Paalam -Bilbo Baggins

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(Author's Note: this is a tribute for Sir Ian Holm who portrayed Bilbo Baggins in the Lord of the Rings and part of The Hobbit.)

There was a loud thud from the inside of the house just before your knuckles knocked on the door. What followed was a series of shouting and cursing and more hurried footsteps. Worried that something must have happened, you pulled on the door and tried to get inside.

But before you could even get in, the hobbit residing in this house ran past you and hurriedly made his way to the front gate.

If it weren't for you calling out to him, he would have jumped over the fence and ran across the Shire.

"Bilbo, where are you off to?" you asked, looking with wide eyes at the bag he was carrying and his feet which were clearly itching to be on its way.

But because Bilbo realized it was you who called out to him, he stopped and looked back at you. And even though he was talking too fast, he explained everything to you. It was you, (Y/N), his childhood friend, someone very dear to him. You've always been there to support him and even if he was in a hurry and even if he was going to be late (which rarely happens) Bilbo was going to stop and make time for you.

"I am going on an adventure, darling (Y/N)!" he exclaimed, and you saw how bright his eyes were and how excited his smile was.

You tilted your head slightly and smiled. "Where will this adventure take you then?" you asked.

"Somewhere with lots of dwarves and maybe even elves and wizards," he answered. "Somewhere beyond the Shire. I am very excited for this, very much indeed."

"I can tell, Bilbo." You chuckled and closed the door of his house for him. "You best take care, Bilbo, and I shall be waiting for you to get back home. And when you do, you must tell me everything, alright?"

His smile softened and you were reminded how much you loved him.

"I will, (Y/N). I shall bring home some trinkets if I can."

You watched him go, watched his back and his figure grow smaller and smaller as he ran farther away from you until he disappeared around the corner. Again you were reminded why you loved him and why you never told him you felt.

Bilbo was respected by everyone for how "normal" he is. Nothing peculiar happened to him, but you knew he was itching to go outside and see the world. That was how he was when you first met him. And no matter how hard he tried to deny that he wanted adventure, you knew deep down he yearned for it.

And that was why you kept quiet about your love for the hobbit. Your heart was in the Shire, your life was in the Shire. Although you would love to see the rest of Middle Earth, you wanted to stay put. But you knew Bilbo would someday want to be free, to go and see the world, to make plans, and take risks.

You don't want to pull him down. You want him to be happy.

So you contented yourself in seeing him go, in watching his back as he runs away and leaves you behind.

And that was how it always was.

True to his word, when Bilbo came back he told you everything (except for the ring) that happened. He told in detail the good events and the sad ones and the near death experiences. He described to you Rivendell and Mirkwood and Erebor. While you listened, you knew he'd plan on going back to those places.

And you were right.

On his 111th birthday, he disappeared after his speech. You knew something was up. You knew he had left out some of the details from adventure 60 years ago but you never questioned it. But you knew something was going to happen, so even if your knees were hurting and you were quite tired due to old age, you went up to the path that people going out of the Shore took and waited.

A few minutes later, you saw Bilbo walking and humming a tune.

"Bilbo where are you off to?" you asked, like you had years ago, and you laughed at how his eyes widened at seeing you there waiting for him.

He laughed and said, like he had years ago, "I am going on an adventure, darling (Y/N)."

You smiled sadly at him and nodded. "Where will this adventure take you then?" you asked.

"Somewhere with lots of dwarves and maybe even elves and wizards," he answered. "Somewhere beyond the Shire. I am very excited for this, very much indeed."

"I can tell, Bilbo." You chuckled, stepping aside to let him through. "And I can tell there is no returning to the Shire for you after this."

He mirrored your sad smile. "You are correct about that,  (Y/N). I wish I could bring you home some trinkets but I am afraid that will no longer do."

"You have left me wonderful stories, Bilbo. I will forever recall them. Now do take care and I hope you have a safe journey. If you can, please do send me a letter so that I may know you are safe."

"I will, darling, I will."

You watched him go, watched his back and his figure grow smaller and smaller as he walked farther away from you until he disappeared around the corner. Once again, like how it was years ago, you were reminded why you loved him and why you never told him you felt.

With one last look at the path he took, you turned and walked back to your house.

You never really thought that you'd see him again, but you were granted one last time a few years later when Frodo asked if you could accompany him and the others to go somewhere. There you saw Bilbo again, looking very weak compared to when you last saw him. He offered you a smile but never really talked to you until you reached a dock.

Before he went on the ship, Bilbo turned to you and said, "Once again, I must be going, (Y/N)."

You smiled, trying to fight back the tears. "Yes, you have always been off to another adventure, darling Bilbo."

He chuckled. "I wonder where this adventure will take me," he admitted.

"Somewhere beyond the Shire," you said, your voice cracking. You could no longer stop yourself from tearing up. "Somewhere beyond our lands."

Bilbo wobbled towards you and with great effort, gathered you in his arms. "I am afraid there is no turning back for me. I wish I could still bring you home trinkets and more stories but that will no longer do."

"You are here in my heart Bilbo. I will forever have you here, until I breathe my last." You let out a sob and hugged him back. "Do take care, Bilbo. I hope you enjoy this last adventure of yours."

"I will, darling (Y/N), I will. And I hope you live happily too."

You watched him go, watched his back and his figure grow smaller and smaller as he sailed farther away from you until the ship disappeared beyond the horizon.

Once again, like how it was years ago, you were reminded why you loved him and why you never told him you felt.

With one last look at the path he took, you smiled to give comfort to the three young hobbits left with you and let them guide you back to where the carriage was waiting to take you back to the Shire.

Where there was no longer a Baggins living under the Hill in Bag End.


Paalam
—(Filipino; Philippines)
Meaning: Farewell, Goodbye

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