𝐌𝐢𝐚 𝐑𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐳. Even being born right next to the cruel and sick crime life never changed the charismatic and positive Mia who wanted to help change the messy world she formed part off.
Becoming a nurse at the age of 25 and joining her d...
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(An. Reading this while listening Make me by Noah Cyrus and Labrinth fits perfect, Strange by Celeste also kind of hits, especially towards the half/end)
I run. And I don't look back, I just run, trying my best to fight back my tears. He wasn't there, I needed him and he wasn't there. Maybe I should have stayed and listened to his explanation. Maybe I should have spared him that one second to hear him out but I couldn't. I just couldn't, not this time. It was too overwhelming.
If just seeing him there was hurting this much, what would it feel like listening to his excuses, apologies? That would've felt as if I were drowning, the feeling when you're fighting with everything you have to breathe but all you get is water, filling in your lungs until there's no air left and you're about to die.
"Mia, wait!" I hear Hunter's voice and the sound of steps as he's trying to keep up with me, however, I don't stop or turn around I keep going hoping he will just magically disappear.
"Mia," he repeats my name once he's finally by my side. And I think he will try to stop me but he doesn't, he doesn't try to reach for me or say how sorry he is about what happened, he simply gives me a chance to decide what I want and that's all I needed right now. "My car is at the end of the street, just tell me where you wanna go. What you need."
"Let's get to the car, I will tell you where to go then." That's all I say until we get to the car and I give him instructions on how to go to the old apartment Carlos and I used to live in.
There's no way I will go back to the house, Carlos will be there and I'm not nearly ready to face him. I can't go to my dad's place either because I know that even though he will try to reassure me deep down he will be thinking that I did this to myself. He will be thinking about how right he was about Carlos, he will tell me how he doesn't deserve me, and all I will be able to do is nod in agreement knowing that in reality I still love him and I will probably never stop. Not in this lifetime.
____
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you? Or take you back to your dad's?" Hunter asks for the hundredth time, and I appreciate it, I do, I know that this is because he cares and wants to make sure I'm okay, but at the same time, I wish he would shut up.
"I'm sure. I need some time alone. Some time to think." I muttered trying not to lose my patience and thankfully he finally seems to understand, stopping with the repetitive questions.
"Okay, I will leave you alone then. But call me if you need anything, okay?"
"I will, don't worry. Tell my dad I'm safe and that I will be back home later."
"Of course. Take care." He smiles and I smile back, tightly, as he walks out of the apartment disappearing into the elevator.
I give it a second until I can't see him anymore to take a step back and close the apartment door leaning on it with all the weight of my body, letting myself slide down to the floor. And then, like it's an old habit, my head is buried between my knees, and I take one last normal breath before breaking down into tears.
