Kingdom

38.Memories (5)

The Princess eats dinner slowly, paying attention to every bite and every sensation it brings her. As if she was not able to see, smell or taste food before.

She puts a red robe over her nightgown and spends all the lanterns in the room except for a small wooden one that she carries in her hand. She sits at the threshold of the room, facing the garden, and places the light by her side. The chilly night wind caresses Nori's face and her eyes close for a moment, welcoming the sensation. The air smells of wood and flowers.

Nori lifts the lantern cover allowing the candle light to shine brighter, and opens one of the adventure books Mira sent her. The scent and touch of paper give Nori the sensation of being at home. Books have always been her favorite escape, her comfort and inspiration, her freedom.

This book is written by a wizard who claimed to have travelled to another world. A world where people can fly in the air and have palanquins that go on their own. Nori has never heard of this book before. The cover is cracked in many places and most of the pages have turned yellow with time. It must have belonged to Mira's parents or maybe her grandfather.

"I never thought I would be happy in this strange world, so different from everything I knew and loved. Yet, it is in this world where I found who I really am and what I truly desire..."

The words sink deep into Nori's heart. She leaves the book by her side and looks around. Outside the small bubble of light that surrounds the Princess, the room is swallowed by  complete darkness.

Nori stays still for a long time, looking into the nothingness. The fantasy about love, the desire for an exciting future, the hope that some magical event will free her from the Palace life - all those illusions have now melted down into the dusk of reality, as a lantern that burns down to its inevitable end. Once that light is gone, only darkness remains. Uncertainty.

Yet, in the dark of night, the sky is full of stars.

The King's world is not so terrible - the Palace is beautiful, the food is delicious and there are tons of books to read. Loneliness doesn't seem as scary as before.

The Princess will fight for her place in this new world. Even if her place is a small, quiet corner, let by the light of a single lantern and a book speaking of another reality. It's her corner of comfort and she will defend it.

Nori has to win the King's trust, to convince him of her loyalty and worth. But there are still doubts lingering in her mind. What kind of man is the King really? Amongst all his contradictions of character, what is his true essence?

How is Nori going to approach him from now on? What is she to say or do?

She remembers their wedding night, every detail and every word. She lets her heart lead her this time, looking at all that happened from a new perspective. All the feelings and sensations she pushed back and ignored are now unleashed.

The Princess's heart noticed details that the mind refused to see: the King was nervous that first night, his hands were shaking at times when touching her. He was cautious, even timid at times. His eyes often avoided her when Nori smiled at him. He was sweet when convincing her there is nothing to fear. Those were momentary slips, cracks in his facade of coldness. But her heart noticed it all. It knew immediately that this is not a mad, and cruel man. It knew him.

The King has a hidden softer side but he is unwilling to show it.

Nori's heart continues to yearn to get closer and closer to that hidden softness. But such desire is treacherous. It could be an illusion that traps Nori in another fantasy. The King is a complex person, a riddle. Nori should not focus on one good quality and forget all the rest. King August is a dangerous and unpredictable man.