Barely Breathing//Ethis

41||

Chris' point of view:

"Chris help me!" Ethan cries out in his sleep

"I'm right here, Ethan I'm right here" I reply placing a hand on his arm

He wakes up with a jump and because of this he accidentally kicks me in the balls, I groan in pain and he quickly gets up, not helping with the pain, and he runs from the room.

I don't move for a while, trying to ease the pain a little and soon enough it's bearable enough for me to stand up.

"Ethan!" I call out but there comes no reply, I walk from the living room and up the stairs checking his room first, not there. My room, not there. I even checked Jakob's room and he isn't there.

I check the bathroom and the kitchen and I'm just about ready to give up and go to my room when I notice the front door is slightly ajar.

I walk over and look through the small gap, sitting on the doorstep are Jakob and Ethan.

They appear to be talking, no, whispering and Ethan seems extremely upset.

"He was there," Ethan whispers and even from this distance I can detect the fear in his voice "it's like he knew I was going to be there so he decided to show up just to fuck with me some more, literally,"

I, and probably Jakob too know that what he said was meant as a joke but he keeps his voice serious.

"I'm scared, oh god I'm so scared" his voice cracks at the end and he buries his face in his hands

"It's going to be okay, both Chris and I are here. He can't hurt you." Jakob whispers back

"It looked like he wanted to, you should have seen it Jake. The way his eyes wandered up and down my body with a sickening smile on his face. It hurts just thinking about it." Ethan says even quieter and I almost didn't hear him

"So don't think about it, you're fine Ethan. Look around you, you're here, you're safe." Jakob tries

"I don't feel safe" Ethan sighs

"If you want to feel safe then why not tell someone about it, other than Chris and I. Someone that can actually do something about it." Jakob says to him firmly

"I tried that, and all it got me was more bruises than I already had." Ethan sounds a little angry now, he stands up and starts to walk towards the front door, I run back into the living room and dive onto the couch trying to resume the position I was in before just in case Ethan happened to come back in.

I hear him stomp up every single step on the staircase until finally his bedroom door slams shut. I know I should go up and check on him but Jakob comes into the room and sits down beside me sighing.

"I heard." I tell him bluntly sitting up properly now

"Oh." He replies with the same tone as my own

"He had a nightmare," I say running a hand through my hair, still a little dazed by the whole situation that just unfolded. "I don't think he'll want to talk about it, it seemed pretty intense."

"Go to him," Jakob's tone changes now and he sounds optimistic "give it a try"

I nod standing up, and making my way up the stairs. I stop outside his door mentally preparing for what might happen when I open this door.

I push the door open and lean on the doorway, he's curled up with his arms crossed over his chest, he's got his entire duvet wrapped around him and his head is poking out the top. He looks up when he hears me open the door, looking small and scared.

"Chris" he says sounding exacting how he looks

"Mhm bear?" I reply giving him a new nickname, it suits him. He's just like a cute, cuddly, small baby bear that you just want to keep safe from the world.

"C-can we talk?" He asks, his big brown eyes looking up into mine pleadingly

"Of course we can" I walk the few steps to his bed and sit beside him

"A-Am I being selfish? I've constantly got you and Jake worrying about me, I keep having these stupid panic attacks and falling into bad habits again. I've dumped all my shit on you and you shouldn't have to deal with it, you shouldn't have to deal with me. And God it's been almost three years but it's like time stopped after he-he, y'know, because nothing has really ever happened after that, I'm stuck. I'm stuck and I keep spiralling further down. I don't want to drag you with me, Chris I'm so sorry, I never meant for this to happen, this is all my fault and I couldn't be any more sorry for dragging you into this. I'm sorry for shutting you out, I'm sorry for being needy, I'm sorry for being clingy, I'm sorry for making you deal with me and I'm sorry, I'm just so sorry for being me." He says starting to cry softly, he pulls the rest of the duvet over his head shielding his face from my view.

"Ethan, I want you to listen to me okay? You are in no way being selfish, in fact in the entire time I've known you I don't think you've ever been. We worry about you because we love you. You have in no way dumped any of your 'shit' on me, I'm your boyfriend and I we're in this together. I want to deal with you, that's what being in a relationship is, and I love every single little thing about you. You could never drag me down, you brought me up. Ethan when I was at my lowest you helped me, and I'm going to try my absolute best to do the same with you," I slowly bring the duvet off his head and he looks at me and I can see tears welling up in his eyes as the old one steady.

"I love it when you're needy," I kiss his forehead

"I love it when you're clingy," I kiss his nose

"I love you for you." I finish kissing his lips, they're salty from his tears but his lips are soft just the same.

"You're perfect bear, through and through"

He shifts over and opens his arms wrapping me up in a warm hug, pulling the duvet over both of us. His eyes stare into mine and it's like we're in our own little enclosed world, isolated from any other.

Without the other we're both broken, but together at least we can be barely breathing.

A/N: sO I THINK THAT BEAR IS A REALLY CUTE NICKNAME BECAUSE LETS BE REAL BABY BEARS ARE ADORABLE OKAY BYe