Barely Breathing//Ethis

58||

Chris' point of view:

I don't chase after him, I know I shouldn't have asked him that and I know he doesn't want to talk about it.

I sit at the bench for a few more minutes before finally deciding to check on how Jakob's song writing is going.

"Hey," I say walking into his room, he's sat on the floor, guitar in hand and strumming a few chords "how's the song going?" I ask sitting across from him

"It's alright, I can play you what I have so far." He says already starting to play again

"Cause he got you falling so much deeper,

you're running the thoughts that come between ya.

And I hate to see your fire fading,

I hope you don't mind what I'm saying."

He stops singing and looks at me expectedly

"I like it," I smile nodding "what I've written is a surprise for you tomorrow"

"That's not how it works, you can't do that" he frowns

"Oh well" I smirk

"I can't believe we're writing our own song, for our own EP. I never would have imagined this a couple of months ago" he marvels, I nod in agreement

"I never would have imagined a lot of things a couple of months ago, but here we are." I reply standing up

I exit Jakob's room and pass Ethan's, I know he's upset and regardless of us having a little argument I'm always going to be here for him. I don't bother knocking, instead I just open the door and find Ethan sitting cross legged in the middle of his bed and my laptop resting on his legs with his headphones in. It takes me a moment to notice that there are tears falling down his cheeks and only then do I act.

I walk over to his bed and I close the laptop

"Don't watch it," I tell him softly "you don't need to watch it"

He doesn't reply, he gets up and runs into the ensuite, I quickly follow him and stand in the doorway.

He's throwing up.

"Ethan, it's going to be okay. We're going to the police and in the mean time he doesn't know where you are." I walk over to him and cautiously place a hand on his back

"I-I didn't see much" he says standing up and looking at his feet

He's lying. I know he's lying, he wouldn't have thrown up if he didn't see something really bad. However I nod anyway, I know why he doesn't want to tell me.

"Come on then" I say reaching over flushing the toilet, I grab his hand and we walk out of his ensuite

"I'm sorry," he mumbles "I'm sorry I'm always doing this. I'm sorry we can't do certain things with each other, I want to, believe me I do and I know that you want to as well, but I can't." He says swinging our hands back and forth so he has a reason to look down and not at me when he speaks

"I know, and it's okay. I don't expect anything from you and you shouldn't feel bad. I know it must be really hard for you and the only thing that matters is that we're together, I love you, regardless" I lead him over to the bed and we both sit down,

"There's an actual video Chris" he whispers like he only just fully processed it, he crawls further up the bed and rests his head on one of the pillows, I do the same and face him as I lie down.

"Ethan," I say softly when my eyes fall on his exposed arm, he follows where I'm looking seeing his arm now. And the newly made cuts across it, he goes to pull his sleeve down but I place my hand over his, stopping him. "No, don't."

"They're ugly" he mutters

"But they don't make you any less beautiful" I whisper leaning down and pressing my lips to his skin, kissing his scars. I slowly cover his arm in kisses, trying not to hurt him as I do so.

I bring my head back up and see tears forming in his eyes, he smiles at me.

"I love you" he says and a tear rolls down his cheek

"I wrote my solo for our song and I think you should hear it," I clear my throat getting ready to sing

"I hope you find out what's been missing,

I hope you get the chance to find yourself again.

I hope you find the strength to leave him, oh"

I open my eyes and am met with his dark brown ones immediately, more tears are falling now. I wrote it for him and he knows it.

He wipes his eyes and smiles at me again, I kiss his forehead and sit up

"I'm going to take this back to my room" I pick up the laptop and carry it to my room, I put it on my bed and almost as soon as I do, I get a text. I walk over to my desk and pick up my phone, there's a photo attached to the message.

Unknown Number: Is this what you wanted him to tell you?

I click on the photo attachment and see that it's a photo of Ethan.

He's shirtless on his hands and knees, crying and he appears to be spitting something white out his mouth, I instantly know what it is and I wish I didn't.