Barely Breathing//Ethis

115||

Ethan's point of view:

"Let's go now" I say going to stand up

"I can go by myself" Chris tells me quickly

"No, I'm coming with you" I persist reaching out for his hand and using it to steady myself

"Ethan you can barely walk" he argues

"I don't care" I stand up fully now and grimace at the pain, Chris is looking at me with one eyebrow raised. I know he's expecting me to cave any second now but I refuse to.

"Why are we still standing here? We have to walk fast!" I snap him out of his trance as he stares at me.

He starts walking and I'm practically stumbling after him bumping into all the surfaces I could on my way. We manage to get all the way outside when I have to stop.

"Okay," I stop "maybe not that fast"

Chris slows down with a tiny smile on his face, I hit him across the chest and he only smiles bigger.

•••

I'm left alone in the waiting room, I don't know how I'm going to live with myself if I've given my STD to Chris. There's nothing I can say or do to make this better either, this is just all my fault. I've been trying to distract myself from thinking about it for the past hour by reading the many, many pamphlets that the waiting room has to offer. I've probably read every single one of them by now and I've just started to read them again when I look up to see Chris entering the room. I shove the pamphlet back into it's place and I walk over to him as fast as I can.

"How did it go?" I ask anxiously

"The results will be in tomorrow" is all Chris says, he somehow manages a smile. "Shall we go then?"

"I guess" I sigh really wishing he had told me more

After that neither one of us talk, what's there to say? We begin walking home and amidst the silence the overwhelming feeling of guilt and dread starts to set in again. How is Chris going to react if the test results are positive? How am I going to react? Is he going to act different?

I was thinking so much that I hadn't even realised that we had gotten home and that Chris was currently holding the front door open for me. I step inside kick off my shoes and I turn to face Chris as he shuts the door behind us.

"I'm going to go have a shower"

Chris' point of view:

As soon as Ethan's upstairs and out of sight I let my shoulders drop and my face fall. I have a very bad feeling and I know it's not just my pounding headache. I take off my own shoes and head into the kitchen in search for painkillers to hopefully relieve some of the pain I'm feeling right now.

I rummage through a few cabinets before I eventually find what I'm looking for. I fill a glass with water and take two painkillers, setting aside two more for Ethan. He definitely drank a lot more than I did last night.

After I rinse the cup and dry it I leave the kitchen and head upstairs to Ethan's room, I can hear the water running when I enter and I walk over to his bed. I slowly begin to strip the sheets and drop them to the floor, whilst I'm doing this I can't help but let the thoughts get the best of me and I gradually start to cry.

I cry not only for myself but for Ethan too. Why is life so so cruel?

"Chris" Ethan's voice gets my attention, I quickly wipe my tears and turn to face him putting on a smile, the first fake one in a long time.

"You don't have to hide it" Ethan shakes his head and he walks over to me "It's my turn to be here for you"

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a hug. A comforting, needed hug.

"Thank you" I mumble into his hair, tears are still falling but I'm not entirely sure if he knows or not; his hair is still wet.

When he pulls away and starts to wipe my tears with the pad of his thumb I don't have to wonder.

"I want you to know that no matter what the test results say tomorrow, you're going to be okay" Ethan reassures me, "We'll be okay"

Something about him comforting me for once makes me feel like I don't always have to be strong all the time. He's here for me and that's the most reassuring thing I could ask for.

He steps back and I watch him turn and walk over to his wardrobe. I shake my head and go back to what I was already doing, I pick up the sheets and leave Ethan to get dressed.

I pass Jakob on my way to the laundry and we exchange a short hello, he seems to already be cleaning up from last night.

"I'll help, just give me five minutes." I offer giving him a smile as I throw the sheets into the washing basket. He nods and I quickly return back upstairs to Ethan's room, he's clothed now and he's currently trying, and failing to put new sheets on the bed. I sigh with a smile and walk over to help him.

It only takes a few short minutes until I've helped him successfully put the sheets on the bed.

"I'm gonna help Jake clean up the house" I explain

"Okay, I think I'm gonna get some panadol" Ethan sighs

"Oh yeah, I left some on the kitchen counter for you"

"Thanks"

A/N: this is sucky but hey lets all just ignore the big elephant in the room.