Broken Hearts, Severed Limbs (Levi x OC x Erwin)

|109| So Close Yet So Far

He didn’t know how long it had been since the last time he was sitting there like this. Levi had settled a chair nearby her bed and he was sitting down. He had taken a book to read to spend the night, but he just couldn’t pay any attention to the words that were laid down on the pages. All he could focus on was her. Her black hair were messily smashed between her head and the white pillows that Hange had settled beneath her head. Soft breaths escaped her nostrils. Her eyes, closed.

He had seen the scars when he changed her into her gown. He had seen the bruises that were undoubtedly laid down on her skin by injections and needles and tubes. Parts of her skin were cut and scarred and replaced with a material that he had never before seen. She had more scars than he had. Her wrists were bruised. Her legs were bruised. And yet, they were still putting cuffs around both wrists and legs, only deepening the bruises and creating a dark purple mess on her white skin.

She was paler than before. Her body, too thin. She had lost so much weight, it genuinely worried him. Did she not eat at all during her time in Marley? And he’d never forget that look in her eyes. She was so determined to kill him just a few hours back. Her eyes were no longer that bright blue that he had fallen in love with. It was a terrifying dark crimson that he had never seen before on anybody. Her nails, large and pitch black and rough and able to cut through anything like the nails of an animal. She was so strong. Her body may have looked so small and thin and weak but she was so unnaturally strong. If he wasn’t an Ackerman, he wouldn’t have been able to restrain her. They had really made a monster of her.

Levi pressed his elbows on his lap and buried his face in his hands. He rubbed his aching forehead. He was tired, but he couldn’t afford to sleep. Not now that he had found her. He had refused to leave her side. If they were really planning to lock her into a room like an animal in a cage, then he’d stay in that cage too. There was no way he was leaving her alone in there. So he was right there, locked in that room with her till morning would rise. He had barely convinced Hange to give him a spare key that he had tucked in his pocket. The lights were on and he had decided to keep it that way.

She could attack him any moment. He kept his guard up, but part of him refused to believe it. His Nathalie wanted to kill him. She wanted to attack him and slice his throat and she would laugh at the sight of him bleeding to death.

He didn’t want to believe that his Nathalie wasn’t there. After three years of being utterly desperate to find her. He had found her now, but she wasn’t really here. She was right there on the bed just a few inches away from him. But she wasn’t there. 

So close yet so far from his reach.

It broke his heart. It really did because he didn’t know whether she’d be coming back. He didn’t know whether Hange and Moblit were going to bring her back to him. His hand reached for his shirt. He pressed his fingers on top of that bump that her ring made beneath his shirt on his chest. He had it tied on a rope around his neck for so long. He didn’t know when he’d get the chance to push it up her finger. He didn’t know if he’d ever get that chance. He had never taken off his own. Not even when everybody was positive that she was dead. Even if she had, he would refuse to take it off. And he hadn’t, not once ever since the day they got married.

He thought back to that day. It was a wonderful warm morning. No dresses, no suits. Just you, me and our brats he had told her. He was so happy back then. He had broken her heart so many times afterward, but she never left him. His Nathalie loved him. His Nathalie longed for his touches, his kisses, his arms around her.  

He wanted to lie beside her. He wanted to pull her in his arms and have her nuzzle right there. He wanted to feel the tip of her nose tickling his neck. Her warm, soft breaths would brush down his skin and her arms would be so tight around him. Her fingers and her short transparent clean nails would clutch on his clothes and she’d only want him closer.