Kingdom

48. Truce (5)

Nori wakes up startled. She finds herself laying sideways on the bed, something warm and firm wrapped around her. The King. His hands are locked behind her back, his face buried in her shoulder. He is crying. Warm tears slide down Nori's neck, tickling her skin. He pulls her closer, hugging her so tightly she struggles to breathe.

"What's wrong?" she asks, alarmed. He hides his face closer to her neck. A distant sound of raindrops comes from outside.

Nori attempts to move but the strong grip of the King keeps her immobilised. Despite the strength of his arms, he is slightly trembling.

"Are you okay?" Nori asks, fear rising in her heart."Please say something."

"I didn't want to do this." He inhales as if trying to catch his breath."But she told me it is the only way."

Nori's heart sinks. Little painful needles pierce her skin.

"I had to act quickly. I had to right the wrongs my uncle had done." His voice sounds hoarse and exhausted. This is not the confident and self-assured voice of the King of Daegu. But the voice of a man torn apart by doubts and regrets. "There wasn't another solution... or I didn't see one."

The emotions Nori experienced during the vision washes over her again. The burning pain that spreads from his hand to his heart. The turmoil and the struggle. She senses it through the magic that spreads around him - the anguish he felt that day is still alive in his heart. Now did he carry it for so long without breaking apart under its weight? How did he survive?

Nori used to think the King of Daegu marched through life without hesitation or a second thought; convinced in the righteousness of his actions, proud of his victories, unbothered by the opinions of others. A man without a heart; whose greed for power is the only force keeping him alive. She thought he was made of stone, strong and unwavering.

How wrong she was, how terribly wrong...

"I should have found another way...." His voice cracks, he curves his neck and shoves his head under Nori's chin. His hot breath spreads over her neck; as an invisible silk veil that wraps around her sensitive skin.

"It's ok, you did your best." she says."It's ok..."

"I didn't want this life." He digs his fingers into the fabric of her robe. "But it is the life I have chosen and I should live it."

"Yes, you should."

"But then why do I only wish to disappear...."His hands lose the power of their grip; his voice drops down and becomes hard to hear. As if his whole presence is fading away.

Nori moves out of his weakening embrace and takes the King's head in her hands. He doesn't protest, fragile and powerless in her arms. She raises his face to look at him. His eyes are red and full of tears; his scar is blemished and swollen as if infected.

Nori's mind turns blank and silent. She sees nothing but his teary eyes, where all the pain in the world has merged into a single tear.

"I sacrificed it all - my youth, my happiness and my humanity." he says, staring down into nothingness. "I did what I had to do even though I ... " His voice trembles, tears sliding down his face and choking him. "I wasn't sure I deserved the throne but I wanted to rule...,I was ambitious..., I was greedy...,I didn't want to keep living in the dirt..., I wanted a better life... I just didn't realise what would be the price to pay...." His voice breaks. He pulls away from the Princess as if her hands burn him. Struggling to catch his breath he covers his mouth with his hand and presses his eyes closed. Tears leak through his eyelids and his body shakes as he weeps.

Sharp, immobilising pain stings Nori's heart. Seeing the King in this state is like seeing the whole Palace collapsing in front of her eyes. He takes a deep breath and turns quiet and motionless.