Together (Sick & Hurt Liam)

Numb (Edited)

Liam's POV

"Liam! Liam! It's time to get up!" Niall yells jumping on my hotel bed.

"Mmm...five more minutes?" I plead burrying my face futher into the pillows.

"If you don't get up now, Zayn will even be up before you," Niall replies falling back on the bed beside me.

"Alright, I'm up. What's the schedule for today?" I ask getting up and stretching.

"We have an interview in two hours then we have to get ready for the last concert of this tour! After tonight we head out to LA for rehearsals for the AMAs and then after the AMAs we fly out of the US and go home!" Niall cheers rolling off the bed and racing back to where Louis and Harry are watching TV.

"You, sir are way too happy to for this early in the morning," I grumble heading off to the bathroom to shower and get dressed. As I strip down though I can't help but take notice of the new scar on my abdomen. It looks better than what it did before, but it is till red and odd looking compared to the rest of my skin surrounding it. Self counciously I run the tip of my fingers along it, tracing it's entire 12 inches.

The fact that it will be there for the rest of my life makes me feel sick. No matter how much time goes by it will still be there, a cruel reminder that a part of me was taken away. Blinking away tears I turn on the shower anxious to have the warm water running down me, hoping it will provide at least some comfort.

I let the warm water run down me and as I stand there my mind begins to wonder. A week from today and I'll be going home. Home to a house I once shared with a woman I loved, home to where I have to face the fact that my parents are really gone and that I will never be able to just stop in to see them anymore. Soon the warm water is mixing with my salty tears. I should not be afriaid to go home this is ridciculous. 

I quickly wash and hop out deciding maybe time alone to think really is not the best thing right now.

After getting dressed I join the boys out in the sitting room to eat breakfast. The sight of the food makes my stomach turn into little knots. I know there is no way I'm going to be able to eat a single bite, but if I don't the boys will grow suspicious and worry...I have to eat something. 

Sitting down beside Harry I grab a piece of toast off the stack and settle back into the couch joining the boys in watching whatever strange reality show they have decided on watching.

I pick a the piece of the toast absently. No matter how hard I try I can not get myself to focus on the TV show or the boys' conversation. My mind keeps going back to going home. I'll have to face Andy and Daisie, I'll have to accept the fact that I live alone again, let the fact that my parents are really gone and that I never got a proper good bye, I'm going to have to face my sisters after weeks of avoiding their texts and calls well on tour...it all makes my heart ache and stonach turn. There is no way I can do this. I can't go home, I'm not ready, I'm not ready to face how much has changed since I left.

I watch the boys joke and talk my heart full of envy. They're happy to go home, they have family to return to, girlfriends to catch up with and friends that won't look at them as if they are now suddenly a different person, a frail person that you have to be cautious with. Never have I dreaded the end of a tour so much.

Unable to eat the piece of toast I throw it in the trash can behind me hoping they won't notice.

I suddenly feel alone for the first time in weeks since I broke down after listening to my mom's last messages to me. They have family to return to, they can't be there for me, till the next tour. I'll have to go through Chistmas by myself, New Years without anybody to celebrate another year with...it all suddnely feels like too much.