Kingdom

118. Nightfall (4)

Amongst the many dresses, Nori picks a blue one. The color reminds her of the magical butterflies she saw in Yoongi's memory. Those creatures brought her comfort in the dark forest. They brought him comfort, too.

She fixes her braid, trying to look more presentable. Yet, she can't stand to look at herself in the mirror for long; her own reflection irritates her. She looks nice. Yet, too simple and plain. Just a spoiled little Princess who used to complain that she cannot go back to her provincial life.

Her past worries seem silly now. She is silly. What did Nori ever do that was as brave as to walk into an enchanted forest? Nothing...

What can she offer to this man? She can neigher love him, nor be the wise and poised Queen she would like to be. She can't use magic as well as Yona can. She can't do anything right recently. Nori is a shipwreck...

She sighs. Even if she is broken, she cannot allow herself to sink. Nori has to keep sailing.

She pictures herself like a lost sailor laying on a piece of wood, being tossed around the ocean. What would she do if she was really in such a situation? Would she give up and let the ocean consume her? Or would she search for the North Star and try to paddle her way back to solid ground?

Things are not going to get any easier. Even if she manages to become Queen, living with this man would always be as hard as to sail on a piece of wood in a vast ocean of uncertainty. But maybe there is an island in the middle of that ocean. A tiny piece of land where she can find rest and comfort. Even if that island is no bigger than a palanquin, that place must be there. For sure it's there.

Nori can't give up, even when she is tired. She can't give up, even when she is scared. She can't give up even when is confused. She can't give up.

She must keep paddling...

---

The bright sunlight blinds her as Nori steps outside. She blinks a few times to get used to it. It's not as late as she thought it was. She must have been asleep only for an hour or two. It definitely felt longer.

Yoongi is sitting on his cushion under the shade of the chestnut tree. The courtyard is silent; no one else is in sight. Nori goes back into the room to fetch herself a cushion. Her hands won't stop shaking.

Why did he have to learn about her magic sensitivity?

He didn't have to know about it. And if he had to know, Nori wanted to be the one telling him. She is now robbed of this opportunity. It feels like he caught her half-naked as she was changing her clothes; as if he saw her before she was ready to be seen by others. It feels terrible.

Yoongi must feel similarly bad. He didn't want Nori to know about the origins of his scar. He wasn't ready for her to know. But that magical river and its terrible timing had to ruin everything. Magic always ruins things.

Hopefully this is the last time they end up in such an uncomfortable situation. Hopefully he won't send her back home.

Nori walks towards him, holding the cushion in a tight grip. With each step her legs become stiffer, as if she is turning into a stone figure. Even in the sunlight, she feels like clouds are handing over her.

She places her cushion close to Yoongi; then changes her mind and pulls it away, placing it at a more respectful distance. He seizes the cushion and drags it back next to his.

"Sit here." he says coldly as if issuing an order.

Nori sits on the cushion and looks ahead. A pair of great tits are jumping around the courtyard, tweeting merrily. If only Nori can be as careless. If only she had wings to fly away to the other side of the world. But she is stuck here, in yet another tricky situation.