Loving the Fighter

105

Jax's POV

"I had another night mare last night," I say, catching Andrew's attention. We had been sitting in silence for the past few minutes, seemingly having an easy day until I decided it was best for me to say some thing about it.

"What was it about?"

"That's the thing; I don't remember all of it but I always remember nightmares."

"Maybe Carter took on parts of the dream as the protector. Or he's hiding the memories as a trauma holder. What part of the dream do you remember?"

"My dad was yelling at me about a fought I lost. Liam had showed up somehow. My dad was about to hit him like he was going to hit Ryder in the dream I had a while ago but then it was like the dream ended but I can tell that it didn't."

"Have you asked Carter about it?"

"He only tells me not to worry about it."

"He's doing his job as the protector then." I can't help but frown at that. I didn't want to Carter to take on my problems like that, even if it was 'his job'.

'What happened then? Why won't you tell me?'

Because the last time I didn't save you from a nightmare you almost had a panic attack. This one was pretty much the same one as the other one only with Liam instead of Ryder. It would have been just as bad if not worse.

I can't help but frown at his answer, knowing damn well that he was right.

"He said it was pretty much a remake of the one I had about Ryder but with Liam. He didn't want me to have a panic attack."

Andrew nodded sadly, letting the comfortable silence fill the air again, waiting for me to decide what we talk about this time.

I didn't want to keep putting Carter through this if I didn't have to.

"Would nightmare medicine help Carter too? Like he wouldn't have them either?" Andrew only nods. "And the same if I did the anxiety ones?"

"Any medicine you take will affect him to. Do you want to try the meds again?"

'Would you be okay with it if I did?'

I would love if you took them to be honest. It would be nice to not have to be anxious about going to sleep.

"I guess I do," I say with a small shrug making a smile form on his face.

"I was really hoping you would come around to them," he said as he opened a drawer before pulling out two prescription bottles with my name on them. " I really didn't want these going to waste."

"So you had a prescription made just in case I came around?" Andrew shrugged again.

"I knew that if you ever admitted that you needed it then the situation must have gotten dire and waiting for the prescriptions to come in would make it a lot worse." He said as he looked back down at the meds before handing one of the bottles to me. "This one is the Topirmate, you said you had been on it before. We're going to start this one at one pill every night about 2 hours before bed." His hand goes back to the other bottle. "And this one is Benzodiazepines," my eyes widen at the name. "Yea I know it's a mouth full. It's going to work by calming your mind and your muscles. This one is going to be two pills every 24 hours."

I can't help but frown a bit as I took the other bottle.

"Now I'm required to ask you before I just give you prescriptions, have you ever had any prior problems with drug abuse?"

"Yea, like I had the kind of money for drugs," I said with an eye roll.

"I know but I have to. Any kids that had aren't allowed to be in charge of their own meds."

I only hum as the room goes quiet again. The only sign that we even had a session was the small smile Andrew had on his face.

"Guess who got on meds," I announced as I threw my bottles at Liam before dropping down in Callum's lap.

"Oh I take this one too," he says as he holds up the anxiety one before putting on my dresser beside Carter's cup.

It had been a few days since Carter tried coffee and since then he's fronted almost every time he sees his cup. Andrew said that his cup was probably one of his positive triggers but that didn't really mean anything to me.

I'm pretty sure the only reason he didn't front right now upon seeing his cup is because I was currently sitting on Callum's lap and while they had gotten better around each other, Carter still doesn't feel overly comfortable around Callum.

"So what are we doing for Christmas?" Ryder asked as he leaned into Liam. "We were kind of fighting last year, we didn't really get to enjoy it."

"Why were you fighting during Christmas," I asked, not being able to hide my surprise. Callum looks away while Liam bits his lip.

"We were going through a rough patch," Callum said after a while. "I wouldn't exactly call it a fight."

"They thought I cheated on them even though I didn't," Liam said as if it wasn't a big deal while he began kissing Ryder's neck. 

"We walked in on him and some other dude kissing in a classroom," Ryder said as he tried to keep a moan out of his sentence. "We both ran out before we could see him knee the guy in the balls."

I only hum.

"So what are we doing for Christmas?"

"I say we do secret Santa," Ryder declared. "None of us have enough money to order anything for all of us and we could have a fun game with it."

"That could be fun but we'll need to pick names soon before it gets too late for shipping."

That's all it took for Liam to jump up real quick and get a piece of paper out of his binder. Soon enough all of our names lay out on the bed while Ryder looks for something to put the names in so we could draw them.

"Does Carter want to do it too," Ryder asked as he ran around the room frantically.

Sure. It could be fun. And as long as you are careful you can draw names from my cup.

"Carter wants to do it, and he says you can use his cup."

"Okay so who wants to go first," Liam asked after he got the names folded neatly and into the cup.

I ended up getting Ryder while Carter got Liam.

I knew the second I read Ryder's name what I was going to get him and I was actually pretty excited to see him open it even if it did annoy me a little bit. Carter on the other hand was freaking out a little bit. He said he didn't know what he was supposed to get Liam and wouldn't calm down until I said I would help him, even if it was technically against he rules.

"I'm excited. It's been a long time since we've had a full house for Christmas," Ryder said as he went back to Liam's lap.

"This is a cabin."

"You know what I meant."

"It has been a while though. The last time we had a full cabin was back before Tommy left," Callum said with a sad smile.

"Does the camp do anything fancy for Christmas?"

"They normally give us better food on Christmas Eve and then a really good breakfast on Christmas day but that's about it. We get off school for the whole week though."

"Well considering the food here sucks I know I'm looking forward to the first bit of good food I've had in 6 months."

"Don't get your hopes too high. I said it was better, not great," Callum said with a small chuckle.

"Well it can only go up from here."

The Q&A is out if anyone wants to go look at it. There's a link to it in my conversations page.

Last updated May 18, 2021