Multi fandom imagines

Sam - Supernatural

I leaned my back against the wall. It was currently three in the morning, and I was unable to sleep. Sam and I were in a motel, as per the usual. We weren't currently on a hunt, but had just finished one up.

Usually at this time, I would be out cold, fast asleep. But, since Dean had died a few weeks ago, it just wasn't the same. I got less and less sleep. I was lucky if I ended up getting an hour or two a night.

I glanced over at Sam, who had managed to fall asleep, which I was thankful for. If either of us were managing to get sleep, I was glad that it was him.

Sam had tried to leave at first, go off on his own after Dean had died, but I didn't let him do that. And by that, I mean everytime he tried, I would lecture him on how we're pretty much all the other had left, and how Dean wouldn't want Sam to be alone.

Sure, I guess it was a bit of a harsh move to pull, saying it wouldn't be what Dean would want. Although, at the point in time, it was the only thing I knew of to keep him by my side.

I glanced back over at Sam, who now appeared to be awake.

"What are you doing up?" Sam asked, his voice sounding a bit groggy and tired.

"Nothing. Just, can't sleep." I said.

I hadn't told him about my troubles sleeping since Dean died. I didn't want him to worry any more than he already was. He had enough to deal with. He didn't need to worry about how much sleep I had been getting lately.

"What? For how long?" Sam asked, sounding genuinely worried.

"Just the night." I said. I was lying, but I didn't want him to know how long it had actually been since I had actually slept.

"You're lying, aren't you?" Sam asked me, still sounding worried about me.

"Don't worry about it." I told him.

Sam sat up in bed and put an arm around me. "You can be honest with me." He said.

I shook my head. "No." I said softly.

Sam turned the light on. He grabbed my face gently and turned it to face him. "Love, you can tell me the truth, please. I just wanna know what's going on." He said softly.

"Three days." I said.

"What? Three days?" Sam said back to me, sounding concerned.

I nodded my head. "I haven't slept in three days. I haven't had a real good night sleep in about a month." I said.

Sam was quiet for a few moments before he had a look of realization on his face. "This is about Dean." He said.

I nodded my head once more. "Yeah, it's about his death. Haven't slept well since." I said.

Sam nodded his head slightly. I knew that he understood how I was feeling. He understood just how much Dean's death had gotten to me. He was my best friend, and he was gone. And Sam knew just how much pain that put me through.

"We'll get him back. I'm still trying to find a way." Sam said.

I sighed. I didn't see a point in trying to find a way to get him out of hell. I didn't think there was a way to, and it just felt like we were hurting ourselves trying.

"You don't want him back?" Sam asked.

"It's not that, Sam. It's just," I said, pausing.

"Just what?" Sam asked.

"I don't see the point. We've tried. Tried demon deals, tried praying, tried looking through different types of lore. And nothing. So why keep trying only to just continue getting hurt and keep being disappointed?" I asked,

"Because, he's my brother. And I'm not ready to let go of him. I won't give up on him, please tell me you won't give up on him either." Sam said.

I sighed. "I won't. Not yet." I said.