Barely Breathing//Ethis

102||

Chris' point of view:

I sit in the waiting room, my mind spinning with a million thoughts and questions. I really hope what Ethan told me isn't what I think it is. Somehow it means something else. I really hope that he's okay. I've been sitting here for ten minutes already and all I've done is worry. I don't know how long it's going to be before I can see him again and I don't know if I'll be able to wait any longer.

I need to talk to someone, so I call Jakob.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to-"

"I just need to talk to someone, please be that someone." I say into my phone, not really intending on cutting him off. I just need to get all this out.

"What's up?" He asks

I sigh loudly "Ethan just," I take a deep breath "Ethan just told me something that I didn't want to hear."

"What did he tell you?" He asks curiously

"Well, let's just say that James did more than strangle Ethan." I say resting my head in my hand

"Oh." Jakob sounds surprised

"And now I've been kicked out of his room because a nurse has to give him medication." I huff in annoyance

"You're allowed to see him after they're finished though, right?"

"I think so." I mumble

I don't know if he heard me because he's silent after that.

"Are you sure you're prepared to hear whatever Ethan has to say if he decides to tell you?" He asks after a while

"Yes I am."

"And you can't get impatient and lose your temper." He continues

"I won't, I swear I won't" I sigh, I can't.

"Just be careful with him Chris." He tells me

"I will be, thank you Jakob. I think I should go." I say hanging up the phone

I put my phone back into my pocket and sit with my head in my hands, I just don't know how this could keep happening to Ethan. He's never done a thing wrong and he keeps getting mistreated and used. He's the kindest most innocent person I know and he doesn't deserve any of the things that he's had to go through.

I just want to wrap him up in my arms and hold him so tight and protect him from the dangers of the world.

"Excuse me?" I look up to see Ethan's nurse "you can see him now"

I quickly scramble to my feet and walk down the hallway to Ethan's room. I take a deep breath and open the door. Ethan's propped up lying in bed, his head rolls to the side and he looks at me.

"Are you okay?" I ask softly as I walk over to him

He nods with a sigh.

"I don't know why they have to put me on different medication all at the same time because I feel so crappy" he says

I pull a chair over and sit beside his bed.

"My head hurts, my arm hurts, I feel like I'm going to throw up and I'm so tired." He sulks

"I don't really know what to tell you except that it'll wear off soon. They're just side affects" I try to reassure him

He nods again and closes his eyes.

I know I have to bring up what he told me, I can't just leave it unaddressed like it's nothing.

"Ethan." I say getting his attention again

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to tell me about it now?" I ask hoping he knows what I'm referring to.

"I guess" he sits up "what do you want to know?"

"Whatever you want to tell me."

"Okay, okay" he takes a deep breath
"It was at the studio and I had just finished going to the bathroom. I opened my stall door and James was there. All he had to say was Jeremy's name and he knew I'd get scared, so he did. He told me that he and Jeremy are old friends and he pushed me back into the stall and stepped in after me. He locked the stall and said that Jeremy had told him everything. Every little weakness, every little fear, what to say and what to do that would get to me, the list goes on. By then I was terrified, we were already too close for my liking and he got more intimidating by the second. He said something like 'Why don't we see if it's still true' I couldn't go anywhere. When he reached for my zipper and I squirmed and pleaded with him not to, he just smirked and said that at least that was still true. And when he touched me I lost it. My breathing hitched and there was this heavy kind of weight in my chest. I tried to push him off but it didn't work. I was crying, hyperventilating and shaking and he didn't care. I was having a fucking panic attack. I could barely breathe, I could hardly see through my tears and all I could think was 'Fuck, no. Not again. I can't let this happen again.' But it happened anyway and I couldn't do a thing about it. He wouldn't listen to me, no one ever listens to me. I sat in the stall for twenty minutes when he left, I couldn't move. Numb to everything y'know?"

He's calm and collected at first, and then he's not. Then tears start streaming down his face and he lowers his head squeezing his eyes shut. He whimpers quietly.

I reach out and take his hand, he flinches at first but relaxes and squeezes my hand.

"Did it only happen the once?" I have to ask, you can never really tell with Ethan.

He shakes his head.

"A few times, a few humiliating times"

"Oh Ethan"

"He hates me. He was so aggressive too, my fault. All my fault. I guess I'm just thankful that the stall was too small for him to do anything else. He played these stupid little mind games with me until I was an anxious mess." He tells me as he plays with the sheets

"Mind games?" I ask

"Things like: 'Jeremy took photos right? Do you want to take some photos?' Then he'd shove his phone camera in my face. 'Why're you crying Ethan? I thought you'd be used to this.' 'Jeremy misses you Ethan, I could bring him with me next time. Then we'd really have some fun." He explains trying to stop his crying

I pick up the tissue box on the table and hand it to him. He takes the box from me and puts it beside him. He wipes his eyes with a tissue and shrugs.

"It'd be really nice if you just held me right now"

I smile the tiniest bit and climb over him onto the bed. I wrap my arm around his waist and pull him into me, he rests his arm on my chest, it does look sore.

"My visiting rights have been changed," he tells me quietly "you can stay over night now, if you want to?"

"Of course."

A/N: finally updating woo! I swear I gave so many people spoilers for this chapter oops