don't wanna lose her", I sobbed my gaze shooting in between mum and Miriam.

"I know honey. I have no clue how you must feel, but the same thing as always still counts. The horse comes first, always." Miriam had picked up a few things during the past few years, and she was now the perfect equestrian mum.

My whole body deflated at her words. She wasn't being harsh, but she was being firm. It was what I needed in this very moment. Luna deserved better than to have to suffer anymore. One nod was all Miriam needed to know I had made my decision.

"Emily, get her back in her stable, we'll give the pair of them some time." Miriam's voice softened immediately. Emily nodded and left out of our sight, probably to Luna's stable. My head was fuzzy again, I couldn't quite comprehend what was happening around me.

But what I could comprehend was mum's shock and slight confusion. Clearly, she hadn't quite understood mine and Miriam's little conversation. "So does that mean n-no surgery?" she asked carefully, not wanting to say the other thing that was going to happen instead.

"Yeah. It's what she deserves, she has fought her fight. The surgery is also too dangerous with many complications."

I was helped up by someone, I don't know who, maybe it was Ally. Everything just felt so surreal. This couldn't be happening. Stumbling slightly, I made my way over to Luna's stable. There she was. She was all I could focus on.

To no ones surprise, she had laid down. Probably the second she had been allowed to. I could see she was struggling to even keep her head up. Scrambling out of whoever's arms I had been in, I rushed to Luna's side and managed to catch her head in my arms before it fell to the ground.

A half-hearted whinny, the same as before, but now with less fight behind it escaped Luna. "No, Lulu", I sobbed as I once again crumbled, this time with my back against the wall and her head in my lap.

Her oh-so-soft eyes stared into my soul as they had done so many times before. Except for this time I saw none of the tenderness I always saw in them. All I could see was pain, and the silent plea for me to let her go.

"No, please, don't leave me..."

My words came out weak and Luna eventually broke eye contact and looked at something else instead. But my gaze stayed on her eyes, the emotion they held. And as I stared into the eyes of my heart horse, the truth hit me like a freight train.

There would be no more chill mornings with Luna. There would be no more gallops along the fields with Ally. There would be no more laughing as Luna tried to eat my hat or jacket.

The feeling of calm, what drove my anxiety away would be gone. Forever.

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Hellooooooooo

I'm terribly sorry for missing the update yesterday, I was busy and SOMEONE (you know who you are) didn't remind me, so yeah

Again, I'm sorry and I hope you at least somewhat enjoyed the chapter <3

Love, Frida xx