The Hookup

Ninety six

The cold breeze hits me like a ton of bricks as I walk out the front doors of the hospital. The sounds of the city around like a megaphone around me. I'm shaking. But not at all from the winter air, but because I just walked out on the most important/grown up job I've had in my life thus far. And don't yet regret it.

Everything around me since I've been back home feels like it's crumbling; my relationship with my parents, my employment.. my relationship. But all I care about in this moment is the latter.

Am I being foolish? Maybe. Am I thinking about what I, myself, want in this moment? What makes me the happiest? One hundred percent.

I don't even know where Hero has been staying since we went our separate ways over a week ago. I hadn't wanted to ask and he never volunteered the information. Because chances are, I would have ran to him for comfort and never figured things out on my own. And not like I have anything let alone everything figured out.. but you get what I'm trying to say.

In this moment, right now, all I want to do is see him. Run to him and tell him all the things that I feel deep down. I know for a fact that I've hurt him more than he deserved in the last conversation we had back at the apartment, but all I'm asking is that he hear me out. I've already done one scary (and highly unforeseen) thing today; walked out of my job. So what's one more in twenty four hours?

As I slip through the crowd of foot traffic going every which way on the sidewalk, I make work to pull my phone out of my back pocket. Wearing gloves and being covered head to toe in winter clothing makes it an obstacle course, but eventually I've got my phone in my hand.

Veering off towards a vacant space between some parking garage and the sidewalk, I lean against the concrete and hold my phone up to my lips. Contemplating my next move.

What if I call him and he doesn't answer? What if he doesn't want to hear what I have to say? Best case scenario, he wants to hear me out and we work through this.  Worst case; he lets me down easy and we go our separate ways.

Shivering, I decide that I can't let those thoughts creep in. That old Josephine that Myra said had changed? That's what she would have done. Yeah, it's only been a week since I've been apart from Hero. But it's a week that I've felt like I've grown the most. The old me wouldn't have stood up for myself when Marvin tried to control me again. And the old me definitely wouldn't have been chasing after a boy. But after everything that I've been through, and dealt with, I know in my heat of hearts that I need Hero by my side.

With one deep breath, I pull up his contact name and number, one of the few I've called in the last few days. His picture is one of both of us. When we went bowling for the very first time. I smile at the memory, recalling that night. And without a second thought press 'Call'.

With it pressed tightly against my ear, my phone rings, and it rings. My heart rate picking up pace. Negative, doubtful thoughts try to creep in with every one that follows but I try my hardest to block them out. All of a sudden, I hear his voice.

"Hello?"

"...hi," I breathe into the phone, I'm surprised I can even say the word through my teeth chattering on this side.

"Hi," Hero says and I can hear the smile in his voice. Can imagine the dimple in his cheek and his green eyes sparkling as he looks down at me.

"How are you?" Is all I can think to say? Suddenly my mind goes in neutral? Like I didn't have this all planned out in my head?

"I'm.."

"Flight 205 will now be boarding to London. Flight 205."

"I'm good, Jo," he says and I can hear shuffling in the background. "How are you?"

My heart drops to my stomach and I hold my hand out to keep me steady.

"Umm.." I look around. The whir of people passing by me without even a second glance the only thing keeping me grounded right about now.

He's leaving.

He can't leave. Not when I have so much to say.

"Where are you?"

"I'm at the airport," he says nonchalantly, which has my body springing into action, hailing a cab from a mile away. "Just going home to see Piper's fashion show for the end of the semester."

"Oh!" I reply, not one bit listening as I manage to flag one down in front of a Starbucks just half a block away. Out of breath and on the verge of a heart attack.

"Where are you?" Hero asks with a chuckle as I give directions to the driver to head strait to JFK Airport and step on it. My phone sliding off my ear.

Once righted and buckled in, I hold the phone close to my ear, "I'm on my way to the Airport and I need for you not to get on that plane. There's something I need to tell you."