Barely Breathing//Ethis

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Chris' point of view:

Ethan's been lying on my chest for the past hour crying his heart out. I have my arms wrapped securely around him. I know I can't do much to make him feel better but I know he likes it when I do this.

"This isn't fair, nothing is ever fair!" Ethan cries into my chest, I don't respond. What am I supposed to say? He's been saying things like this for the past hour and for the past hour I haven't replied.

"She was finally starting to understand. She was coming to support me. She wanted everything to go back to normal and now it never can" he rambles on, still crying

"I know, I know" I hush him softly, finally speaking as I play with the bottom of his hair

"Why do bad things keep happening to me?" He asks quietly sniffling

"Because you're such a good person"

"How can I be a good person if I've let all of this happen?" He asks looking up at me and wiping tears away, I know he's not just talking about his mum now, he's talking about everything that's happened.

"Nothing that's happened is your fault. Don't think like that, please believe me when I tell you it's not your fault, Bub" I try

He just nods.

"I'm going to change" he says moving off me and walking out the room, I changed earlier so I just have to wait.

He returns a few minutes later dressed in track suit pants and one of my shirts.

I stand up and walk over to him, he throws his arms around me.

"You don't need to say anything, please, just hold me" he jumps up and wraps his legs around my waist, he moves his arms and puts them under my own hugging me just as tightly as before. I place my hands under his thighs and hold him up and he buries his head into my neck letting out a  sigh.

I carry him with me downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Ice cream?" I suggest placing him down on the countertop, he nods and a small smile spread across his face. There we go.

I turn around and open the freezer, I pull out the tub of ice cream and put it beside Ethan. I open one of the drawers and take out two large spoons. I hand one to Ethan, who has already opened the ice cream. I pick the tub up and carry it into the living room with Ethan following me quickly.

I sit down on the couch and Ethan picks up the remote before joining me.
I study him as he flicks through the channels.

His eyes are still glossy with tears but they aren't falling, just staying there until he eventually blinks them away. I've never noticed how long his eyelashes are until now, dark and curled at the ends, the kind most girls would envy. His eyebrows are furrowed together in concentration making him look somewhat serious. My eyes travel down to his lips now, they look dry but they aren't chapped and just as I look, he licks them. His cheeks are now blotchy from crying but I think he's done with crying for now.

He's got his fingers wrapped around the spoon and he's scooping out little spoonfuls of ice cream at a time. He does everything so delicately, even the smallest of things. He's careful in everything he does, almost cautious.

"Do you want to watch this?" He asks finally stopping on one of the channels

"Yeah, sure," I agree tearing my gaze away from him and glancing at the TV screen to see The Lion King playing. "Why do you like kids movies so much?"

He pauses and leaves his spoon stuck in the ice cream for a moment.

"They're innocent." He replies twisting his spoon around in he ice cream creating a small hole. I know what he means, it reminds him of when he was innocent. Before I can speak, he moves again shovelling another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. He's not looking at me now, but at the TV.

He takes the ice cream tub from me and moves his position until he's sitting on my lap, resting the ice cream tub in his lap.

I reach around him and scoop ice cream onto my spoon and bring it up to my mouth, watching Ethan struggle to get any from the corner of my eye.

I bring my spoon back down and scoop up more ice cream with ease, I turn the spoon slightly and move it towards Ethan. He leans forward and takes the spoon in his mouth eating the ice cream without a sound. He looks up at me when he's finished and smiles a cheesy no-teeth smile as a thank you.

He seems to have forgotten about all the events that have taken place today, at least that's what I think. He seems relatively okay.

He leans back and that's when I begin to play with his hair. He hums and rests his head on my shoulder. We stay silent for maybe five minutes and honestly I'm just trying to stay focused on the movie and follow the story line, even though I've seen it thousands of times before, but I can't focus on anything except keeping Ethan safe.

"Thank you, I know what you're doing. Thank you." Ethan says finally as he closes his eyes for a moment resting his head on my shoulder

"How do you feel?" I ask a little weary, I don't want to make him sad again.

"I don't know, numb at the moment I guess. I haven't had time to process everything that's happened today yet. Please be here when I do" he says quietly

"I will be, don't worry"

A/N: hi hello I know I haven't updated in like 4 days but I passed my math test after failing every single one this year, I am now a month clean and I'm going to the Banjo Tour Fletcher is doing so I'm feeling grEAT SO HAVE SOME FLUFF IT DIDNT TURN OUT AS PLANNED THOUGH SO SAD :(