1|Independent

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Quick A/N: This is a slow burn if you are here for smut it won't be here as quick as you think anyway enjoy.

It was the year 2016, my mother lives in a different state, it sucks to be living this far away from her, but, she's a terrible person, I have three little siblings and we live with my dad.

I don't think he's happy raising four kids on his own.

My three little siblings aren't his kids but he offered to take care of them because they got taken off of my mother for neglecting and for being on constant drugs with her boyfriend.

He's a normal dad, falls asleep on the sofa watching the news after a long day of work while we were at school.

Snores loudly while sleeping. He walks around with just a shirt and boxes on most of the time.

He's a great dad but... A heavy alcoholic.

If he's not drinking alcohol he's at work, there have been sometimes when he'd yelled at me and slapped me on the face when he was drunk but, that was my fault.

I riled him up talking about how shit he was compared to mum.

I regret it because he's the one that's always been there for me.

I heard him crying that night.

It hurt that I made him feel that way because i'm just a bitch. He didn't deserve what I had said to him.

When I was five I nearly overdosed on my mother's daily medication because I thought they were candy, I ate fifteen of them and spent a whole two weeks in hospital, I won't ever forget the doctor that gave me a teddy.

I'm fifteen now and would still probably do that.

My little siblings spend their time fighting and taking things off of each other.

I can't help but always be mad at them but I'd do anything to protect them. I wouldn't let anything hurt them.

Ryan is mildly autistic, he can do basically anything you can do he's just smarter.

He never listens though, he only listens to what he wants to do.

Avery and Aubriana scream and squeal at each other all day because one has either their favorite stuffed toy or their favorite doll.

Dad is a police officer, he wakes up at five in the morning and is back by the time we get off of the school bus.

I'm grateful for what he does but I can't help but be miserable all the goddamn time.

I miss mum but hate her.

I want a mother-daughter relationship with her but why did she have to put my dad through all of this?

He didn't do anything but love her more than anything would kiss her shoes she was like a Queen to him, she cheated on him with my three little siblings' dad.

My dad walked in on them having sex in his bed.

My dad's reaction was he closed the door and walked out, but he took me with him instead of leaving me behind.

My mother yelled at him for coming home early but my dad wanted to surprise her on their anniversary.

He had presents and flowers for her, I found them stomped on in the driveway before he packed the car with our stuff.

That was eight years ago.

I was six but I still remembered it.

He was angry the whole drive I knew he just wanted to run off of the road and die while driving us away from that pot-filled house.

But he didn't.

He always tells me that if I wasn't here to help him, he'd be long gone.

A lot of the time that makes me cry at night because.

I don't want him to die.

No one wants their parent to die. I don't even if I hated them with my whole life.

I grew up getting spoilt by him because mum never wanted to buy me things or spoil me.

He'd give me everything I wanted.

Then my mother had her first son, he's the oldest out of my little siblings. My mum was pregnant with him when my dad caught her with her now-boyfriend.

A few months later he was born.

I thought my mum was just fat but turns out there was a whole ass child in her.

Two years and my little sister was born than not even a year later another girl was born.

My dad went to take me to go visit them he saw how unwell the kids were treated and demanded the court to take the kids and give them a better life.

She had to go to prison for a while because of drugs but I forgot how she got out.

My dad is older than my mother but she looks twenty years older. She's extremely skinny now and unrecognizable.

I haven't seen her since she tried getting her boyfriend to rape me.

She wanted to record it, he was on top of me but before anything else happened my dad walked in and half-killed the man before throwing him into a cop car.

My dad almost lost his badge for doing that but also earned more respect for protecting me.

I was that kid that said my dad was my hero on that shitty questions paper in grade four.

He still is my hero.

I was also that girl that still called her dad daddy, people made fun of me for it but all I was doing was calling my dad.

I didn't understand why people made fun of me for it until my best friend explained something to me.

So I stick with dad now.

I remember how my mum would treat me every time my dad dropped me off for the holidays.

Her boyfriend would do weird things like, sit on the end of my bed at two in the morning, or the time he tried to actually put his hand between my legs.

I remember this one time I was helping him put my new bed up and he told me to test it so I did.

I did what he asked and I laid on the bed he told me to put one hand in each corner and my legs in each corner at the bottom then went to put his hand between my legs and when I got a reaction out of me he moved his hand away before doing anything and said.

'I was only kidding'.

I didn't realize how bad it was until I hit puberty.

We are moving schools today, it's one where it goes from kindergarten all the way to grade twelve.

It's quite a small school for how many grades are there.

It's next to a caravan park and looks old like something from a horror movie, wouldn't be surprised if someone had died there.

The grass doesn't look mowed and I notice one of the windows is broken.

The office just looks like an old shack in the woods.

I mean this place is closed off it's covered by forest and the road was dirt.

Quite an unusual school.

The reason we changed schools is that our recent one had this explosion in one of the science rooms and now they have professional scientists there to investigate what chemical blah blah blah is going through the school.

All of the students moved to this expensive new school that was on the other side of town and since my dad couldn't afford it we are at this school now.

The only thing I'll miss about my old school is my friends.

But that's it.

The teachers were assholes and reminded me of my mother and her boyfriend.

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