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Sherlock - Sherlock

There was a point where I had been with Jim. We were together, and he had convinced me that he cared about me. But in the end, I found out that it was all just a big lie. He had used me to try and get information on Sherlock. He didn't really care about me.

I had been avoiding everyone for the past month. I wouldn't talk to anyone, I would barely leave my flat unless I actually had to, and I didn't really have any other choice. I just didn't want to deal with people. And I definitely did not want to risk running into Jim.

I had already spotted a couple of Jim's men a few times. Once at the grocery shop. Once at a book store. And once outside of my apartment. It's like Jim was trying to tell me that he had his eyes on me, like he was watching me.

I had recieved several texts from both Sherlock and John. It was evident, to me, at least, that they were worried about me. I couldn't really blame them for being worried. I wasn't usually the type of person that pulled away from other people when they're upset. I didn't understand why they were worried about me, specifically. Well, I understood why, but, I just didn't know why. I never really felt like I was worth worrying about.

My phone buzzed, yet another text coming in. This time it was from Sherlock:

Sherlock: Come to 221B Baker Street. There are some things that we need to discuss.

You: I dont feel like seeing anyone.

Sherlock: You come over here, or I'll just go over there.

You: Then do that. I'm not getting up.

Sherlock: You'll have to eventually.

You: No, I won't.

I set my phone down. I wasn't all to happy about the fact Sherlock was being so persistent in needing to see me. I couldn't understand why him and John wouldn't just leave me the bloody hell alone. Jim would, he respected my boundaries when I wanted to be left alone, or maybe he just didn't care enough to try and break my walls down.

The thing was, I wanted to hate Jim. I really did. I wanted to hate him with every single ounce of my being. But I just couldn't. Despite all of the awful things he had done to other people, and the way that he broke my heart, I didn't hate him, and to be honest, there was a part of me that missed him.

Part of me missed Jim. Part of me wanted him back in my life. There was a part of me that actually thought that I could change him. Part of me thought that he would maybe try to be a better person. But, he won't change. After all, the devil doesn't bargain. Some people are just to far gone.

Some people can't, or won't change. Some people are unwilling. And, although Jim had tried to convince me that he was going to change, to be a better person, I knew it was a lie. Time, and time again, he just proved that he was never going to change. And I was a fool to ever think that he would.

There was a knock at the door. I figured that it was most likely to be Sherlock, since he had told me that he was going to drop by.

"Come in!" I yelled.

The door opened, and Sherlock walked in. He closed the door behind him. "You just, keep your door unlocked?" He asked.

"Yeah" I said.

"That does seem a bit dangerous." Sherlock said.

"Mhm. Probably is. Oh well." I said.

Sherlock walked over and sat down in the chair that was next to the sofa. "What is it?" He asked.

I laid down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. "What's what?" I asked.

"Your behavior. It's uncharacteristic for you." Sherlock said.

"Because you know me so well." I said sarcasically.

"I know you better than you think." Sherlock said.

"I'm sure." I said sarcastically.

"This is about Moriarty, isn't it?" Sherlock asked.

"Maybe. Alright, yeah, it is." I said.

"What is it?" Sherlock asked.

"I miss him. Jim, I mean. I shouldn't. I shouldn't miss him. He's awful, and he hurt me, but part of me thinks I can change him." I said.

"That's, you can't change him." Sherlock told me.

"I know. A foolish notion, I know. I foolish, dumb thought to think I can change him, bargain with him to be different. The devil doesn't bargain after all. He's never gonna change." I said.

"No, he won't. And you deserve better." I said.

"I know I do." I said.

"Good." Sherlock said.