|147| "Love Me Truly," - A Choice With No Regrets

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A few moments ago.

"It's so peaceful here,"

"It is,"

A woman's soothing voice came. Eren smiled as he looked ahead. He had a feeling that those two particular people would be more capable of convincing her to come back. So, he stood up, and without her noticing, he left all three alone. Nathalie looked ahead and she saw a woman with black, long familiar hair. She had those same silver sharp eyes that Levi had. She was thin and dressed in a white gown as well and she had soft smile on her lips as she approached her, and no further away, Kenny stood in his younger self. His hands tucked in the pockets of his dark brown pants and he had that cocky little smile on his face that he always did.

But Nathalie focused on the woman, and it just felt like it was Levi's mother, even though, Nathalie had never really met her and Levi would barely ever talk about her. And now, Kuchel dropped on one knee in front of her, coming to her level, with that soft smile on her face that reminded her so much of Levi's. With those silver eyes that searched for her own and Nathalie almost forgot how to breathe.

How the hell was she supposed to face this woman? The woman that Levi loved so much and her death had broken him so much. The woman who loved Levi more than anything, but death had taken her from him, exactly as Nathalie was now allowing death to take her from him as well, even though, she had the choice to go back. Nathalie gritted her teeth and she shut her eyes, and she remembered the night that Erwin had kissed her and she had let him. She remembered during his last dying moment that she kissed him again. She remembered Zeke kissing her. Dammit. She had hurt Levi too so many times. Those two just kept hurting each other, and part of her just knew that staying dead was going to be better for them both, even though, it was a selfish part of her that wished that. Goodness, she had children, and she knew she should go back.

Nathalie shook her head and she looked down, terrified of staring at Kuchel in the eyes. "I... I hurt him so much... I'm so sorry," Her tears came rolling down her cheeks and she raised her hand to wipe them away but Kuchel cupped her face and wiped them for her. "I- I was supposed to be there for him... I- I was supposed to love him and fill the voids that you two... that everyone left in his life, b- but I just... I failed..." She wept against her hand as the other supported her little girl against her.

"But he hurt you too, didn't he?" Kuchel asked and Nathalie pulled her hand away and finally looked up at those silver eyes, filled with sympathy, and affection. "My darling," Kuchel smiled at her and cupped both her cheeks. "Levi loves you so much. No matter how much you hurt him, he loves you. No matter how much he hurts you, you love him. None of you has failed in this relationship,"

"I'm afraid my sister's right," Kenny sighed as he sat beside her and passed an arm around Nathalie's shoulders. "Like always," He grinned. "Oi, Nat, stop being a freaking drama-queen and go back to your kids," He tapped her back gently and Nathalie sighed heavily. She let her head roll back against Kenny's shoulder and she closed her eyes.

She had to go back. She had so many things to do. Furlan and Isabel were waiting for her. Eren, Connie, Sasha, Jean, Mikasa, Armin, Hange, Moblit. They were all waiting for her. Levi. Levi was waiting for her. Her babies were waiting for her, but just the thought of letting this repeat over and over. That endless circle of him hurting her and she, hurting him. Just the thought of it... Nathalie sighed, her eyes, barely open, half-lidded. She felt the exhaustion washing over her again. She felt the energy draining from her body and the hand that had been holding little Kuchel all these hours, began to ache.

She merely rested little Kuchel in her lap, and her arm only supported her little head now. "I'm so tired," Nathalie spoke softly, her voice barely a whisper. She needed to rest. She had tried so hard so many times before to get here. To reach death close enough to rest.

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