𝐌𝐢𝐚 𝐑𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐳. Even being born right next to the cruel and sick crime life never changed the charismatic and positive Mia who wanted to help change the messy world she formed part off.
Becoming a nurse at the age of 25 and joining her d...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Two days before the trial
I wanted to go with her, everything in me was begging me to just go back to that kitchen and tell Rick that I would also go with them. I might not be able to keep her safe but at least I would be there for support. But then I simply looked at myself, thought for a second and I understood what I fucking mess I was, what kind of support could have I given her? None.
So that's why instead of going with her I hid, as I always do, and repeated her words inside my head way more times than I thought was possible. I didn't blame her for saying them or held any kind of grudge because she was right. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore.
I hoped leaving the apartment and moving on from my father's situation would help, hell, I prayed it would help and I don't fucking pray.
All I wanted was a break, for my brain to give me just a few days of peace but my dad, he is too deep inside my head, and my seek for revenge, the need to end this has consumed me. I'm aware, but I don't know how to stop it.
For so long I used her as my anchor, I took in all her strength, her positivity, and smiles to try and keep going. To try not to go crazy, and it worked, it worked until I took it all away from her. I didn't intend to do that, her happiness is way more important to me than my own but I did it anyways. I took her light away and with hers, I lost the little I had left of mine.
When I saw the way she looked at me, so lost and confused, as if she barely recognized me anymore it felt like a bullet went straight through my heart. I could tell she was trying so hard to try and help me but right now, she is the one who needs support. And I can't be there for her the way she has always been for me because I'm also in fucking pieces. Pieces that I have no idea how to fix up.
I never learned how to look out for myself, since I was a kid all I have done is look out for others. My mom, Isabella, Matteo, them being okay was all I ever cared about, and now that they are gone, now that everything has fallen over my shoulders, every single thing I have been ignoring, the pain I went through hit me at once. I'm aware of it, the same way that I know I should ask for help, but I never learned how to do that either.
So I hide and hope I will be able to figure it out on my own before it kills me.
"Where is she?" I ask Rick as I walk inside the kitchen. Felix is right next to him apparently getting dinner ready.
He instantly looks in my direction, Felix too, both surprised that I'm here, which makes sense since I have been in the library for almost the whole day and it's around seven in the afternoon when I finally decide to make my appearance.
"Glad to know you are alive, should we thank you for gracing us with your presence?" I should have expected he would react this way. It's Rick.
"Come on, tell me where she is. I want to ask her how the meeting went." I tell him hoping that will be enough for him to answer my question.
