𝐌𝐢𝐚 𝐑𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐳. Even being born right next to the cruel and sick crime life never changed the charismatic and positive Mia who wanted to help change the messy world she formed part off.
Becoming a nurse at the age of 25 and joining her d...
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"I'm sorry, God- I'm so sorry," I mutter giving a step back and putting my hands in front of me. The guilt eating me alive as I look at her up and down trying to make sure she is alright.
"It's okay," she whispers slowly but all I can notice is the tremble of her voice, her shaky hands, and the look of fear on her face.
A look I wished I had never had to see on her. Even less if caused by me.
"Are you- scared of me?" I ask trying not to get to conclusions before hearing the answer. "I would never put a hand on you, never. I would rather die. You know that right?" My voice breaks a little all the emotions I have been trying to suppress coming at me all at once.
She means everything to me, and even though I might suck at expressing it I would never dare to touch her like that. It would fucking kill me... she knows that right? She has too.
"Of course I know, it was nothing more than a reflex, I promise." She gives a step closer in my direction and I freeze when I feel her delicate hand over my upper arm. "I know you would never hurt me." She smiles through the pain, the pain I know I caused, and watching her like this, knowing it's all my fault feels like getting stabbed right through the heart. "Carlos?" She whispers my name but I can't get myself to react, my brain just screams at me to hide, to run. To do what I know best.
So that's exactly what I do.
"I'm sorry..." I whisper before giving a step back, taking my half-broken phone from the desk, and turning around to leave.
"What are you doing? Where are you going?" She asks and I hear the panic in her voice as she follows me.
"Rick will be here in a minute, I have to go. Have your bags ready for when I'm back." That's all I manage to say knowing that if I look back, if I look at her and see that pain in her eyes again a part of me will die right here and right now.
"Carlos, please stop. You can't keep doing this, you can't keep running away from me!" She begs and I swear I can hear my heart breaking into a little thousand pieces I will probably never be able to put back together.
"I'm sorry," I repeat, a single tear falling down my face as I get out of the apartment and Rick gets in.
He doesn't stop me, he knows me too well to think that would work, he just goes to her and I walk as fast as I can to try and get away from her awfully painful cries even if all I wish I could do is hug her, tell her that everything will be okay and that the pain will be over soon.
"I'm sorry, honey." That's the only thing I can hear him say before getting inside the elevator and letting myself slide down to the floor once I press the button. My hands against my knees and my face between my thighs, trying not to break down in tears.
___
I knock on his apartment door, knowing that I'm crossing more than one line but I don't know what to do anymore. And as much as I hate this, he is all I got. He is my last chance to do this the right way.
