Baby Grey (Grey's Anatomy) ABANDONED

One hundred and thirty four

"Hey, how is she?" Owen hurried over to the elevator doors as they opened, but froze in his spot.

Amelia and Arizona were sat on the floor at the back of the elevator, Maggie crying as she tried to get them to their feet. Meredith was just staring blankly ahead, like she didn't even know Owen was waiting for them.

"What happened?" Alex, April and Richard hurried after Owen.

"She was fine, and then she went into tachycardic and then she went into cardiac arrest. We think they were opening her up in the room, but we don't know... We don't know what damage there is," Maggie mumbled.

"Fuck," Alex muttered, running his hands through his hair.

"Someone grab Meredith, and someone help me with these two," Maggie said.

Richard grabbed Meredith, Owen and Maggie helping grab Amelia while April and Alex got Arizona off the lift. They headed back towards the seats, sitting down. Arizona was still crying, as were Amelia and Maggie, but Meredith was just zoned out, staring blankly ahead.

"What's wrong with her?" Alex muttered to Richard. "Her baby sister could be dying, and she's not even crying."

Richard stood up, motioning for Alex to follow him.

"We're going to get coffee," Richard said.

They left the waiting room, heading towards the coffee stand outside.

"When Ellis was still alive, I used to visit her at the nursing home. Did Erin ever tell you that?" Richard said.

"I think she mentioned it, yeah," Alex said.

"Well, sometimes she'd remember more than she had the visit before. And, on one of my last visits, she told me about Erin's suicide attempt," Richard said.

Alex stared at him with a frown.

"What... What did she say?" he said.

"She said that she realised how much she'd hurt Erin when she saw her getting wheeled in. She said that she refused to let anybody but herself do the stitches, even if it was breaking the rules. She said that Meredith didn't cry, not once. She just... Checked out mentally. That's what she's doing now," Richard said.

"Trauma response," Alex said.

"Exactly. She did it with Derek, too, when she told us. She didn't cry once around us. Just... Took off," Richard said.

"You think she'll leave again?" Alex said.

"I don't know. It all depends on if Erin pulls through," Richard said.

They stayed silent as they got their coffee and paid the man, heading back towards the hospital.

"If Erin doesn't make it, Meredith will leave. She's blaming herself for this. And Arizona will fall apart and four kids will lose their mom, and Amelia will relapse and Maggie will try and fix it and break down because she can't fix it," Alex said.

"And you?" Richard said.

"What about me?" Alex said.

"What will you do?" Richard asked.

"That girl was the first person in the world who loved me unconditionally. She taught me how to be the man I am. She's more than my best friend. She's my other half, my soulmate, my twisted sister, or whatever. I'll look after Arizona and the kids, try and keep Amelia straight, try and help Maggie fix things, pack Meredith's bags if she's gonna leave, whatever they need. But... But half of my heart will be gone and I don't know how to live in a world without Erin anymore. I don't want to learn how to do that," Alex whispered.