Together (Sick & Hurt Liam)

A Letter of Forgiveness and A Letter From The Past (Edited)

Liam's POV

When the first leg of our tour ends we head to Wolverhampton, all of us in somber moods. We all sit in Nicola's house that is now silent, the joy that had use to live here now all swallowed up without her here. 

With it being spring now and already putting it off for so long I have decided to start planning her funneral. The boys had immeditly agreed to help and come with me even though this is our one  break for the next couple of months. 

Looking through caskets, getting different flowers, picking her grave spot right next to our parents, deciding what is going to go on her grave marker and planning a lunch in after the fineral all feels so odd and just wrong. How can I be thinking about things like this when all I can think about is her? The constant phone calls, texts, and even tweets from her friends and our family though reminds me I have to do this for those of us that are still alive. After all an author once wrote that is what funerals are for, funerals are for the living not the dead.

I get up off the couch in my sister's living room leaving the boys there as I walk around the house taking in all the different areas and memories that come with them. Her kitchen is neat and tidy like always, the dishes put away neatly and the counter tops clean of clutter. I head down the hallway peaking in each room. Her office area though makes me freeze as I spot boxes that are all neatly stacked in the corner. I head over to them and find my name written on the top of each one in my sister's neat print. I grab the first one off the top and open it, curious as to what could be inside.

Inside I find a letter on top of things that all had once been in my parents' home, things that all had come to mean so much to me over the years, things my sisters' would have known I would want. I open the letter that is on top and begin to read:

Dear Liam,

You truly have no idea how sorry we are that things have played out the way they have. We both wish we could take it all back, but we can't. So we are going to try to make it up to you the best we can, we understand though if you can never forgive us. 

After that night of the attack and your assualt, we came to realize how much you mean to us. All we ever wanted was your safety, but we stepped over the line, for you are no longer that little boy that was bullied at school and needed our help, you are now a grown man with friends that have come to mean the world to you and a career that you love. 

After the restraining order was filed against us we both went back to mum and dad's house. Some of the stuff was trashed as you can imagine. We spent the next couple of weeks after that packing things up. Anything we thought you would want we boxed seperatly so we could send them to you, knowing that after that night you probably don't want to ever go back to that house. If there is anything more you want please don't be afraid to message us, we'll send it right away.

We love you Liam and we hope someday you can forgive us,

Your sisters, 

Ruth and Nicola

PS. We also found a letter addressed to you from mum and dad. Neither one of us opened it but it is in one of these boxes on the top, just like ours. Whatever is inside we hope someday we can talk about it. 

I tuck their letter back in the box I had gotten it from tears running down my cheeks. Nicola died thinking I hated her. This thought makes me want to throw up. Wiping my tears away I start to go through the boxes, curious as to what might be hidden inside. Family albums from throughout the years, videos, some of my mother's knickknacks, a bottle of my mum's favorite perfume, a bottle of my dad's cologne, some old toys of mine, some family photos that had been hanging on the walls, some family heirlooms, my father's favorite watch, my graduation stuff and other things that have come to mean so much over the years. Finally at the last of the boxes I open it and there just like my sisters had said is a letter addressed to me. I pick up and find that it is yellowed with age, and this alone seems strange to me.