Blunt Reviews

The Great Pretende

Creativity: 5/15
I feel like there's some creativity, but not a lot. Being a fanfiction, you can always make it your own, but this doesn't feel like it's the owners. It doesn't feel like a story to me.

Originality:5/15
It's not an original story for me, even though it's fanfiction. Because it's about bullying and how the author does it, I've read stuff like that before. How the main character gets bullied constantly has a family member or family that's always looking out for them are. As always, they're so reason to live. But in the end, nothing strikes me as original; it's nothing that strikes me as, oh my goodness, this is cool, this is different, this is unique.

Storytelling:5/15
The storytelling is confusing because they'll be in one place, and then she'll drift off or not, and they will end up somewhere else. It's never set in stone where they're going, or it's never like we started getting our shoes on, and then they drift off into whatever and then somewhere different. There's no flow from one place to another. It's the same thing with the dream. It never flows. And for me, it's just not working because the flow of the story is not a flow at all. It's just very messy. It goes from one thing to another thing to another thing. But there's no flow, so nothing is smooth when it comes to the transitioning off, for example, going to the store and then from the store going back home. In between those moments, you are in a daydream. Nothing like that is happening. It's wildly thrown together.

Character:10/15
I feel like the characters are there, but they are not fully put together. Even as a fanfiction, knowing where your character starts and finishes is essential when beginning a story. With this story, it just doesn't feel like the story or the author knows where to start and where to end. When it comes to each character so, when you're reading it, it seems like a good story, but the characters you're not sure what's going on with. One girl is yelling at God that she's a dream about, and she can't forget about this because he won't let her. Where's the emotion, though? Where is the sorrow, where is the worry, where is the confusion, things like that there's nothing there. As far as the little sister, she's OK because she's tiny. She will develop as she goes, but as the main character, there is no feeling of character development at all.

Story Flows:10/15
There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with the story per se. Everything when it comes to the writing is fine. There's nothing that needs to be edited, and there's nothing that needs to be rephrased, so that's a good thing the story's just jumbled like it doesn't take the time to let you breathe or doesn't take the time to breathe before it transitions to something else.

Cover Design:5/15
I feel the cover seems very interesting and beautiful. It's very blurry, and hard to see the cover's details. You can see the characters there, but you need to either redo it or find a different body. The titles are the great pretender because the wording is not entirely on the cover. But the word the gets cut off

Final Thoughts:/1010
This could be a good fanfiction, and I've read many fantastic fanfiction stories. But the way that this is going, it's not there yet. There is a lot of character development that needs to happen, a lot of reorganizing thoughts that need to happen, and a lot of rebuilding this story needs to happen. And for me, this story is not a story I would ever continue reading because there's just too much going on, and I'm not sure what the story should be about. On top of the factor of, this is a story I probably would not recommend because I think my readers would also get a little confused. I'm not saying quit writing because you should never quit something you love. But maybe go back and reread your story and find like a template online in character build because even though it's a fan fiction story. You can still make it original; you can still make it your own. But for now, it's not cutting it

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Chapters I read: I1

Total points:50

Summary of the book:

Jewel Park is a protective and caring sister to her younger sister, Jihyun. Born in Korea but decided to leave after their parents' divorce.Since then, she always had a happy mask on her face wherever she goes. Now, she finds herself returning to the one place she least wants to be, only to meet a guy whose habit is insulting others, who thinks highly of himself and will do everything to destroy all the defenses she tried so hard to build all her life.

AUTHORS WARNING

Remember that these are, in fact, my thoughts and only mine alone. You do not have to like them or agree with them in any way. But because they are my thoughts, they are final, which means they can not be swayed or changed in any way. If you do decide to disagree with my thoughts and attack me directly in the comments or DM, I will block you and add you to a block list. Therefore, never reviewing your work ever again.

🪷A.D🪷