Blunt Reviews

❀ 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬 ❀ | 18+

Thoughts:
I'm going to be honest: there's a lot going on here, and some of the things, like sentences, aren't flowing really well. They kind of confuse me because you'll start off with talking about the mafia, and then you'll jump to the other Mafia, and it's kind of confusing for me. Because of the way that you're writing it, it seems like a really good story, and it's really well thought out, but as far as some of the flowing of it, it's just not flowing in my head, and reading it, it does not flow right at all. It's very Mumble jumbled. I feel like you use the word fuck way too much, like every other sentence has the word fuck in it. And though I'm not big on cussing when written right, I can totally stand by it. But I feel like you throw the word around. I can definitely say it does need to be edited because you have a sense that says I'm neutrally responding, shoving my hands in my pocket, and imagining myself going gorging my eyes out so I don't see his horrid face. That whole sentence does not flow or even make sense. I have to be honest; I can't even finish this chapter. There's just too much going on with it. And nothing in my reading flows really well when it comes to the sentences. Is there a lot of cussing or a lot of things that don't flow well with it at all? For me, this is a very hard read, and for something to be very hard for me to read doesn't happen often. But for me, this story is just incredibly hard for me to understand. There is way too much structure that needs to be restructured and sentences that need to make more sense. There needs to be less cussing because, at the end of the day, the F-bomb does not need to be every couple of sentences. You can have a badass character without cussing a lot. That's another thing that throws me off. Some people might like cussing, and there are some audiences that do love cussing.
Personally, I'm not a big fan of it, especially when it's not used in the right contacts. If you want to call somebody an asshole, that's fine you're playing around. My character does it with her brother. She'll call him and ask every so often. Or if you stub your toe and you say fuck that's fine, you stopped your top. Are somebody's just being a fucktard, that's fine they can be one. But sometimes, use the word as much as you're using it. Just throws the reader off because they're not sure if your character is in the character development or if your character is just very immature. For me, I feel like the characters are just very immature, and it makes me wonder if they will ever mature in the character development will ever start. For me, this story is just really hard to read to understand to know what's going on.

Thank you for letting me review your story. 📚

🪷A. D🪷

Percentage:30%

Chapter I read: half of a chapter

Recommend yes/ no? Sorry I wouldn't

Summary of book

Canadian mafia, sounds fatuous and asinine, right? Well it doesn't seem so when they become the highest ranked mafia in the mafia news. Obviously mafias such as the russian, italian, and american are extremely offended as they respectively run second, third, and fourth. The Canadian Mafia likes to keep the enemies they catch like trophies, including Arik Cox. Arik sees being kidnapped from the american mafia as a vacation, just with two people who massively piss him off, Tyler and his little sister Nia. Eventually, Arik's "vacation" turns into a nightmare making Arik realize that every vacation must come to a halt. Little did Arik know that halt will contain romance, violence, lust, blood, and hate._____WARNING: Story contains rape, self-harm, suicidal ideation, physical/sexual abuse, violence, mature themes, sexual content, strong language.

AUTHORS WARNING

Remember that these are, in fact, my thoughts and only mine alone. You do not have to like them or agree with them in any way. But because they are my thoughts, they are final, which means they can not be swayed or changed in any way. If you do decide to disagree with my thoughts and attack me directly in the comments or DM, I will block you and add you to a block list. Therefore, never reviewing your work ever again.

🪷A.D🪷