𝐌𝐢𝐚 𝐑𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐳. Even being born right next to the cruel and sick crime life never changed the charismatic and positive Mia who wanted to help change the messy world she formed part off.
Becoming a nurse at the age of 25 and joining her d...
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Looking at my leg now covered back in bandages I wonder how's it even possible that I feel it. It's as if my brain was having a battle with itself trying to understand if it's actually there or not.
And the pain, the pain is different now that I saw it. It hurts because I feel it and it hurts even more because when I look down I find there's nothing there.
Medication she said, and therapy. That were my options, the two things I loathe most.
There is no way I stuff myself with pills and not because I don't want that relief but because I don't trust myself to stop once I get a taste. Addiction rides in the family and I have more than enough with the ones I already have. God and do I miss them. If I could only get up and go for a run.
Smoke a damn cigarette.
But there's no way Mia allows me to do it. She will probably strike in here with a bucket full of water and throw it all over me. Then she will start to explain how bad smoking is for my body and even more after the surgery I went through.
Mia, she had really helped me today. More than just today. I kept denying that I needed help but I did. I do. And she was there, every step of the way, guiding me.
At first, when she came closer and put her hand over my shoulder I was so close to backing away but then my body relaxed, I didn't even see it coming it just did. And when her other hand caught my own it was like all that was happening wasn't that bad.
So when I looked into her eyes and saw that warmth within them I figured that for once, I deserved that comfort. It was just for a minute, it didn't mean anything. It was just two people going through a hard time together.
Or so I thought. Because when she smiled and I found myself looking down at her mouth something changed. We weren't just a nurse and a patient in that second, and she knew it too because it was her who backed away once it was done. Going back behind the line she had crossed.
And I'm glad she did because even if I'm grateful she was and is here for me that's how far it can go. How far I will allow it to go. We aren't friends. We will never be.
But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy her company, and being the A-class asshole I am she is probably the only person strong -or crazy- enough to stand me so I couldn't really let her go. Not when she is that fun to play with and also the one keeping me somewhat sane since Matteo went pretty much AWOL and Danielle has far better things to do than talking to me.
Being here, lying on this bed without the possibility of getting out still kills me more than the physical damage does. I want to go back, help Matteo to look for the ones who did this to us. To me. Because when we find them, and we will, I will make sure not even one of them keeps breathing the same air I breathe.
Being nice doesn't get you anywhere, I had always known but now, now I lived it firsthand. So this time, things will go differently. But first I had to get out of this bed as soon as possible.
