Broken Hearts, Severed Limbs (Levi x OC x Erwin)

|69| Use Me 🔴

Warmth. It was the next thing she knew when she opened her eyes and allowed the morning sunlight in. It must have been evening by now. They had overslept, but they didn’t care. They had the entirety of that Saturday to rest, and it was the same for all other soldiers and officers of the Survey Corps. They were both in the very same position they had lied in a few hours back.

Nathalie didn’t know what to think. She didn’t know how to feel. His arms around her were so warm and welcoming. His heartbeat beneath her ear, steady and soothing. His touch, his scent, his skin, all so familiar. She could never have that familiarity, that closure with anyone else. She couldn’t muster the courage to open up like this to anyone else.

And then she thought of Erwin, and at what she had done the night before. It felt like a heavy guilt on her shoulders. A heavy burden. She should probably tell it all to Levi. She couldn’t keep it in. But then she remembered what had happened between her and Levi. She remembered what he had done to her. How he had used her like this. No. He hadn’t used her. At least, he didn’t mean to.

Or she was just making excuses for him. Nothing was going to change. His possessiveness wasn’t going to tumble, and she didn’t know whether she should be sad or happy about that. She just loved him so much. She had convinced herself that it was him and nobody else. There’s nothing better for me out there. She was sure of that. It was just Levi. He was the centre of her world.

She believed that. She believed it wholeheartedly. It was so unhealthy, but she knew it. She didn’t care. She loved him. Desperately. Nathalie only buried her face in his neck a little bit more, and her hands slightly tightened around him. Even in his sleep, he noticed it. His arms brought her a little closer. She knew he loved her. A sickening, mad, obsessive kind of love. She didn’t care. She was going to take it, and she was going to test her limits. She wanted to see how much she could take.

I have nothing without you. What was she supposed to do after he told her that? Could she really keep being mad at this man? Her husband. Her lover. Her best friend. He was so many things to her, and he confessed she was many things to him too. How could she not forgive him after that? Her heart just ached so much for him. Maybe she was just as desperate and as obsessed with him as he was with her.

Nathalie chose to close her eyes. No headaches, no blood in her mouth anymore, no burning pain in her throat. Peace. Just peace and quiet in their shared room. Nathalie sighed contently. Her cheek pressed against his bare shoulder. Her nose nuzzled in his neck, tickling him slightly. He could feel the soft, warm brush of her breaths traveling down his skin.

His hand was slightly numb from having her body resting on top of it for too many hours, but he couldn’t let go of her. He didn’t want to. He just wanted to hold her, and he could never get enough of that. He had almost pushed her away. He had almost lost her. What a moron. What an utter idiot. He couldn’t believe he had allowed himself to get so close to losing her. To hurting her.

He was never going to allow that ever again. He knew she had woken up. He could tell from her breathing. It wasn’t as steady as it usually was when she was asleep. She didn’t clutch on him like that while asleep. He knew her so well. A hand was resting flat on his chest. He pulled it in his own, and he brought it up to his lips, pressing kisses on her soft palm.

She giggled. It brought a smile to his face right away. Screw it. He was going to smile. Why shouldn’t he? He had her. She was there. She was his. She pulled her face from his neck and she looked up at him and he looked down at her. Their eyes met. She had a smile on her lips. He pressed another kiss on the palm of her hand, and she cupped his face. Her soft thumb brushed warmly across his cheek, but he didn’t let go of her hand, supporting it on his face.