Running Scared

57. Change

Elisa's P.O.V

I woke up screaming as another nightmare assulted me.I was sweating and panting.

I was finally in my bed, in my own room with the same baby pink blanket to cover me up. But none of it provided me any kind of comfort like his arms.

No Elisa. You will not remember him. You will strike him out of your life. This is your new chapter of life. And it involves with you forgetting he ever existed just like he has about you.

My inner voice explained to me again. It was explaining this to me for the nth time but it was my heart who always remembered him and then cried.

No no no! I can't let this happen.

The door didn't burst open this time because I had said to Kate that she doesn't need to stick around me after she came for 5th time.

Yes, my nightmares have woken me up for 5 times and it's only 6:00 am in the morning.

I used to be a deep sleeper, no one was able to wake me up because I loved sleeping but now I'm scared to sleep. I know if I close my eyes then another whip will be remembered, another echo of my scream will ring out in my ears.

I used to have this type of nightmares before he took me but at that time only my brother's face would be flashed in my dreams and not the man I love.

Fuck.

Only the man I used to love.

I rubbed my face and wiped my tears.

I got out of my bed and went to take a shower.

After I came out it was already 6:30. I donned on my good ol' long skirt and half sleeved dark blue top.

Yup, back to old self again.

But as I was drying my hair, I looked at my whole self and my inner voice said:

Elisa if you're starting a new life then you gotta start with a new self. If you keep treating yourself like the old Elisa then you won't be able to move on. You should get more guts, the only way if you don't want history repeating itself is to change yourself as well.

My inner voice was actually right. As I looked at my face I realised that I could be called pretty. My auburn long hair contrasting to my creamy fair complex and black eyes.

Yes. I am pretty.

I don't need to hide myself.  I should change myself.

I went out of my room and came downstairs to the kitchen.

I picked up the wireless landline phone and dialed the number that would help me change myself.

"What the f*ucking hell is wrong with you?"

"Good morning to you too Caroline." I mocked her.

"Elisa? I must be dreaming. Elisa and early morning is a poisonous combination to the ears of person within 5 miles of radius to your bed." Caroline said now fully awake.

"Haha. Very funny." I said. Note on sarcasm.

"This better be good Elsia because I'll literally do some voodoo on you if you just called me this early to say good morning." Care said. She told me that she was a witch once we put Olivia to sleep.

I was glad that she had her own powers to protect herself if anything.....

No! Don't think like that Elisa.

"Listen Care, we're going shopping." I said.

I will change myself.

"What! Who the f*ck are you and what did you do with real Elisa? Don't mess with me cuz--"