Barely Breathing//Ethis

27||

Chris' point of view:

I can't help but smile, he doesn't trust me but he's willing to try and right now I'll take what I can get. I just want things to go back to the way they were before the entire incident happened, I know we probably never can but I can hope.

"We can take this as slow as you want to, tell me whenever you're ready" I speak slowly as if talking slow will help him understand me

"Okay." He replies keeping his head low

"If I could take back all the pain I inflicted on you, if I could take back what I did. I would, in a heartbeat." I apologise for what must be the hundredth time just today.

I watch him swallow thickly before standing up and running out the room, I glance at Jakob with a confused expression. I had actually forgotten he was in the room because he was being so quite, just watching. Without another minute of hesitation I quickly walk up the stairs looking for any signs of Ethan, I stop as soon as I see him in the bathroom clasping a trembling hand over his mouth.

"Are you, okay?" I ask cautiously stepping into the room fully now, he stands there staring at me for a second before opening his mouth to speak

"I thi-" he clenches his jaw rushing towards the toilet, he hunches over and his sobs become muffled as he throws up into the toilet, his legs soon give way and he collapses onto the tiles throwing up once more.

I'm unsure of how to handle this because the last thing I want to do is make it worse, he was physically sick because he was so distraught. I slowly step towards him raising my hands slightly letting him know I won't hurt him.

"Ethan it's okay" I whisper kneeling by his side

"No it's not" he chokes out leaning forward onto the toilet

"Is there anything I can do?" I ask feeling the tiniest bit helpless in this situation, he shakes his head and the only thing that can be heard is his heavy breathing, almost panting throughout the bathroom.

I want desperately to put my arm around him and comfort him but I know I can't, he would probably freak out and think I'm going to hurt him again. I try my best to block out the horrific smell that has now spread throughout the room, after all I am fairly familiar with it, as much as I hate to admit it.

"Just please stop apologising, I know you're sorry but every time you apologise it just brings back why you're sorry in the first place and I want to forget it." Ethan says and I nod making a mental note not to do it again.

He seems to be okay with me being close to him at the moment because we're only centimetres apart, either that or he hasn't noticed yet.

"I-I-I'm okay" he says quietly briefly shutting his eyes and pushing himself up off the toilet and into a standing position, I quickly join him and watch as he brings a hand up to his head and he begins to fall, I step forward catching him in my arms.

"You're not okay" I correct him softly

I slowly lower him back onto the floor and he leans against the bathtub, his head rolls back and he appears to be slipping in and out of consciousness.

"Ethan, Ethan stay with me" I say clicking my fingers in front of his face in an attempt to keep him conscious

"You know what you did?" He mumbles frowning slightly

"Yeah" I reply keeping my eyes fixated on him

"It's happened before." He almost whispers before his eyes shut completely and I know he's unconscious.

My eyes widen as I realise what he just said, it could just be his delirious state, I hope it is anyway.

I scoop him into my arms and I carry him carefully downstairs back into the living room. Jakob looks confused but he doesn't ask any questions instead he helps me place Ethan on the couch.

"He threw up. Then he basically fell unconscious" I brief Jakob in

"Oh." Is all he says staring down at Ethan

"That's not all," I continue "he said what I did has happened to him before."

This causes Jakob to look up at me with wide eyes.

"Oh my god" he whispers

"I've known him almost three years and he never told me" I sigh sitting on the arm of the couch

"It's not exactly something you can bring up in casual conversation." Jakob replies and I nod in agreement

"He might now remember when he wakes up, should we still ask him about it?" I ask Jakob

"I don't know, we'd be picking at old wounds as well as the new ones." He points out

"I don't know know if I can ever forgive myself for doing that to him" I sigh placing my hand over Ethan's

"Hey, if Ethan's willing to try, you should too" he smiles

"Yeah I guess you're right" I sigh yet again looking down at Ethan.

He looks so calm and peaceful, the way his hair has fallen to cover one of his eyes and how his lips slightly part allowing his chest to rise and fall as he breathes, he's so adorable and I just want to lay beside him with my arm around his waist. But in this situation that wouldn't be right, so I don't.

After half an hour his eyes begin to flicker until he opens then ever so slightly. He looks at Jakob then at me before he speaks

"What happened?" He asks trying to sit up but failing

"You were throwing up and then you passed out," I start, and by now he is able to sit up properly. I take in a deep breath trying to prepare myself for what his actions might be "Ethan you said that what I did has happened to you before." I finish speaking slowly.

His eyes widen and he averts his gaze to his hands nodding.

A/N: I know, I know, please don't kill me.