Barely Breathing//Ethis

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A/N: ID JUST LIKE TO SAY WE HIT 16KAY VIEWS AND I HOPE YOU LIKE THE NEW BOOK COVER FAM

Jakob's point of view:

"No!" Ethan screams as I pick him up "get off me!"

He tries to fight against me, but I'm stronger.

I put him down on the couch and hold his arms down, preventing him from fighting against me.

"Ethan, stop."

"I DONT WANT TO LIVE, I CANT LIVE ANYMORE. NOT WITHOUT HIM. HE KNOWS EVERYTHING, JAKE, CHRIS KNOWS EVERYTHING. HES NOT COMING BACK. I WANT TO DIE" Ethan screams much louder than I thought he would.

He somehow manages to get away from my grasp and he runs from the room but then his footsteps stop in the hallway. I stand up and walk into the hallway to see what's going on.

Chris is standing there and so is Ethan. They're both just staring at each other until they notice me, Ethan looks between Chris and I and runs up the stairs.

"How much did you hear?" I  ask with sigh

"Every word." He says quietly

"He's been like this since you left" I lean against the wall and stare at him "what took you so long anyway?"

"I've had a lot to think about" he replies looking down

"Well he found the ring." I tell him "and yours"

"I-I better go unpack" he says awkwardly, walking towards the stairs

I follow him up the stairs and watch him walk into his room and close the door, that's when I go to Ethan's.

"Ethan, come on let me in" I say knocking on his door, I hear movement from inside his room and he opens the door slowly not meeting my eyes. He's crying.

"What do you want?" He asks still looking down

"Hey, why're you crying?" I ask softly taking a step towards him

"He knows everything Jake." He cries falling to his knees "it's not my fault right?"

"Of course not" I reassure him, kneeling down in front of him and looking him in the eyes

"How am I supposed to act around him now?" He asks wiping away some tears

"You act just how you would before, nothing has to change. It'll be okay, maybe you should get some fresh air, go out for a bit?" I suggest with a smile

He nods "Yeah, okay"

I stand up and hold a hand out to him, he takes it and pulls himself up.

We walk back out his room together and I watch him walk down the stairs.

Ethan's point of view:

I should be happy that Chris is back, I really should. But I'm not.

I don't exactly know where I'm going, I'm sort of just walking.

I don't know how long I've s been walking for but it must have been a while because I now find myself at the beach.

I walk along the sand until I get to the water, I slip off my shoes and pick them up before walking along the shoreline walking in the shallow parts of the water.

I was stupid to think that if Chris came back things would go back to the way they were before, they may never be normal again.

How am I ever going to face him?

He knows every single thing.

What does he think of me nowI don't even know what he thought of me before he read all the details.?

Sure, I found the ring but does that mean anything now? Will he even want to be with me again?

I sit down in the sand and rest my head in my hands. I don't even know how Tahlia could have found the notebook. It was hidden in a loose floorboard underneath the rug in my room.

Why was she even in my room to begin with? She read some of it too, what would she think?

I've always been her overprotective, strong big brother but over the past few months, since I first started going out with Chris everything has changed. He broke down all my walls and made me break every promise I'd made to myself and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad one.

I love him. That hasn't changed, what has is if he still loves me. I wouldn't, I don't. Especially not after all of those things.

I feel a droplet of water hit my nose snapping me out of my thoughts and making me look up towards the sky. Dark clouds have rolled in and it looks like it's going to start pouring down any second. I pull out my phone and press the home button

9:47pm.

It's going to take me a while to get home so I better start now. I stand up and dust all the sand off of myself before slipping my shoes back on and beginning to walk.

At least I won't have to see Chris until tomorrow morning.

Chris' point of view:

It's getting late and Ethan's still not back, I've been waiting up for him for hours after I found his ring on the coffee table. I've put mine back on and I'm holding his in the palm of my hand.

It's 12:04am when I hear a key in the door, I sit up straight preparing myself for what could happen next. I've practised what I wanted to say over and over these past few hours but when I see him my mind goes blank.

"Oh-uh, I didn't know you would still be up" he rushes kicking off his shoes and turning to leave the room

"Ethan, wait" I say desperately, he stops and turns back around slowly "I haven't read everything in your journal"

He closes his eyes and draws in a deep breath before opening them again and exhaling.

"Chris, I know the things I wrote in there are pretty bad and from what I recall, the first one isn't the worst of things that could have happened. I understand if you think of me differently now or something but, please, stop reading it. I thought I would be okay with you reading it, with you knowing. But I'm not. No one was ever supposed to know." He turns again to walk up the stairs and this time I let him

"I don't" I say quickly "think of you different, I mean"

He turns his head slightly and nods disappearing upstairs.

A/N: THERE ARE LOTS OF MISTAKES BC LIFE HATES ME BYE