Baby Grey (Grey's Anatomy) ABANDONED

One hundred and thirty nine

AN: thank you for 900K! that's absolutely insane. things start looking up again from this chapter onwards so enjoy <3

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Erin didn't move off the stairs for hours, the sky through the windows changing from a pale blue to a dark black of the night. Nobody came to get her or check on her, and Erin didn't hear any talking from the kitchen and hadn't heard anybody move. She thought she was alone.

She felt alone.

Her chest was still aching from the panic attack, a headache burning behind her eyes and making her entire body shake from how bad it was. She felt like she might vomit or cry or scream, and she didn't know if her body could take any more emotions.

It was like an entire life's worth of grief and pain was trying to force it's way out of her body at once and was trying to destroy her. Erin knew it would win if she let it out. She'd fall apart and shatter and ruin her entire family more than she probably already had.

God, staying in the clouds was so tempting. At least here, she wouldn't have her wife or kids or sisters watch her break down and fall apart. But she would have to watch them grieve her, and she thought that would be worse torture than this breakdown.

The front door creaked open, Erin blinking wearily through the dark hallway at the figure stepping in.

"It's me!"

Erin almost cried, then. She had forgotten that voice. She didn't know when she'd forgotten what he sounded like, or when she'd started to forget the expressions on his face or how his hugs had felt. She just knew that, somewhere along the line, George O'Malley had been locked up in the box of trauma that she ignored because she had more important things to worry about than her own pain.

The hallway light flickered on and George grinned up at Erin. He still had that boyish grin with that messy hair Erin used to cut for him, wearing one of his mother's knitted jumpers with matching knitted mittens poking out of his winter coat.

"Hey, baby Grey," George said, shaking his mittens off and shrugging his coat off.

"Georgie?" Erin whispered.

She stood up, hurrying down the stairs and over to George. She hugged him tightly, smiling when his arms wrapped around her waist and lifted her up in a proper hug, putting her back on her feet and messing her hair up.

Erin pulled back enough to study his face, mapping his face into her memory again so she wouldn't forget him. She'd have to call Mrs O'Malley if she went back and woke up, introduce her to Rue and the twins so she could have some grandchildren figures in her life, some reminders of George through the people he called his family.

"What are you doing here?" Erin asked.

"I'm dead, remember? What are you still doing here? I thought I'd missed you," George said.

"I'm still here. Where were you?" Erin asked.

"With my dad," George said. "We watch my mom a lot, make sure she's okay. She'd appreciate a visit when you go back," George said knowingly.

"If I go back," Erin whispered, pulling away from George to go back to the stairs.

"Well, yeah, I guess. You'd've gone back if you wanted to. But you're still here, so, you're undecided," he said. "Want to bake with me? I've gotten really good since I've died," George said, heading into the kitchen.

Erin reluctantly walked away from the stairs and after George, entering the kitchen where Quinn was helping George set up things for baking, Lexie making coffee for George.