Don't deny me .. (30 STM fanfic)

chapter 46

The next morning I woke up before Shannon and I glanced at my phone. Fuck! I forgot about last night I held my head and knew I messed up. I would never get to see Shannon.  I felt his hand on my arm and I looked over he was smiling.  Me" hat are you happy for ".  He came over me and said " because I love you ". I touched his face and knew he was up to something.  Me" you ok? ". He laughed and said " yes! Why ".  He kissed my cheek and held my hand. Me" you wanna take a shower with me then? ".  He laid his head on my shoulder and said " why did you fuck him? ".  Me" what are you taking about ?".  He bit my skin and  it hurt.  Me" dick!".  He smiled.  S" I'm gonna ask you again..... Why did you fuck him?".   I stared in his eyes and caved.  Me" I'm sorry ".  S" was he better than me? ".  I held his face and said "no baby.... No not even close ".  He kissed my arm and said " do you love me?".  Me" of course I do ".  S" you know what I think? ".  I touched his hair and said " tell me".  S" if you loved me in the first place.... You never would've fucked him ".  He moved away and grabbed his car keys looking back at me he said " I need to take you home..... We need to be away from each other for  awhile ".   I was heart broken. He was right but it hurt. I didn't wanna be away from him.  Me" I love you".  S" you say it but......I don't feel it ".  I followed him to his car. No words were said I felt so low for what I had done to him.  When he pulled up to my house,  I got out and he came behind me up to my door.  I inserted the key and he pushed my body up against the door and put his head on my shoulder. S" its just for awhile ".  Me" its to long to be away from you though ".  S" you will be ok......I have to deal with you breaking my heart ". He kissed my cheek and got in his car driving away. He didn't say I love you. I hurt him , I didn't know if he was coming back.