Barely Breathing//Ethis

75||

Chris' point of view:

"Is she okay?" I ask growing concerned

"Chris.. She was in a car accident."

"Oh my god, is sh-" she cuts me off

"Chris. It was a fatal car accident. She didn't make it." Mum says quietly meeting my eyes, I can see the worry in them now, that's when I realise

"Ethan..." I trail off

"I don't want you to tell him okay? At least not before the session starts again. Tonight, maybe" she advises

"I can't believe this" I shake my head, how could this happen?

Things were finally starting to look up with Ethan's relationship with her and now this has to happen. How am I supposed to tell him?

"You should get back to him" Mum interrupts my thoughts, I nod turning on my heels and walking back over to Ethan who's looking nervous as hell.

I sit beside him and that's when he speaks

"He's looking at me." He says bluntly "I can feel it"

"How are you?" I ask, he's acting like he doesn't seem fazed but he's nervous, I can tell

"Is this worth it?" He asks looking at me "it's not going to change anything, all the things he did to me won't just erase. This, this just hurts."

"I know that but Ethan you have to understand that what he did is illegal and wrong and he needs to be punished for it" I remind him

"Then why does it feel like I'm the only one being punished? I'm the one that has to recount everything, I'm the one that has to see him again, I'm the one who's being looked at like I'm still a toy." He snaps standing up from his seat

"Ethan, please"

"Why don't you just let him do it again? Because that would be less painful then telling a room full of strangers how he dehumanised me. He doesn't regret it and this isn't going to make him" he says looking me straight in the eye, there are tears welling up in his but he's not letting them fall

"Ethan you're scared," I look down at his hands that are shaking so violently it's concerning "you're only saying this because you're scared, but we get to go home at the end of this and he doesn't."

"I don't know if I can do this" he says much quieter now

"It's just like you're talking to me, okay? Talk to me" I tell him

"Okay, I'm sorry" he apologises looking down

"Don't be. I think it's time to go back inside, are you ready?" I ask changing the subject

He draws in a deep breath and nods.

Mum, Dad and Ethan's lawyer all join us and we walk back into the courtroom together, resuming our positions from before the break.

The session starts again and I admit I wasn't paying much attention until:

"I'd like to call Chris Lanzon to the witness stand"

I snap out of my thoughts and quickly stand up from my chair. I make my way over to the witness stand and sit down

"State your full name and age, please" the prosecutor says

"Christopher James Lanzon, I'm 15" I reply

"And it says here," they look down at the sheets of paper in their hands "that you knew what was taking place when Ethan was raped the first time. Is this true?"

"No. I didn't know what was happening. I was looking for Ethan and I walked past a supply closed, I heard screaming and crying so I knocked on the door until Jeremy finally opened it. I tried to look past him but he blocked my view and basically told me to leave. So, I did. Once the door was closed the screaming returned much louder, more pained." I explain taking a glance at Ethan

"What is your relationship with Ethan right now?" They continue to question

"I'm his boyfriend" I state looking down at the promise ring on my finger

"No further questions."

I step down from the witness stand and walk back over to my seat behind the table.

"Now, there is a video of the rape and that is what we're going to be viewing next." The Judge speaks this time now

A projector comes into view and is set up, Ethan's hand finds mine underneath the table and he squeezes it rather tightly, so tight that he might cut off my circulation, but I don't care about that.

The video starts to play and I look anywhere but at the projector, I don't want to look at the projector. It wouldn't be fair on Ethan, I respect him too much to bring myself to look.

I try not to focus on the sounds coming from the video either but it's hard when it is literally the only sound throughout the whole courtroom.

My heart is breaking.

The video ends after what feels like forever and I finally look up. Ethan looks up also and I think that's the only time that he hasn't watched the video either.

A few more things are said and then the Judge starts speaking again.

"The session has gone overtime. We will schedule another time and day and notify you. Until then, court adjourned."

Everyone immediately begins getting up from their seats and filing out of the courtroom. Ethan and I are some of the last to leave, after Jeremy.

We meet up with my parents outside the courthouse and we all walk to the car.

We're all silent. No one dares speak. What is supposed to be said now? How am I going to tell Ethan that his mum is dead after the eventful day we have had today?

What if it's too much for him to handle? I don't know what to do.

My parents drop us home and Ethan goes straight upstairs, kicking his shoes off and undoing his tie as he goes. I pick up his shoes on the stairs and follow him up the stairs and into his room, he hangs his tie and suit jacket on his desk chair and flops down onto his bed.

"You okay Bub?" I ask taking off my own tie and undoing the top button of my shirt, I sit beside him and he stays lying down on the bed.

"I don't know yet," he sighs "it hasn't quite hit me yet, you know? I can't stop thinking. Jeremy was there. I couldn't speak. Mum never showed and they played the video." He lists off, I know I have to tell him.

"Ethan.. I have something I need to tell you," I take in a deep breath and he sits up now looking confused "your mum, she-she was in a car crash and... She didn't make it"

"What?" He asks sounding small "sh-she's dead?"

His voice cracks and he leans into my shoulder starting to cry.

"She can't be gone, she's all I have" his voice comes out muffled but I can still make out what he's saying

"You have me."