The Search Is Over

Chapter 24

Chapter 24: What is Freedom, But A Weight To Bring Me Down

Over the next few weeks, Regulus struggled just to manage his own misery. It was always there, like some unwanted guest, tainting everything he did. Constantly feeling emotionally torn asunder made it not only difficult to function, but also difficult to care about the distractions needed to survive through such pain. Dora suggested they visit a Muggle library so that Regulus could investigate the fictional texts on magic to which she had referred in some of their very first conversations. He knew he should either be intrigued or appalled but it was difficult to feel either when he just felt miserable. He allowed her to drag him to the library, though, because he dared not return to a wizarding one at this point. Being presumed dead meant that he could no longer safely frequent wizarding areas in case it alerted Voldemort and thus endangered his family. He knew that Dora aimed to distract him and he did not want to reject her kindness either. A Muggle library was a place he never expected to visit, yet there he was. He noted in some relief that the library was at least clean. He browsed the history section while Dora went for the books she thought he may enjoy that she referred to as fantasy. She seemed to believe such works would distract him. He fluctuated between wanting to suffer and feeling that a distraction may serve as a necessary respite for his mind. They spent perhaps an hour in the library, and left with several books each. Regulus found a book on European history of the dark ages, and one on classical composers while Dora found four books of fantasy that she thought he should read. All four books formed a series called Lord of the Rings. For his part, Regulus couldn't imagine why a lord needed so many rings if all the books were about them. Either way he found himself morbidly curious as to what Muggles wrote about, from history to magic, so he planned to give them all a try for reasons of education.

Over the next several days, Regulus spent most of his time reading the books. At first it was very difficult to concentrate because his thoughts would wander back to the general sources of his misery. Wondering what Kreacher was doing and how he was, worrying over the Lestranges, grieving his father, being concerned for his mother, then wondering what Kreacher was doing again until he thought he may go mad with it all. At times that shifted to simply wallowing in how much he missed Kreacher or mentally playing over the conversations they could have about Muggle libraries and books were Kreacher with him now. Though Regulus hated to admit it, the Muggle books were intriguing. Perhaps Kreacher would say the books were truly written by wizards, and perhaps they were. Eventually Regulus became less distractible and could read nearly one hundred pages before painful thoughts returned. When not brooding with books in his room, Regulus was practicing his vampiric skills. It was easier than he expected to catch someone's gaze and suggest to them what he wanted them to do, think or remember. Telling someone to follow him, for example, never met with resistance. When he asked Dora how she got money after having to borrow a bit from her to buy Mortis some food, she explained that she took it from her victims. Regulus began looking for bad people with money after that. This made the process of hunting down his dinner take a bit more time but it was worth it. It wasn't as if he had anything better to do, after all. When he found someone both rotten and rich, he always used his newly learned vampiric hypnotism on them to suggest they walk with him to a bank machine and clear out all their money. If they lived alone, he could go home with them and clean them out before ending them then neatly tucking them into their own bed. Many kept money in a wall safe. Other valuables could be sold, and he only had to tweak the minds of those shop owners willing to buy so that they had a different description of the seller in their mind who looked nothing like him. Walking home one day from one such jewelry selling expedition that had made him quite a bit richer, Regulus heard IT blasting from the open window of a Muggle car. IT was electrifying and excited him, making him feel eager and alive in a way he'd never quite felt before. IT wasn't as good as when Kreacher held him close but it was different. It was happy and somehow healing. IT was fast and powerful. IT was Muggle rock and roll music! Frantically he scanned the mind of the driver to discover that it was a group called Journey. When he got home, he eagerly asked Dora where he could hear more music by Journey. She told him that he could buy records and that she had a record player. When he demonstrated ignorance as to how to use such a thing, she sighed and rolled her eyes. Then taking him by the sleeve she dragged him into her music room. It was dominated by a grand piano, but there was a mahogany cabinet full of square folders with pictures on the front and a square machine with a round spinny bit in the middle. Dora explained that the square folders held records, and records had music on them. She explained that the machine was a record player. She drew a round disk (a record) from one of the square folders and placed it onto the record player. She placed a spindle looking bit onto the round disk and flipped a switch. The haunting organ of Bach filled the room. It wasn't Journey, but Regulus also appreciated Bach for his soothing darkness. Closing his eyes, the young vampire let the music from the long dead composer flow around him like soothing water.