Barely Breathing//Ethis

4||

Chris' point of view:

"Chris what were you thinking?!" Our manager, Owen  yells but I keep my eyes glued to the floor unable to look him in the eye

"Do you know what you've done? You could have ruined everything! Not only does this jeopardise your reputation but you could have ruined Ethan and Jakob's!" He continues to yell, I wince at every word trying to stop my hands from trembling

"How do expect me to get you out of this one? How are you going to get out of this one?" He says begging to pace around the room

"Alright Owen you've been yelling for over an hour, that's enough for today" Jakob says coming in to save me

"Get out of my sight!" Owen yells, I don't move though so Jakob swiftly comes to my side pulling me up and helping me walk to the studio. I sit down on one of the desk chairs and I can see Ethan staring at me from across the room. I rest my head in my hands and let out a long sigh, it's been a hectic couple of days.

I pick up my phone and hesitantly scroll through my Instagram feed, seeing exactly what I knew I would.

"I didn't do what everyone is saying I did" I say quietly

"We believe you" Jakob says sitting opposite me

"Ethan?" I ask glancing up at him

"Whatever" he says coldly not looking at me, Jakob gives him a stare before he smiles reassuringly at me.

Tears begin to fall slowly, I try to steady my breathing by wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans.

"We're losing so much support, I'm so sorry" I say scrolling through just a few of the many notifications I've been getting in the past few hours and days.

"This isn't your fault" Jakob tells me

"There's nothing you can do about it now. You've done enough." Ethan says just as bitterly as before

"I didn't do what they're all saying!" I say again a little louder

"Well explain then, what happened?" He replies sitting forward ready to listen.

"On Friday I went to a party. There were so many people there but I only knew maybe six or seven so I kinda stuck with them. One of them introduced me to a friend, a girl who then offered me a drink of what I thought was lemonade. Turns out she spiked my drink. I can only remember the next few hours in fragments but I'm pretty sure she took me to a spare room and we started making out a bit. The next thing I remember is waking up in the bed, to all this drama." They listen intently as I tell them "now the girl is saying we had sex or something. We definitely didn't. I wouldn't do something like that, it's not me." I explain

"There are photos of you sleeping in bed shirtless, with her" Ethan says
"I don't even remember taking my shirt off and she was fully clothed anyway, the angle just makes it look bad." I say honestly

"So you're saying that she's lying about all this, for what? The attention? Ruining everything for us? Because she sure as hell has" Ethan says getting up and storming out of the room, I really thought he'd be a bit more understanding about the whole situation.

"Wow" Jakob says breaking the silence

"There's so much hate" I mumble

"Don't worry we can fix this, we have to fix this" Jakob says also getting up and leaving the room.

I don't know if we can, everyone hates me right now and I don't think they're going to listen to anything I have to say for a while. I don't understand why this had to happen, why did that girl have to lie? We both know that nothing happened.
I think I just have to focus on getting Ethan to like me again for the time being. We can't have this drama going on and one of the band members angry at another because that will just be total chaos. We were starting to get really close too and for maybe a split second he made me the happiest person ever, everything he does just makes me smile.
My phone vibrates non stop in my hand so I decide to read some of these comments that are flooding in. Most are hateful or rude saying things like

"Ew you disgust me"

"I thought you were better than this"

"I used to like you, I never will again"

"Man whore!"

I can't even explain how disappointed in myself I am, how bad I feel. I've ruined everything single handedly.
I don't know how I am going to face the whole of Australia on Monday night because no doubt the word will have spread and it will have been in newspapers and web blogs.
What will I say? I can't explain everything. I wasn't even actually supposed to be at the party, I was there because our manage told us to do things outside of our comfort zones and that was one of the only things I could think of at the time.
I know I should be going to sleep as we have a big day tomorrow but how could I possibly? I rarely sleep much anymore because I'm always overthinking. I either sleep to little or sleep to much trying to avoid all my problems but I know there's no getting away with this one. No one is going to forget this overnight, it'll only worsen. The fans will probably have a million questions that I won't be able to answer. I can't do anything anymore. I'm too nervous about everything. So far the boys haven't found out that I throw up after meals and I intend to keep it that way. It's best they're kept in the dark, I can handle this anyway. There is still so much that they don't know and it's haunting me because I know I won't be able to keep them much longer.

Soon everyone will know, but it will be too late.