Together (Sick & Hurt Liam)

Goodbyes (edited)

Wow the resonse from the previous chapter is just amazing!!! Thank you so much!!! Comments like that are what bring me back here so quickly! Without you guys this story wouldn't have made it past chapter 1! Anyways onto what you are here for!

Liam's POV

I stand outside of Ruth's hospital room, hesitating to go in, terrified to go in and see the woman I have called sister in a coma. 

"Li, you have to go in or we have to leave, we have Nicola's funeral to be at in an hour," Louis' reminder brings me back to reality, making me realize I do have to go in or leave. Taking a deep breath with tears in my eyes I open the hospital room door and close it behind me leaving the boys in the hallway, for this is something I have to do alone.

I set the tulip bouquet, her favorite, next to all the others that are on the table not looking at her, scared to look at her and see all the machines hooked up to her, scared that if I do I'll break down right here. Taking a deep breath and leaning against the counter for support, I finally suck up enough courage to turn around. When I do I wish I hadn't.

She lays on the bed, pale as the sheets beneath her, her eyes closed as though in a peaceful sleep but the machines that are breathing for her tell a different story. I stand there listening as the machine takes each breath for her, pumping air into her lungs, the heart monitor is my only assurance that she isn't already dead. The tube that goes down into her mouth brings tears to my eyes. Even over a month after the attack I can still see the bruising of her skin, the healing cuts that will surely become scars, the cast that are on one of her legs and an arm, these details all making it harder to breathe. 

Slowly I step forward and sink into the chair beside her bed, my tears now freely running down my cheeks. I take her hand into mine, careful of the wires attached to her, I run my thumb over one of her fingers tears running down my face and onto our joined hands. 

"I'm so sorry Ruth. This shouldn't have happened to you, my 'fans' should have ever laid a hand on you. I wish I could take that stupid restraining order back, I wish I could take it all back. I would give up being in the band, I would come live with you if you want, I just want you and Nicola back. First mum and dad now you two, I can't do this. Please,  don't leave me here to do this all alone, I still need you, you're my sister. Please don't leave me like Nicola did, please Rue. I'm scared, I'm so scared...Did mum and dad ever tell you I'm adopted? Apparently I am, and I have no idea who my father is and he has even made it clear to me he doesn't want me to look for him...Would you still love me even though I'm adopted?...You know the horrible thing is...I'm not suppose to even be your brother and if my biological father hadn't put me up for adoption you wouldn't even be lying here. You would be off with your boyfriend, you would someday have a family and get married, but now because I am in your life I took that all away from you. I'm so sorry Ruth. You don't have to apologize to me, I'm the one that has to apologize to you. I love you Rue, and I just want you back. Please wake up," I break down tears now running quickly down my cheeks, each tear breaking another piece of my heart as the guilt comes running down my cheeks, along with the fear, and the remorse. 

I sit like that just staring down at her hand, trying to catch my breath and pull myself back together for I have to say goodbye in just a couple of hours.

I kiss her hand before rising to my feet and exiting the hospital room, the tears now ended, but the emotion still heavy in my chest. 

I straighten my suit jacket needing something to drag out meeting the boys' eyes. Taking a breath I look up and their eyes as well show either tears or just numbness. This some how beings me comfort.

We leave the hospital and my sister behind, all of us to somber to even say a word, leaving us alone with our thoughts.

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