Barely Breathing//Ethis

70||

Chris' point of view:

The sun beams in from the window and wakes me up. Ethan is still sleeping nuzzled into my chest, he looks so peaceful that I don't want to wake him.

My mind immediately wanders back to the night before. We had sex.

It meant a lot to me and I don't regret it at all, I just hope he doesn't either.

"Chris" he murmurs sleepily

"Morning Bear" I smile down at him

"I love you so much" he hums closing his eyes

"You don't regret it?" I ask, worry taking over

He shakes his head against my chest.

"It was just as special to me as I'm hoping it was to you, I trust you." He moves away slowly

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" I ask noticing him wince a few times

"No, no it's okay. I'm okay" he nods looking at me, his eyes soft

I kick the covers off myself and standing up, feeling the slightest bit sore. I push past the weird feeling and kneel down in front of my bedside drawers, I pull open the top drawer and find exactly what I was looking for.

"I was waiting for something special, and last night was pretty special to me. Just like you." I draw in a deep breath trying to shake off the nerves, he's sitting up as much as he can, giving me his full attention.

"We may have only been in a relationship for not even a year but we were best friends before that, and I'm glad to say that for me, that hasn't changed. You have given me the best time of my life, you make me so incredibly happy and I'm glad you are who you are. Without you, I wouldn't be happy, I probably wouldn't even be here today, thank you for teaching me how to be strong. I love you so so much and I hope you know that I will always be here for you, we're getting through this together, slowly. But we're getting there. You're the most funniest, nicest, caring and interesting person I know. I love listening to anything you have to say, everything just blows my mind. Please, never change. You're perfect the way you are, despite what other people have told you, I think you are. I'm still trying to comprehend how such a beautiful person like you is even with me. Sometimes I think I don't deserve you, other times I realise that I'm the luckiest person alive. Thank you for choosing me, of all people, you chose me and I want you to know that I will always choose you, not only in this life but in every other. Because our love is different, ours is special. You've got something special about you and.. I haven't quite figured out what it is yet because that's another thing about you. You're mysterious. And Ethan Karpathy, I would love to spend the rest of my life trying to figure you out." I tell him, from the very bottom of my heart, tears starting to form in the corners of my eyes.

I reach down and pull the little navy blue box into view.

"Chris... What are you doing?" He asks slowly, his gaze shifting from my eyes to the box.

"Ethan, I love you. I promise to love you forever, so Ethan Karpathy, will you promise to do the same?" I ask as I open the box, revealing a beautiful silver ring.

"Oh my god" he gasps leaning forward to look at it

"Yes, I love you, yes." He rushes, smiling the biggest I think I've seen him smile in a long time.

I take the ring carefully from the box and hold his left hand. I slip the ring onto his ring finger and he immediately pulls his hand back to admire it.

"Chris it's beautiful!" He marvels

"Look closely" I whisper as I pull out another box with my ring inside

"It's got our initials engraved in it" he looks up at me this time, he notices the box in my hand and reaches over to take it from me. He opens it and smiles, our rings are almost identical. He takes it out of the box and I hold my hand out to him, he puts it on the third finger of my left hand just like I did with him.

"I love you so much, thank you
Chris" he leans over a little bit more and plants a soft kiss on my lips.

I place the box my ring was in on the bedside table and I climb back into bed. Ethan moves slowly again until he's lying on his stomach but also on my chest.

"I am really sorry for hurting you, Bub." I apologise again

"Chris it's okay, seriously. I know you didn't mean to and I know that you love me. It honestly meant a lot to me" he says looking up at me with his eyes

His gaze shifts and he stares down at the ring on his finger starting to play with it.

"You're... Different. You care about me, you-you're gentle, you don't want to hurt me." He sounds so small when he says it, almost ashamed that he has to in the first place.

"You're so beautiful, I love everything about you."

"Can we just stay here for a little bit longer, I don't want to move again" he sighs resting his head on my chest.

I nod even though he can't see me, I run my hand through his hair letting him know that way instead.

We go silent and the only sound heard is our breathing, it's not awkward silence though. Somehow I feel like what we did last night has brought us even closer than what we already were, like our bond with each other has been strengthened. It was love.  I gave him my virginity and I know if he could he would have given me his.

A/N: I thought this would be cute but now I'm having my doubts & there's probably mistakes somewhere *sigh*