Barely Breathing//Ethis

50||

A/N: I'd just like to apologise in advance for the feels

Chris' point of view:

"Can you tell us how it happened?" Mum asks

"Um, there was something in the water he gave me and it made me feel drowsy so he said he knew somewhere I could rest, but when he got me in the room he locked the door." Ethan tells them, but that's all he can get out before the tears start to flow. He tries to wipe them away but there are too many and he gives up, just hiding his face instead.

"Why don't we take a break?" Mum suggests immediately standing up and leaving the room, dad swiftly follows leaving Ethan and I alone.

"You're doing great Eth, I know its hard but, you're okay." I say softly, he nods calming down a bit now

I stand up and he follows me like a lost puppy into the dining room where lunch has been set up. Mum and dad are both already seated so Ethan and I join them.
At first there's an awkward silence but mum quickly dismisses it when she begins talking about her new favourite TV show, trying to make small talk.

Ethan just kind of moves his food from one side of the plate to the other and he doesn't seem to be listening to the conversation at all.

"My shirt was off before I could even process what was happening," he says quietly and the other conversation stops straight away and we all turn our attention to Ethan. "He pushed me onto the couch and he started touching me. I tried to stop him but I was too affected by whatever he gave me to be able to. I think I blacked out a bit because I don't remember much after that." He finishes and I know that some of that was a lie, he barely told them half the things he told me.

"Oh Ethan, thank you for telling us sweetie. You can always talk to us, and don't worry we won't let Jeremy hurt you." Mum tells him

"Can we go?" I ask sensing that Ethan is getting uncomfortable, dad nods and I stand up, Ethan quickly follows and we exit the room. I take his hand and lead him upstairs to my room, he let's go of my hand as I close the door and he sits on the edge of my bed staring down at his hands.

"You did so well," I walk over and sit beside him pulling him onto my lap  "I'm so so proud of you bub"

"I feel so stupid, there's still so much I didn't tell them and things I haven't told you and I don't want to keep it from you but I can't talk about it" he says starting to get upset, he throws his arms around my neck but he doesn't look me in the eye

"You shouldn't feel stupid, we all know that's it must be really hard to talk about and I don't expect you to tell me everything. I understand that, and I just want to be here for you." I tell him softly, kissing his forehead

"Chris, I want to tell you something else," he says quietly taking in a deep breath "when he first touched me, I stopped him. So he said if he couldn't touch me then I had to touch him. He forced me onto my knees and I freaked out and started crying but he didn't seem to care. He took my hand and forced himself on me, I tried to pull away but he wouldn't let me. I couldn't do anything, I just wanted it to be over. After he finally let me stop he said that because I did it to him then it was okay for him to do the same to me. I had no energy to physically stop him apart from begging him not to, and he obviously didn't like that because every time I did it made him hurt me more. I didn't do anything to stop him, I could have stopped him." His voice cracks at the end and he starts crying, instinctively I wrap him up in a hug pulling him into my chest and letting him cry.

He just cries and cries, it's the kind of crying that makes you shake all over and your chest ache. The kind of crying that makes your head spin and your heart pound. The kind of crying where you can barely think straight and the only thing you can feel is pain.
All I do is hold him because I know how bad it feels.

"Bear you're safe now, we won't let him hurt you again, I promise you that. I know it hurts real bad and I know it's hard but you are going to be okay." I tell him as I rub small circles on his back, he let's out a small whimper at my words and he buries his head further into my chest.

I don't know what to do now, I don't want him to feel like this. And I don't know how to make it better.

Except maybe one way, singing. 

"She would not show that she was afraid,
But being and feeling alone was too much to face,
Though everyone said that she was so strong,
What they didn't know is that she could barely carry on,

But she knew that she would be okay,
So she didn't let it get in her way,

Sometimes it all gets a little too much,
But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up,
And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same,
And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much,

She would always tell herself she could do this
She would use no help it would be just fine
But when it got hard she would lose her focus
So take my hand and we'll be alright

And she knew that she would be okay,
So she didn't let it get in her way,

Sometimes it all gets a little too much,
But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up,
And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same,
And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much, yeah.

A little too much, I said a little too much, oh.

Sometimes it all gets a little too much,
But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up,
And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same,
And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much yeah!

Sometimes it all gets a little too much,
But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up,
And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same,
And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much."