Together (Sick & Hurt Liam)

Night Changes

Liam's POV

It's strange how things have changed. I use to take care of the boys. I was Daddy Direction, but now they take care of me. There was a time when I hated how they hovered and take took care of me, it was fuel to many of our fights, but now I barely protest for I know there is no point, I am too weak to care for myself.

The boys now hover more than ever I don't think I'm ever alone and honestly I do not mind for I fear if they do leave me they may never come back. The would realize just how pathetic I am, realize I am not deserving of their time, that I am nothing but a nusience, somebody they feel obligated to take care of, a charity case.

I never voice these thoughts fearing they will do what Andy did to me, so instead I cling tight to them, enjoying what little time I fear I have.

Lately my days seem to be made up of good days or bad days. Good days consits of staying awake more than four hours, being able to walk around the house the house with a cautious hand on one of the boys' arms, eating and enjoying a full meal, the pain being bareable thoughhout the day and enjoying the happy banter with the boys.

Unfortunatly there are bad days and they seem to happen far more fequently. Bad days are full of pain, I can not stay on my feet for more than five minutes, I stuggle to keep my food down, I fall into a restless sleep for most of the day and I can hear the boys' hushed whispers talking about something they do not want me  to hear. These are the days that make me want to give in and today is no different.

I refuse to lay in the bedroom during the day. So I am spawled out on the couch with a quilt, and several blankets thrown over me. The TV is softly playing in the background everyonce in awhile I can catch the score of the football game. I can hear Zayn and Louis' hushed voices coming from the kitchen, I try to focus on their words but between my headache and the distance I can not catch more than a few odd words that make little sense. 

Niall sits beside the couch excitedly watching the game that plays on TV letting out excited whoops when his team scores. Harry lounges in the chair his legs draped over the arm rest and browsing through Twitter. 

My stomach turns violently for the third time today. I whimper putting my hand on my stomach, hoping it will just go away, but luck is not on my side. I sit up throwing up the contents of my stomach in the bucket beside the couch. The rush happens as usaual, Harry is by my side rubbing my back and helping me stay in a position where I can throw up without getting it on me or the couch, Niall disapears, as soon as I am done throwing up Zayn hands me a bottle of water letting me rinse my mouth out with some of it and drink the rest so I am not dehydrated, and Louis snatches away the bucket to clean it out.

"How are you feeling?" Zayn asks his hand on my back rubbing small gentle patterns.

I don't answer him trying to get my barryings for it feels as though my world is on a tilt making me feel lopsided, every muscles feels as though somebody is pulling them like a rubberband, stretching them to their limits and it feels as though they might snap at any minute. 

"Liam? Are you okay?" Zayn repeats the warmth of his hand and concern of his voice bringing me back and strengthing me enough to respond.

"Not doing too good," I reply my voice trembling. I fall back onto the couch, laying my head across Zayn's lap. 

"Li, do you want to go to bed? It's seven and honestly you're having a pretty bad day. Maybe you should lay down and get some proper sleep," Zayn replies his fingers tracing my hair outline with his fingertips, the feeling bringing comfort to me. "You're burning up, Li. Come on let's get you to bed," he whispers softly.

"Kay," I reply taking Harry's offered hand and sit up. 

"Li, do you want one of us to carry you, I don't really think you should try to walk there right now you really don't look okay," Harry says his hand on my back beside Zayn's, his green eyes full of concern.