The Hobbit and LOTR Imagines/Preferences

Important

Do I don't know if any of you red my TMR Imagjnes and Prefs but of not, I've post something called Important, here it is

If one of these following things ever happen to you, please read, if it don't then you can also read

- made your self throw up - starved - took a razor to your skin - felt like your not good enough - thought about suicide - attempted suicide - burnt your self - got bullied - been called ugly/fat etc.. - or harmed your self in any way - cried your self to sleep - been abused

Hello everyone who follows me

I just want to know something about me

What I'll write is not really easy for me to say it and not even easy to write it.

I jut want to make sure also that you knew that it's not to be the center of attention, but it's to pass a message

Before I met my boyfriend, my life was a mess. My father was abusing me, not sexyualy but he was hitting me, almost everyday. My mom was telling me it wasn't true and that my father would never do that. Since I was only 14-15, I wasn't really able to tell my fatrher to stops because I knew he would continues. One day, my mom was out with her sisters and my father was home, my two older brothers were also there. My little sister was at our grandma house. Mick was 18-19 and Cameron was 16-17. They knew that my dad was abusing me and they tried to make him stops but it didn't work. This day I was in my room reading when I heard someone trying to open the door. I locked it since I didn't want my father to enters. But he enters succesfuly into my room. I got scared. Because he was doing this when he was drunk, and he was getting drunk often. My brothers room were on each side of mine. My father took out the book of my hand and slap me on the cheek. I cried of pain because he was hitting me on the same cheek almost everyday. Then he started to left bruises on my arms. I saw my brothers coming and Cameron punches my father in the face since he turns. My father falled to the ground. I was crying because I was scared and because I was in pain. Mick took me in his arms and he called my mother to know where she was ' At Julia's ' she tells him. Julia is one of her sister. So since Mick had his licence, he drives to our aunt house. I was with Cameron on the back of the car. When we enter the house, my aunts gasp. Then my mother saw me. My aunt already know what my father did to me and they tried to tell it to my mom, but she had the same reaction ' No impossible, my husband wouldn't do that and blah blah blah '. When she saw my face it was like if a light opens in her mind ' You were right ' she says. She came to hug me but I din't let her the chance. She looks at me crying. I look at her and says ' If you would have believe me before, maybe it wouldn't happen '. Then my aunt Julia, whose a nurse, help me with my cuts.

Few months after this, I started to cut myself. I almost died because of that. When I wrote the imagine What If You Had Died ? I did it after my story because when I was at the hospital because of the cut I did, it was because I cut an artery. But my brother found me and drives me to hospital as quickas he could. He saved my life. I quickly forgive my mom about deny the fact that my dad could abuse me, but I never forgive my dad for what he done. But simethings, he was continuing. Most of the time, i's just a bruise and more screaming, but he was countining sometimes. Which was why after that, I started to stop eating. I lost weight rapidly and after six months, I started eating again, but not that much. My dad always make me felt not good enough, stupid, not worth anything and it's still the same. Even if I have a boyfriend, I still feel this way about me, and my mom and brothers and my sister know it.

Also at school, I had lot of friends, most of them were guy bu there were also girl that were bulling me, everyday. My friends make them shut up one day, Karl, the first friend I had in this life, tells them that I was abuse at home by my father and it makes the girl stoped bulling me. They were feeling stupid for bulling me at school. The subject was the fact that I was anorexic. Every night, I was crying myself to sleep because of my father and these girls at school. Only my brothers, friends and family understands me, and my mother too, when she finally understands that it was my father who was doing this to me. I tought about suicide once, but never attemped it.

Now that I have Thomas in my life, I'm better. I'm not anorexc anymore. I stopped cutting and my scars are pratically not showing, I'm eating good, I'm not abused anymore. I'm not bullied anymore, because sometimes I sll see the girls in the streets and they don't talk to me. I'm not feeling stupid anymore. I feel important in my brothers life, in my sisters life, in Thomas' life, in my family life. My parents aren't together anymore. They speparated five years ago. My mom has a new husband and they had a child together, a boy named Elijah, he's two years old. Jake, by step father, already had child, he had two sons and a daugther, Jaime, Lea and William. Jaime is 26, he has a child, a boy named Caleb that is one year old, Lea is 23 and William is 21. I'm not seeing my father anymore, well, it don't happen very often. Last time I saw him was six months ago. He was begging me to forgive him ,but I knew I could never forgive him. Thomas and I are getting married soon. I feel better then ever and all of this because of Thomas.

The message I've want to say is that if one of these things (in the list upper) happens or already happened to you, tell it. I didn't and it countinue for two years and half because the person that could make my father stops didn't believe it at first. So everyone please, don't do like me, don't shut your mouth over it and tell it. It's important.

Now that I write my story, I feel better. If you have a story and that you want to tell someone (if you want, i repeat) then you can inbox me your story and I can maybe help you if you need help. If you wanna talk, I'm here and I don't judge anyboy because I know how it feels like.

So now, when I listen to the song 30 Minutes Break of the Luka States, I'm crying because it reminds me of what my father was doing.

xxx Lizzie