Lihim -Thranduil

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(Requested by someone on Tumblr!)



"Not this again, (Y/N)," Thranduil said, his voice warning you to drop the subject. "Why must you bring this up?"

"Because I think we must talk about it!"

"You already know my answer to that." Thranduil massaged his forehead, trying to to hide his frown. He didn't want to upset you by unleashing his anger.

You sighed in frustration. Clearly he doesn't understand. Of course he doesn't. He is King! He gets what he wants.

But truth be told, you also wanted what he was fighting for. You didn't want the thing you were telling him to happen. But it needs to be done. You didn't want to be the reason to bring him down. You didn't want to taint his name, his title. Everyone looked up to him. You didn't want them to look down at the King.

"If you will not give me permission to leave, then I shall do it without your notice."

With that, you turned on your heels and made your way to the door. But before you could even get out of the room, a hand caught your arm and pulled you back rather harshly. The door slammed shut and you were pressed against it. In front of you, Thranduil was seething. But it wasn't just anger in his eyes—he was also hurt and confused. His eyebrows fought between wanting to knit together to show his sorrow and wanting to show that he was furious.

The sorrow won.

"Why... Why do you always say that you want to leave me when I see your love, clear as the blue sky in winter?" he asked. His voice was breaking, trembling, and it left your heart in pieces. "Is it for your amusement that you play with my feelings?"

"You know I would do no such thing," you whispered. "You know why I do this."

"And as far as I know, I am not breaking any law! I have a heart, (Y/N), and this heart of mine chose to love twice—chose to love you! I chose to love again. I do not care for trivial things such as what they will say. If you had let me, I would have married you in front of everyone in this realm. But you told me you wanted to keep this a secret so I agreed with you. The important thing was that I could finally call you mine.

"But why do you want to leave all of a sudden? Why bring it up now? Why—?"

You watched with an aching heart as Thranduil, the great Elvenking of Mirkwood, struggled to form the next words to say. It was rare to see him like this. Always he knew how to hold himself with grace and authority. But now he was in a daze. He was so hurt. Thranduil was sad at the fact that even though the both of you are already married, you still didn't want to let anyone know about it. But he tried to accept it—at least you were his. And Thranduil would swear that the night you told each other your vows he could feel how much you loved him.

What has gotten into you now?

He was about to say something, to tell you that he won't let you step out of this room. But as he met your eyes, the words vanished when your tears started to fall down your cheeks. Thranduil's anger vanished and it was replaced by the desire to stop whatever is hurting you. His hands, pressed earlier against the door on either side of your form, hurriedly cupped your face to wipe away the proof that you were indeed hurting.

"I am scared, Thranduil," you sobbed. "I am so scared."

"Of what? Of what they'll say? You know I do not care. No one will hurt you, us."

You shook your head. "It's not just us I fear for, Thranduil. It is no longer just the two of us."

Thranduil froze. "What do you mean?"

"I... I am with a child, Thranduil."

You couldn't look at him while you said it. And that fact made you so ashamed. You wondered what would happen if ever you married someone and became a mother. How would you react? You assumed you'd be the happiest. But right now all you felt was worry about how the others would view the child. And what if it would ruin Thranduil's life?

What about Legolas? He was happy when his father found someone to love. Legolas knew it must have been lonely for his father to be alone in such a long time. But news of having a sibling? What will he think?

Thoughts like these kept you up at night and they were driving you insane right at that moment. You wanted to curl up in a ball and hide away.

But you saw something fall in front of you, something small. You weren't sure if you did see it. You raised your head up a little higher and you saw something fall again.

You looked up.

Thranduil was crying.

"Th-Thranduil?" you stammered. "Thranduil, I am so sorry. This is why I wanted to leave. I didn't want to become a burden. Please forgive me I—"

"Never," Thranduil interjected, "ever say you are sorry for carrying my child, for being someone I love. If you truly love me you will never say that."

"But why are there tears in your eyes if you are not upset about this?"

"Goodness, these are tears of joy!" And to prove that, he let out the smile that was playing on his lips. Thranduil looked so happy and he looked up to try and stop his tears. "I am so happy. You have brought me so much happiness."

Your heart started to feel lighter, as if a heavy burden had been lifted off of your shoulders.

So this is how it was to start a family with someone you truly love.

"This news has given me hope and light," he whispered, pulling you close to him in a warm hug. "I must admit that having Legolas leave for an adventure made me feel lonely. Ah, we should send Legolas a message at once."

But then Thranduil stepped back to look you in the eye. And his blue eyes were pleading, begging you something.

"Please don't leave," Thranduil whispered. "I promise you, no harm will come to you or to our child. I will protect the both of you with my life. I promise I will love you, no matter what they may say. And I will be a good father. Please let me be a father."

You found yourself crying and nodding at his words. With blurry eyes due to the tears, you saw Thranduil remove something from his finger. It was one of his precious rings that everyone who knew Thranduil knew about. He always wore them and rarely took them off. To your surprise, he slid the ring onto your ring finger. Before he let go of your hand, he placed a kiss on the ring.

A sign of his loyalty, of his promise.

A sign of his love.

"Now everyone will know who you are. Now everyone will know how much you mean to me."




Lihim

—(Filipino; Philippines)

Meaning: Secret

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